klmno
Active Member
It was horrible. I should have known. Our county just doesn't have people in it who handle things like they do in other places. They had someone there from DSS, SD, 3 people from the funding agency, 2 from mental health, someone from Department of Juvenile Justice plus the PO.
It started with them referring to the MDT meeting that the school had with them last week. The people from Department of Juvenile Justice had my request to the judge with my letter and letters from psychiatrist/therapist- I'm not sure if everyone had copies of that or not. Anyway, it appeared that between already having the sd's opinion that difficult child is no problem anymore at school and that it was because of the behavioral strategies they had in place (they have none in place- MS's and dealing with him differently turned his behavior around at school), and the determination that all this was just a behavior problem with difficult child at home that would not exist if I had been willing to work with the MST guy that had been ordered 18 mos ago- they had their minds made up. That letter I wrote to the judge listed each agencies' repsonses to my requests for help (which were all to turn me to a different direction) and it was clearly copied to the state office of protection & advocacy. Anyway, one guy from the funding agency flew all over me. I was bombarded with questions and not given time to answer. It was a horrible experience.
Some things said : DSS said that they would not put difficult child in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and "did I not understand that he would be around other mentally ill teens and learn much worse behavior and that placement outside the home was an extremely traumatic event for a child, much less placement in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC)". I said it would be a lot more traumatic and he'll learn a lot worse if he's in the state correctional facility; and where will he end up if he stabs me in 2 weeks? Then she made issue over me not telling the PO that difficult child had put a knife in my face.
The guy from funding kept going on and on about difficult child just needing behavior modification. I tried to explain about mood cycling and that this was brought on by difficult child's medication changes trying to address depression in October. They all just ignored me- even the mental health people. The mental health person asked if I had difficult child do chores at home (DUH! And how would that make a difference in our crisis situation anyway?) Then she asked if I thought that difficult child should never be punished for things and couldn't learn anything because he had a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis. I said "No, I understand that there is a behavior compoonent to this- but it's only one component and addressing that alone will NEVER solve our current problems". I also said there had been several tdocs in the past who said they cannot help us until medications stabilize difficult child's cycling. And that difficult child does not exhibit behaviors like this when he's stable. (Why is it that NO ONE ever wants to believe that?)
The funding guy (I wonder what his role really is) said well, they think the behavior needs to be addressed first. I said good luck. I said difficult child needed more psychiatrist care, more often, to get stabilized and no behavior contract would ever do that. The guy said that difficult child wouldn't see a psychiatrist any more often in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or a psychiatric hospital. I said that I know for a fact that he would if it was a psychiatric facility. I said difficult child needed to learn how to manage his illness and urges and prevent cycling as much as possible and behavioral tdocs were not going to teach that because we've been trying that for 3 years and it hasn't solved the problem yet. The guy said something like what do I do when difficult child gets up in the mornings and says he isn't going to go to school. I told him that isn't what is happening- that difficult child stays awake for 2 days being erratic or going from extreme highs to extreme lows then completely crashes for 2 days and can't be woken to a coherent state.. Then I said something about sharp objects and difficult child cutting himself before and the guy said I might have to lock that stuff up. I said I can't lock every household item up that can be used for cutting or stabbing and he said yes I could and I might just have to. This guy doesn't have a clue and is just looking to blame me and if we got any therapist from them, he would show up with the same attitude and approach. Just like the mst guy.
He said they would either give me in home therapy or MST- which I had gone to court over last year to get rid of. I told him I AM NOT doing Mst again. PO said I never gave it a chance and DSS said what a wonderful therapist the mst guy was and that he was very qualified in BiPolar (BP). (OH- BS) I said he showed up to do nothing but a behavior contract and didn't even stay consistent with what we were doing from one visit to another and that I had gone to the specialty clinic at the teaching psychiatric hospital and had difficult child evaluation'd and had written recommendations of what treatment he should be getting and mst was not it. The guy looked at a person from mental health and said "what do you recommend- intensive in home therapy or mst". She rolled her eyes and said at this point, intensive in home.
