Before my current marriage I was in a long term relationship with the person who I would call the love of my life. After eleven years together, she left me. I am realizing that I have been a shell of myself since. I have still not gotten over this loss and the pain from this failed relationship is a big part of why I am with my current spouse. The end of this relationship seemed abrupt but in retrospect was a long time coming. We had many issues. I learned that while it takes two to make a relationship work, it only takes one to end it. I was willing to put in the work - my ex was not. My ex is remarried now. I am not in contact with her, and I do not wish to be. She became a stranger and she has not been the person I fell in love with for many years - she stopped being that person even while we were still together. I met my current wife only a couple of weeks after the final split from my ex. My new marriage is primarily my way of avoiding dealing with the devastation of having been abandoned by the one person I thought I would be with for the rest of my life. I am realizing that all of the drama has been a distraction from my heartbreak. I do not know whether my current marriage will continue. I have written here of all the problems, some related to the children, others not. I do know that I am not over my grief and that I need to find a way to finally accept this loss and move on.