My son who I will call GTG just turned 19 recently. He's been threatening suicide, so was hospitalized twice in the last 3 weeks. He lives with my ex - he was given a choice to move with me when I moved out of our home town with my job almost 5 years ago and chose to stay with Dad where he had his life long friends. His older sister also stayed as she was almost done high school. Well, over the years, Dad taught both of my kids it was ok to lie to me. I was told my son was doing well, going to school, he had NOT been going to school at all so it wasn't until he was about to quit that I found out what was really going on when I called his school due to the run around my ex was giving me. After trying to intervene and failing, he quit school at the age of 17 and with a grade 9 education. Then I was told he was getting along with my exes new live in girlfriend. Two years after she moves in, both our children dislike her and even I have issues with her after stepping on my toes (not literally - but as a Mom) during my daughters first surgery when she was 19. GTG told me that she is the wedge between him and Dad, that he regretted not leaving with me and she was making Dad choose between them.
GTG hasn't had much luck finding work and it's almost like the world owes him a living. Dad says he has anger issues but I personally haven't seen them. He has no ability to care about anything it seems. He "just doesn't care" He was a cutter but stopped a year ago, the scars are visible. He sleeps all day and stays up most of the night. He smokes pot but his friends assure me that is all. He also has reoccurring headaches and stomachaches. Dad kicked GTG out recently so myself, and our daughter had a day and a half of threatening text messages with him saying goodbye to me several times. First day I had the police track him down by pinging his cell, he lied to the police so they took him to a teen mental health center that let him out the next day. He threatened suicide again immediately, more threats. Again he was picked up when I called the police and spent 3 forced days on the psychiatric floor where he refused all help and told me he was planning on killing himself as soon as he could get free. His nurses told me he mentioned a teacher in his past but wouldn't elaborate what had happened. He had a teacher that was convicted of child pornography the year he taught our son. His Dad and he talked I guess with a social worker at the hospital so Dad went and picked him up when his 72 hour hold was over. They argued and Dad kicked him out of his car on the way home... Threats started again. I finally convinced him to walk home and his sister heard him crying outside so they let him back in. He said he needed help and would take it. Dad said he hadn't cried in years.
All was well for a week, he talked to the family Doctor about seeing a psychiatrist, took a job, then earlier this week GTG claims he was in the bathroom with a stomachache so Dad left without giving him a ride to work and he'd been fired. (GTG got a temp job where Dad also works but it is 30 min drive away.) GTG stuck something metal in a socket later that day and blew a breaker, police were called again where they told Dad's common law they shouldn't have let him back in to begin with. They let GTG storm out and again, a text saying goodbye arrived. I had just seen him the day before for a hug and a talk and told him the stress was killing me and he had to accept help and get himself together. He knows only he can help himself. Clear as mud yet? So after the socket incident he stayed at a friends 1 night (she sent me a facebook message) and the next night, he went back to the hospital for help. The first day he spent in the emergency ward due to lack of a bed for the floor he needed. I called last night to check on him or speak to him and they said he'd been discharged. I have no idea where he is, no one has heard from him as far as I know. His cell is dead and his charger is at his Dads. Dad said "I DON'T CARE" when I told him he was gone.
The hardest part for me is ....knowing that I can't fix this... wishing I had forced him to move with me when he was almost 15 and I left for reasons beyond my control..... that he is my miracle baby, I was in 2 car accidents during his pregnancy.... that he hurt his relationship with my fiance of 5 years so rarely ever visited me during the last 3 years.... knowing my fiance would move out rather then watch me "being tortured" as he puts it, believing my son is just lazy and spoiled....... he is my youngest child.... I am used to taking these calls and helping people (911) not making them! It's tearing me up inside. My world feels out of control and the walls closing in. As of right now, my 19 year old child is homeless and Mom has a broken heart.
GTG hasn't had much luck finding work and it's almost like the world owes him a living. Dad says he has anger issues but I personally haven't seen them. He has no ability to care about anything it seems. He "just doesn't care" He was a cutter but stopped a year ago, the scars are visible. He sleeps all day and stays up most of the night. He smokes pot but his friends assure me that is all. He also has reoccurring headaches and stomachaches. Dad kicked GTG out recently so myself, and our daughter had a day and a half of threatening text messages with him saying goodbye to me several times. First day I had the police track him down by pinging his cell, he lied to the police so they took him to a teen mental health center that let him out the next day. He threatened suicide again immediately, more threats. Again he was picked up when I called the police and spent 3 forced days on the psychiatric floor where he refused all help and told me he was planning on killing himself as soon as he could get free. His nurses told me he mentioned a teacher in his past but wouldn't elaborate what had happened. He had a teacher that was convicted of child pornography the year he taught our son. His Dad and he talked I guess with a social worker at the hospital so Dad went and picked him up when his 72 hour hold was over. They argued and Dad kicked him out of his car on the way home... Threats started again. I finally convinced him to walk home and his sister heard him crying outside so they let him back in. He said he needed help and would take it. Dad said he hadn't cried in years.
All was well for a week, he talked to the family Doctor about seeing a psychiatrist, took a job, then earlier this week GTG claims he was in the bathroom with a stomachache so Dad left without giving him a ride to work and he'd been fired. (GTG got a temp job where Dad also works but it is 30 min drive away.) GTG stuck something metal in a socket later that day and blew a breaker, police were called again where they told Dad's common law they shouldn't have let him back in to begin with. They let GTG storm out and again, a text saying goodbye arrived. I had just seen him the day before for a hug and a talk and told him the stress was killing me and he had to accept help and get himself together. He knows only he can help himself. Clear as mud yet? So after the socket incident he stayed at a friends 1 night (she sent me a facebook message) and the next night, he went back to the hospital for help. The first day he spent in the emergency ward due to lack of a bed for the floor he needed. I called last night to check on him or speak to him and they said he'd been discharged. I have no idea where he is, no one has heard from him as far as I know. His cell is dead and his charger is at his Dads. Dad said "I DON'T CARE" when I told him he was gone.
The hardest part for me is ....knowing that I can't fix this... wishing I had forced him to move with me when he was almost 15 and I left for reasons beyond my control..... that he is my miracle baby, I was in 2 car accidents during his pregnancy.... that he hurt his relationship with my fiance of 5 years so rarely ever visited me during the last 3 years.... knowing my fiance would move out rather then watch me "being tortured" as he puts it, believing my son is just lazy and spoiled....... he is my youngest child.... I am used to taking these calls and helping people (911) not making them! It's tearing me up inside. My world feels out of control and the walls closing in. As of right now, my 19 year old child is homeless and Mom has a broken heart.