I said well, even if that takes care of one component, now, who's going to put food on the table? They told me to take it or leave it and I could choose between getting that funded through the county team or dept of corrections. I asked if they could tell me what exactly they meant by in home therapy and what it would involve and what would happen if there was a personality conflict between me and the therapist or if this didn't work. The only answer I got was that if nothing else worked then someday down the road they might look at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) as an option.
I said well, I can't afford to do it. I can't meet the demands I have and I can't commit to more time with tdocs every week. So, how do I see about getting difficult child into foster care or a shelter. DSS lady said go to judge and get judge to order it and judge will take away all my parental rights, order me to pay extremely high child support, order me to do a bunch of stuff and order in home therapy for difficult child until she determines if difficult child can ever come back home, then she chuckled. The guy from Department of Juvenile Justice said yep, the judge will order you to pay for a lot. I said she (the judge) can order away and you might as well put me in jail now because you can't get blood from a turnip and I have nothing left that I can give.
They said it was my choice- if I go through county team then I have to pay co-pays, if I go thru corrections, then I don't have to pay co-pays- but in home therapy is all they are offering. Then the guy from Department of Juvenile Justice said if I had the in-home, and something happened at home with difficult child pulling a knife that I could call 911, they would get cops to my house and cops would call mental health, who would call the in home people, who would send someone to my house. I said I can call 911 now and get cops to my house. So, the crisis help would be ultimately getting them to my house, after doing what I'm already doing anyway? It seemed more than clear by that point that they were trying to force me to put this in Department of Juvenile Justice's hands and not get funding through county team. They did say if I chose in home through county team that there would be a meeting to see if they would fund it. I'm not sure how different, if any , that would be.
Then,they said again "well, that's it- I could let them know by contacting PO". I said well, I might as well leave, I can't commit to anymore because as I said, I can't meet the demands I already have. Then, as a lady from funding was walking me out, I asked her how to start the process to ask judge to place difficult child somehwere else. She told me go to intake at Department of Juvenile Justice. (This is where my friendly lady is that I met last week- the one with the BiPolar (BP) hubby). I guess I'll go down there in the morning.
It started with them referring to the MDT meeting that the school had with them last week. The people from Department of Juvenile Justice had my request to the judge with my letter and letters from psychiatrist/therapist- I'm not sure if everyone had copies of that or not. Anyway, it appeared that between already having the sd's opinion that difficult child is no problem anymore at school and that it was because of the behavioral strategies they had in place (they have none in place- MS's and dealing with him differently turned his behavior around at school), and the determination that all this was just a behavior problem with difficult child at home that would not exist if I had been willing to work with the MST guy that had been ordered 18 mos ago- they had their minds made up. That letter I wrote to the judge listed each agencies' repsonses to my requests for help (which were all to turn me to a different direction) and it was clearly copied to the state office of protection & advocacy. Anyway, one guy from the funding agency flew all over me. I was bombarded with questions and not given time to answer. It was a horrible experience.
Some things said : DSS said that they would not put difficult child in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and "did I not understand that he would be around other mentally ill teens and learn much worse behavior and that placement outside the home was an extremely traumatic event for a child, much less placement in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC)". I said it would be a lot more traumatic and he'll learn a lot worse if he's in the state correctional facility; and where will he end up if he stabs me in 2 weeks? Then she made issue over me not telling the PO that difficult child had put a knife in my face.
The guy from funding kept going on and on about difficult child just needing behavior modification. I tried to explain about mood cycling and that this was brought on by difficult child's medication changes trying to address depression in October. They all just ignored me- even the mental health people. The mental health person asked if I had difficult child do chores at home (DUH! And how would that make a difference in our crisis situation anyway?) Then she asked if I thought that difficult child should never be punished for things and couldn't learn anything because he had a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis. I said "No, I understand that there is a behavior compoonent to this- but it's only one component and addressing that alone will NEVER solve our current problems". I also said there had been several tdocs in the past who said they cannot help us until medications stabilize difficult child's cycling. And that difficult child does not exhibit behaviors like this when he's stable. (Why is it that NO ONE ever wants to believe that?)
