Thank you all for your ESH

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by nolo, Dec 3, 2016.

  1. nolo

    nolo Brave New World

    I have been lurking on CD for a couple of years and even set up a profile, but I could never get up the courage to post.

    However tonight, I felt compelled to let you all know how much it has meant to me to read everyone ESH during this time. I know I am not alone in this fight. I have joined NAMI and Al Anon trying to use my voice to advocate for better treatment facilities for those suffering with mental illness and addiction. It is an up hill fight as so many people don't understand and don't want to. I think it is fear. A sick brain is scary and I have had my share of being afraid of the eradicate and unstable behavior it manifest.

    My Borderline (BPD) daughter is stable for today but hates the medication's side effect. She hates feeling like she is in cement. But all the manic episodes she has had over the years, I tell her cement is better than the alternative of jail or death. It has been a struggle for her to come to acceptance of her illness.

    Through your ESH, I have really been working hard to take care of me and nurturing my interchild along with developing strong boundaries that protect my sanity. This has ultimately helped us all.

    I have come to realize the only person I can change is me and with that knowledge has come great power.

    Thank you all, and especially those who keep it going behind the scenes. I don't think I would have made it this far without your dedication to maintaining it.
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  2. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Welcome Nolo!

    I'm so glad you decided to share.

    This is such a perfect thing to say.

    I'm so happy that you are working on yourself and yes, there is great power within us. Stepping out of the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves.

    I hope your daughter will continue to stay on her medications.

    ((HUGS)) to you.......................
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Nolo!

    What a positive post, thank you for sharing your story with us. When our kids get themselves on level ground, it is a major victory to celebrate, congratulations!

    And, a big thank you for the work you do to advocate for mental illness and addiction!

    Sending you a big HUG too.......
  4. Kalahou

    Kalahou Active Member

    Thank you for sharing, Nolo. I’m sure you speak for many more who come to CD without posting, just to get the comfort, encouragement, wisdom, and guidance to make it through day after day. We are all in this together.
  5. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Well, I had to google ESH. Experience. Strength. Hope.

    That pretty much says it.

    You make several important points, NOLO:

    I agree we are a movement, yet I had not thought of it in this way.

    I am happy and hopeful for you that you have prevailed in influencing your daughter to accept medication. She may decide at some point to refuse it, but your awareness of your limits, and the limits of your responsibility will allow you to do the right thing for each of you, and your family, whatever she chooses.

    For me, boundaries, and the wanting to impose control, to operate from my own hopes and needs--is a real weakness on my part.

    You are to be applauded for the boundaries, and your commitment for self-care, and the efforts you have made to seek support.

    I did things exactly reversed. I was able to reach out here and post. It took me a year and a half before I was able to reach out for direct support, in my community. I was afraid. But I am doing so, now.

    I am so glad you are posting, and I hope you continue. The actual posting, the thinking while writing, is actually both cathartic and I believe changes the brain, allows us to discharge some of our pain.

  6. nolo

    nolo Brave New World

    Thank you for the warm welcomes. I try very hard to stay in today now. Some days harder than others. I will definitely become more active on this board. As I give to the world so I will be given in due measure.

    One thing I was confused about when I read my post after it was published I had typed my daughter's illness as suffering from a bipolar illness and I guess I put initials but somehow it typed out Borderline Personality which she is not. In fact she is Bipolar 1 and sometime it can be rapid cycling. I will definitely be more careful with acronyms in the future.

    Wishing all who read my words perfect peace and to know you are in my prayers and are loved.
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  7. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I also try to live in the reality of NOW and am very spiritual. It totally helps. I think we may have taken a similar path.

    There are so many letters that turn into words we didn't mean. At this point I just usually type in the whole thing so I know that I'm relaying the right info!

    I am glad you found us and that we found you.
  8. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Tomorrow is never promised!

    Our son says he lives as Gumby...but so much better than wanting to die!

    Our mental health advocates...we are here...we must keep talking for our loved ones...thank you for all you do.

    Glad you posted! Hugs and warm wishes.