Son is in rehab

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Southern51, Oct 29, 2017.

  1. Southern51

    Southern51 New Member

    After such a long time of trying to get him to go to rehab, he did that on his own. I was worried he would chicken out but he did end up going.
    But you know what it’s like. I’m always waiting for all hell to break loose all over again.... I don’t know if he’d Stay there. He called me and said he’s having a hard time. I can only imagine.
    It’s a good program. It’s run by a non-profit. It starts with an inpatient phase that’s at least 3 months long, then sober living, and then aftercare, so it’s not one of those places where it’s a 30-days break from life and then they’re right back where they’ve started (30 days is not nearly enough to start a process like this).

    I’m hopeful but afraid of being hopeful. I know many addicts need more than one stint in rehab to stay clean. I don’t know where this is going, I know I have no way of knowing, and it’s a terrible feeling. Is this the end of this mess?
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  2. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Praise that he did it on his own and by choice.

    Just encourage him, I bet he will get so much more out of it if he does this for himself.

    I so get the hope and waiting for the crisis, but today celebrate today.
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  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I see several positives here. He arranged and went into rehab on his own so he wanted to get sober. He is still there. It is a long term program.

    You are right that many addicts relapse and need multiple stays in rehab. I truly believe your son is ahead of the curve, though, since he arranged his own stay in rehab. Many of our loved ones were forced into rehab and that is why it often doesn't take even though I do think the addict gets something each time that that are in treatment.

    I will keep my fingers crossed that this will be the start of the long road of recovery for your son.


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  4. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    If it helps, I'll hope big time for you and for him so you can stay where it's safe for your heart.

    But, each time is another chance and that in itself is good.
  5. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    How I can understand hopeful and afraid of being hopeful.
    Emotions have been the yo-yo on a string for so long.
    It’s exhausting.
    Not knowing is hard Southern. But then again, there are so many things in life that we might not foresee.
    Cautiously optimistic with no expectations is the road I would take, I think.
    How good it is that your son took this step.
    Remaining steady state and focused on your healing, continuing to build your toolbox for whatever come what may, helps in any situation.
    Take very good care of yourself.
    That is what you have control over.
    Prayers going up that your son sticks to the program!
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  6. Southern51

    Southern51 New Member

    I spoke too soon. He checked out. I feel like I’m stuck in some weird nightmare and I can’t wake up.
  7. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Ouch Southern.
    Well, deep, deep breaths.
    I understand the stuck in a nightmare feeling.
    I call it the swirly whirly.
    Been there on the roller coaster ride that I never bought a ticket for.
    I had to get off, somehow.
    I could see myself getting lost in the insanity of it.
    Drugs. Horrible body snatching drugs.
    We get mind and heart snatched right along with our d cs.
    I think you wrote on another post “we are not them, and they are not us.”
    So true.
    I think I would still find hope in the fact that your son stepped foot in the door. My two haven’t admitted to a problem.
    There is a good article on the top of the Parent Emeritus forum on detachment. It helps me find ways to get out of the swirly whirly and stop being so emotionally affected and frozen in the nightmare.
    It takes work and a lot of processing (still processing).
    I think all of this is possibly one of the hardest journeys known to man.
    So, one day, one moment at a time.
    We are here hoping for your sons recovery and yours.
    Mine, too.
    We have to find ways to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and recover from this madness.
    One step at a time.
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  8. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    That was quick! But maybe, just maybe, this is a step for him in the right direction. He's not ready to face his demons.

    How old is your son and how long has he been drugging? Does he live at home?

    I hope that you find some support for yourself. Whether it be a private therapist or group meetings of some sort. That's really all that we can do when we're on this road with our difficult children. You have to stay strong. Self care is so very important because for most of us, this is a long road. A marathon and not a sprint.

    Hugs. We get it.
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  9. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry to hear that he left. That tells you that he is not ready to get sober. It also tells you that he knows where to go when he decides that he does want to get sober.

    In the meantime, let him figure this out on his own. If he doesn't need treatment (or at least thinks that he doesn't), he should be able to function as an adult. He needs to get a job, find a place to live, and support himself. If he does, great! If not, maybe he will realize that the drugs are the problem and go back into treatment.

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  10. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Hi Southern

    We are in the same nightmare of reality. I only wish it would all fade away when I wake. Sadly not the case.
  11. Southern51

    Southern51 New Member

    Thank you all. Now it’s back to not knowing where he is and how he’s doing and worrying he might OD again. I want this mess to end already.
    He is only 22 years old, he should be building a life for himself, but he’s just running away from everything.
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  12. Southern51

    Southern51 New Member

    The rollercoaster continues. He’s back in rehab. Says he’s grateful they took him back. That he wants to be a better person and get clean.
    It’s been a day and he’s still there in their detox unit. It’s a start.
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  13. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    One day at a time Southern and a day in rehab is a good day.
  14. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    That’s great he went back.

    I know the roller coaster well. I wish it was easy to just detach and let them figure it out but our hearts are still aching for them every bump and turn.

    Take care.....
  15. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Keep us posted Southern.

    My son has been in rehab and outpatient programs MANY times. He stays sober but then goes back to using.

    He uses when he's happy, uses when he's sad, uses when he's anxious, uses when he's depressed. You name it. Can't deal with FEELINGS. Not sure WHY.

    Each time we just have to hope they are one step closer to being done with it.