A
AmericanGirl
Guest
difficult child has completed 18 days of a 28 day in patient rehab program. I wish they would keep him until he turned 30. Am dreading his release.
He asked me to come over yesterday to visit from 1-5. By 3pm he wanted to go smoke and he couldn't unless I left so he asked me to leave. I drove almost 100 miles one way to see him.
In some ways, he is doing well. In others, he has miles to go.
Examples:
1. On the phone last week, I mentioned I bought him a gift. He hounded me four times until I told him what it was - a silver cross necklace. Then he told me not to give it to him in front of the nurses. I wasn't going to give it to him until his release. The same day, I told him he was wrong to hound me. No means no. And that I needed to work on my boundaries more. Plus, if you give someone a gift, you don't have the terms of when you can give it to them dictated to you. difficult child took it well. Progress.
2. Yesterday while I was there, difficult child started to complain that I had removed the neon lights from inside "his" car (the one I bought). (When I bought the car, I told him not to attach anything to the car, etc. without my permission. He did it anyway.) I said after your DUI, I asked you to clean it out and get all your stuff out. You didn't. I asked again. You still didn't finish. I got a sack of just garbage out of the car plus a pile of personal items. The car needed to be driven because it had sat for six weeks. I tried to plug in my cell phone and found 2 adapters expanding the 12 volt connectors plus a ton of wires in my way. Yes, I removed all of them. If you had wanted them, you had two chances to remove them. difficult child expects me to replace them. $60 HUH?!? Do you have any clue as to how much cash your addiction has cost me? When will I get that back? He asked for an apology. I refused. Then he claims that I am wrong.
He still has not signed the release so they can speak with me.
He wants to move in with someone who will get out about a week before him. This will be for 8 weeks while difficult child completes the partial hospitalization program. He claims the counselor has approved them living together. Yet, I hear the other guy has an apartment, then nope, then he will stay at his brother's house, then nope, then he is looking for one. Well, if I am expected to pay for it, I need information before I commit. This will mean I have to pay $275 for difficult child to get his license back and allow him to take car. Plus rent for 8 weeks, etc. etc. A huge amount of cash.
Finally, difficult child asked me yesterday if I turned his cell phone off. No, I changed it so your calls and texts could only come to and from me. Why? Because I didn't know if you would stay in rehab or leave. You refused to sign release so they couldn't tell me if you left. I sure wasn't going to have you leave and then call some idiot to come get you. Turns out, difficult child asks nurse for phone to "get a number" and sees he has zero texts. He claims he would feel better if I changed it so he could get "supportive" messages from friends. Hmmmm, the addicts you left are gonna send you supportive messages in rehab?!?
Sigh.....
He asked me to come over yesterday to visit from 1-5. By 3pm he wanted to go smoke and he couldn't unless I left so he asked me to leave. I drove almost 100 miles one way to see him.
In some ways, he is doing well. In others, he has miles to go.
Examples:
1. On the phone last week, I mentioned I bought him a gift. He hounded me four times until I told him what it was - a silver cross necklace. Then he told me not to give it to him in front of the nurses. I wasn't going to give it to him until his release. The same day, I told him he was wrong to hound me. No means no. And that I needed to work on my boundaries more. Plus, if you give someone a gift, you don't have the terms of when you can give it to them dictated to you. difficult child took it well. Progress.
2. Yesterday while I was there, difficult child started to complain that I had removed the neon lights from inside "his" car (the one I bought). (When I bought the car, I told him not to attach anything to the car, etc. without my permission. He did it anyway.) I said after your DUI, I asked you to clean it out and get all your stuff out. You didn't. I asked again. You still didn't finish. I got a sack of just garbage out of the car plus a pile of personal items. The car needed to be driven because it had sat for six weeks. I tried to plug in my cell phone and found 2 adapters expanding the 12 volt connectors plus a ton of wires in my way. Yes, I removed all of them. If you had wanted them, you had two chances to remove them. difficult child expects me to replace them. $60 HUH?!? Do you have any clue as to how much cash your addiction has cost me? When will I get that back? He asked for an apology. I refused. Then he claims that I am wrong.
He still has not signed the release so they can speak with me.
He wants to move in with someone who will get out about a week before him. This will be for 8 weeks while difficult child completes the partial hospitalization program. He claims the counselor has approved them living together. Yet, I hear the other guy has an apartment, then nope, then he will stay at his brother's house, then nope, then he is looking for one. Well, if I am expected to pay for it, I need information before I commit. This will mean I have to pay $275 for difficult child to get his license back and allow him to take car. Plus rent for 8 weeks, etc. etc. A huge amount of cash.
Finally, difficult child asked me yesterday if I turned his cell phone off. No, I changed it so your calls and texts could only come to and from me. Why? Because I didn't know if you would stay in rehab or leave. You refused to sign release so they couldn't tell me if you left. I sure wasn't going to have you leave and then call some idiot to come get you. Turns out, difficult child asks nurse for phone to "get a number" and sees he has zero texts. He claims he would feel better if I changed it so he could get "supportive" messages from friends. Hmmmm, the addicts you left are gonna send you supportive messages in rehab?!?
Sigh.....