Still Scared....

[fallen angel]

It is so nice to be back and thank you to all who responded to my posting...it does help to know what I am feeling others feel. For someone who has not walked our walk they just don't understand. For some reason I have been feeling very uneasy lately and cannot put my finger on it...I have learned to trust my instincts through all this...It seems just when I think or feel comfortable a little with what they are doing something happens to destroy it. It is like waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me...I don't know what is worse the anticipation or the actual event...I do remember when my oldest difficult child was doing really bad I could tell when something was going to happen..I use to pray to please let it happen so we could move on..odd thought and prayer?...

I know I am still affected by all that has happen..the other night my oldest difficult child was going to take my younger difficult child to work since I was going out with a friend. I got home and my oldest told me the younger difficult child called and said he was not going to work and if they called tell them he is sleeping. Of course I panicked waiting all night for the phone to ring thinking he was gonna get in trouble...My oldest told me he refused to answer the phone since he was not going to cover for him....How I wish this feeling would just go away...

I am really worried about my youngest difficult child...the community service issue is a big deal to me and bothers me to know that by not doing it or attempting to he could be throwing his future away....some how they think they are invincible..it won't happen to them. It just breaks my heart..the thought of having to go back to court destroys me...My hubby takes him to probation since he doesn't drive yet..I actually get ill going to probation....he goes later this week and I know this subject will come up and she could refer back to court...

say a prayer...and thank you for listening....

 

[Loris]

I am so sorry you're suffering the anxiety because of his choices. I do understand your fear, it seems all too common. I think we all understand that, we're there all too often. I wish it weren't this way.

 

[KFld]

It takes a lot to stop worrying about what they are doing, especially when they are still living home. Good for oldest difficult child not answering the phone to lie for him. He needs to answer for himself and not expect people to cover for him.

 

[Sunlight]

it took me a very long time to detach from my son's choices and consequences. It can make you so sick. my son too has to do 15 hrs community service by may and he has not started. I will not remind him. he knows not doing it leads back to jail. he thinks it is no big deal. I simply told him I will not visit jail next time, no calls, no letters no nothing. it is my choice to remove myself from my adult children's choices.

if they need honest help or support I am here. if they know their choices will lead to trouble, I am history.

be strong for you and know your strength will show your child you cannot be involved if he strays from the path. you already warned him of where it leads. that is the end of your obligation.

 

[WhymeMom?]

fallen angel,

I know your fear and anxiety. Please don't let this ruin your health. I would not answer the phone for a long time, I just didn't want to hear anymore bad news. Of course by not answering the phone I didn't get to hear the good news either.

Your worrying does not get your difficult child to act. I know its not easy, but you need to let the consequences fall on him....

Thinking of you and hope your life gets a little easier....