Sonic has a BEST FRIEND FINALLY! Going to stay at his place.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Aug 31, 2012.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Finally!!!! My Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) boy has a friend he really has a lot in common with (I wonder if this boy is on the spectrum too) and he is spending the next to days at his apartment. This young man played softball with Sonic in the Special Olympics and has a great family. His father was the softball team's coach! Both Sonic and T. are high functioning. The boy lives in a really cool and clean apartment complex that has nine apartments. Sonic is applying to live there. Somebody is on the premesis most of the time and a caseworker checks in on them in the morning and in the evening to make sure they get up for work and then to make sure they are ok for getting ready for bed. It's perfect for Sonic because he will be 80% independent...the residents come and go as they please. Anyhow, Sonic is really excited. He packed and keeps come downstairs to tell me how he can't wait for tomorrow.

    Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) adults, even the high functioning ones, can be childlike in some ways and Sonic is so cute the way he is so excited. Actually, working and playing sports has given him a few friends, not just this one, although he seems to like this one the most.

    Sonic has never wanted to spend the night away from home before, so this is his first time. Mom is excited and sad because I know Sonic will be moving out as soon as his name comes up on the waiting list (I hope it's a long list).

    When we first brought this two year old home, he was so wild and crazy and spastic and he raged so much that nobody knew if he'd ever be halfway normal. I can honestly say he is probably my happiest kid. He doesn't mind his disability and is usually on an even keel. I consider him a huge success story. You have to be well-behaved and able to take care of your needs to live in this apartment complex, and I know he will pass the muster.

    I am not sure why I posted it. Maybe it's an apprehensive yet happy vent? Thanks for reading it!
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    How exciting for him!!! I am quite happy (it gives me hope)! As for the mommy apprehension, yea, that's normal. What can I say besides ...... welcome to NORMAL!! You should be proud of yourself. You've done a great job with and FOR him. You need to take pride for giving him what he wouldn't have gotten without you and for raising him to be a good man.

  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Well, it's always a big deal when our wee chicks leave the nest... with or without disabilities, whether as prepared as we want them to be or not. Sounds like things are working out well for Sonic!
  4. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Hooray!!!! That is an awesome post!
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm thrilled that Sonic is taking this next step! Kudos to you and husband for always working toward his true potential, you have a lot to be proud of in your boy!. :)
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, I'm glad you posted because it's such a happy thing! I'm so happy for Sonic, and that soon he'll be trying his hand at the next step. You should be very proud of him! :)
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm proud of him. But he's not able to move into the apartments yet. There is a waiting list. He's just visiting a friend. However, I am content that this is the place he should live at. He knows everyone and can live independently but also get looked in on. There are things he still needs help with, such as calling for help if he is sick. But he can ride his bike around town if he wants, no permission needed, and he'll be happy. It could take two or t hree years for his name to come up on the waiting list, but I'm just happy he is finally socializing. Oh, yeah. Our cabs also will take him to work and back. There are rides to his sports and other activities too. It's NOT a group home or anything like it. It's an apartment complex, which is incredibly nice, for adults who need just a little bit of help. Sonic picked this place out for himself. It is truly awesome. He will pay rent according to his salary and he has to pay for his electricity. Heat is covered.

    Thanks to everyone for their good wishes!
  8. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    This sounds like a wonderful place for Sonic. I'm excited for him. i hope he enjoys his two days there - a preview of coming attractions!
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    This sounds like such a fantastic place!! How wonderful that places like that exist. What a great post!! :)
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sonic loves it and can't wait to stay. Unlike some kids, Sonic's disability doesn't bother him and he is attracted to other disabled people moreso than "typical" people. They just don't share his interests---"typicals." When he walked into the building there was a man in the community room and he waved and said in a friendly voice, "Hey, Sonic, what you doing here, dude?" These folks are much higher functioning than we realize, and they take care of one another and are sort of like a family. They work and play together, so to speak. I believe the young man in the community room bowls with Sonic...Sonic has become a very busy young adult. He has as many activities as Jumper! Sonic told me on the way to T's place, "I'm getting a lot less shy, aren't I?" He was very proud of himself.
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    MWM~ I hope my younger sis-in-law ends up in this situation eventually. Is there a program name so I can research similar programs here?
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    TM, this is specific to our county. They are all different. Just make sure that your sis-in-law goes to a good, caring place. Look around. Accept a long waiting period for a good place to live. I think it is so important for our disabled kids to have as much independence as possible while still feeling safe. Sonic is very excited. He is going back tomorrow and on Labor Day! Can't keep him home anymore :)
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm thrilled to read your post. fingers crossed. DDD
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Second day went really well. He was there from 9-7 again. He's going back I called T's father (I had to for one of his sports). He said T. never had a friend before and is very excited. Sonic told me they are so much alike. I am really happy for my boy and for T. too. They get along great and for hours at a time. Sonic says they never fight. In fact he said, "Why would we?"
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I am all teared up over this. I worked in apartment training /support while in grad school and loved that type of option for the clients. We provided as much or as little support as they needed. Some had neurotypical buddies living with them to help wake for work or double check burners were off etc. And some lived alone but had weekly or several times a week check ins with finances, on and on. This was in a neighborhood apt. complex with the general public. Anyway, I hope he does get in and finds it a good fit. The friend part is what really got me. That is so great. Bless both of their hearts.
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Buddy, thank you. The agency that Sonic works with wants him to get in so he will get in. Just a matter of time. It's not like a group home though. There is nobody 24/7 watching them. The only rules are that they not break the law. A caseworker from our local Community Care drives over a nd checks up on them twice a day, morning and night, sort of to make sure they aren't sick and are ready for work (they ALL work). The apartment complex has nine apartments and is on one level for the physically handicapped residents and is exceptionally clean. There is a nice community room and a place to do laundry. Cabs come to take the residents to work, sports, other activities. Sonic is a regular social butterfly these I'm so proud of him for WANTING to get his own place. He could live here indefinitely. We don't care. And he will be close to us so we can drop by often.

    Thanks for everyone's good wishes.
  17. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    The apartment complex is very very similar to the one I had difficult child#2 lined up for around six months ago. Sadly, GFGmom decided he should "stay home" at her house. It still breaks my heart. He is working part time at McD's and GFGmom is taking his paychecks which he thinks is "fair" because??? "my Mom provides me with room and board free".
    I am So happy for Sonic. DDD
  18. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    That's really too bad. Disabled children need to feel independent and also should not be duped by greedy parents who want them to live with them because of their money. One day she won't be around and that poor kid will have to find somewhere to live, but he will not be used to living away from home and being on his own (none of us can live forever). I want Sonic grounded and surrounded by friends and not feeling alone when the day comes when we aren't around anymore and I feel the best way to do that is to do it way before the time comes. Realistically, I can't depend on Jumper to take him in and live with him and care for him...she will have her own life and her own k ids. Ditto for SportsFan who lives so far away from everybody Sonic knows and PastryChef whose SO would not be a good match for Sonic. They want kids anyway. Sonic needs his own life, not dependent on just the family. I'm glad he is embracing it without any shove from Hub or me.