Son still acting up

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Helpless29, May 10, 2018.

  1. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    Its been about 2 weeks since I seen or talked to my son after the incident of him breaking everything in his room downstairs, I text his dad daily who he lives with it to see hows he doing & he seemed to be doing ok but once again ,he took off but was picked up quickly by police & was high ,he just started summer school not even a week & has been suspended for leaving school grounds , at this point I dont think he will even get through Freshman year, should of been a sophmore but due to all his time out of school , has to redo freshman year, no really meaning to this post just wondering when does it end, will it be like this for the years to come?
  2. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Had any of my kids dared do such a thing, they would have been out, and I'm talkin' - not now, but right now. Destructive behaviour is something husband and I never tolerated in our home.

    I feel for so many folks here.
  3. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Well-Known Member

    None of us know when or if our troubled kids will come to the realization that they need to change and take the steps needed to accomplish that change. It is hard to watch them struggle. Because it is hard we have to take care of ourselves and treat ourselves with kindness. We all hope for the same thing that they will wake up and realize that the life they are living is not what they want it to be. Maybe the only way they can do that is if we show them how to live a calm and happy life. If it works great if it doesn't it is still better than the chaos that they want to drag us into.
  4. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    My son is out , living with his dad & will be signing over full custody, many of us here , have kids who deal with mental illness, anger issues & substance abuse. We deal with many issues & this site is a place we go for support.
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  5. Nessie

    Nessie Member

    Helpless I am sorry for you I also wonder when this will end. I think it’s more about learning to live with it and finding some peace and harmony for yourself again...I’m still working on this.

    If only it was as easy as just cutting off from our troubled children, I wish you well and hope for improvements soon x x
  6. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, if your child is underage, and your state does not have options for out of home placement, you can and will be charged with child abandonment and neglect if you make your child leave your home and they are underage.

    I know,because my daughter was picked up after I reported her for not coming home. Several days later, the police picked her up, took her to juvenile intake, kept her overnight, then called me the next day to pick her up. I told her I did not think I coukd keep her safe at home. I was told if I didn't her pick up by 5pm, I would be charged with child neglect. So I picked her up. She ran again in less than a week. When she came home, I told the police she had returned, and we had a court date in 6 days. They left her at our home. She ran again, and missed the court date.

    Pink Elephant, putting minor kids out of your home, is not a viable option for most people. I had to go to court, because my child was deemed a Child In Need of Care. And that's even when I was reaching out to authorities for help!

    Then, instead of getting real help, the parents get threatened with charges. I don't know how many times I reached out to the community, slept by her bedroom door, drove all night around town hunting for my child. Only to be told that I wasn't keeping my teen safe. There isn't real help for parents with a difficult child, even when they beg for it.

    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
    Last edited: May 11, 2018
  7. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    KSM your words are very true. There is very little help, understanding and support for parents of problem teens - that is why this board is such a lifeline.

    I am sorry Helpless to hear that your son is still "doing him" as the saying goes, I hope his dad can rein him in and get him help.

    If you are signing over full custody, then he will be your husband's problem legally, but I get that you will always be his mom and will always love him, and it will never stop hurting until he turns himself around.

    He is still very young, younger than my YS even. I hope that he will change eventually.
  8. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    That is true in my case, he has runaway from rehab centers as well, I have tried many places for troubled kids, because it is unsafe for me & my small children to have him at home with us, lucky for me, his dad is taking him in& my only option at this point is sign over custody or I will get in trouble for his actions, system does not help us unless you have alot of money to send them to a boarding school but they can still manage to runwaway from there.
  9. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    I even called the state for help & the lady's response on the phone was if you cant control your 15 teen your old maybe we should have DCFS come out, I hung up & cried& felt helpless , I did report her for the way she talked to me like I was a bad mom.
  10. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    Thank you for your kind words it helps alot!
  11. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    Yea signing over custody is a big step but I feel at this point it is my best decision & your right I will always be here for hm & I will see him when the times right, I love him so much! And pray things will chang.Thank you for your support.
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List