The funding guy (I wonder what his role really is) said well, they think the behavior needs to be addressed first. I said good luck. I said difficult child needed more psychiatrist care, more often, to get stabilized and no behavior contract would ever do that. The guy said that difficult child wouldn't see a psychiatrist any more often in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or a psychiatric hospital. I said that I know for a fact that he would if it was a psychiatric facility. I said difficult child needed to learn how to manage his illness and urges and prevent cycling as much as possible and behavioral tdocs were not going to teach that because we've been trying that for 3 years and it hasn't solved the problem yet. The guy said something like what do I do when difficult child gets up in the mornings and says he isn't going to go to school. I told him that isn't what is happening- that difficult child stays awake for 2 days being erratic or going from extreme highs to extreme lows then completely crashes for 2 days and can't be woken to a coherent state.. Then I said something about sharp objects and difficult child cutting himself before and the guy said I might have to lock that stuff up. I said I can't lock every household item up that can be used for cutting or stabbing and he said yes I could and I might just have to. This guy doesn't have a clue and is just looking to blame me and if we got any therapist from them, he would show up with the same attitude and approach. Just like the mst guy.
He said they would either give me in home therapy or MST- which I had gone to court over last year to get rid of. I told him I AM NOT doing Mst again. PO said I never gave it a chance and DSS said what a wonderful therapist the mst guy was and that he was very qualified in BiPolar (BP). (OH- BS) I said he showed up to do nothing but a behavior contract and didn't even stay consistent with what we were doing from one visit to another and that I had gone to the specialty clinic at the teaching psychiatric hospital and had difficult child evaluation'd and had written recommendations of what treatment he should be getting and mst was not it. The guy looked at a person from mental health and said "what do you recommend- intensive in home therapy or mst". She rolled her eyes and said at this point, intensive in home.
I said well, even if that takes care of one component, now, who's going to put food on the table? They told me to take it or leave it and I could choose between getting that funded through the county team or dept of corrections. I asked if they could tell me what exactly they meant by in home therapy and what it would involve and what would happen if there was a personality conflict between me and the therapist or if this didn't work. The only answer I got was that if nothing else worked then someday down the road they might look at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) as an option.
I said well, I can't afford to do it. I can't meet the demands I have and I can't commit to more time with tdocs every week. So, how do I see about getting difficult child into foster care or a shelter. DSS lady said go to judge and get judge to order it and judge will take away all my parental rights, order me to pay extremely high child support, order me to do a bunch of stuff and order in home therapy for difficult child until she determines if difficult child can ever come back home, then she chuckled. The guy from Department of Juvenile Justice said yep, the judge will order you to pay for a lot. I said she (the judge) can order away and you might as well put me in jail now because you can't get blood from a turnip and I have nothing left that I can give.
They said it was my choice- if I go through county team then I have to pay co-pays, if I go thru corrections, then I don't have to pay co-pays- but in home therapy is all they are offering. Then the guy from Department of Juvenile Justice said if I had the in-home, and something happened at home with difficult child pulling a knife that I could call 911, they would get cops to my house and cops would call mental health, who would call the in home people, who would send someone to my house. I said I can call 911 now and get cops to my house. So, the crisis help would be ultimately getting them to my house, after doing what I'm already doing anyway? It seemed more than clear by that point that they were trying to force me to put this in Department of Juvenile Justice's hands and not get funding through county team. They did say if I chose in home through county team that there would be a meeting to see if they would fund it. I'm not sure how different, if any , that would be.
Then,they said again "well, that's it- I could let them know by contacting PO". I said well, I might as well leave, I can't commit to anymore because as I said, I can't meet the demands I already have. Then, as a lady from funding was walking me out, I asked her how to start the process to ask judge to place difficult child somehwere else. She told me go to intake at Department of Juvenile Justice. (This is where my friendly lady is that I met last week- the one with the BiPolar (BP) hubby). I guess I'll go down there in the morning.
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