therapy session at hospital...

[buddy]

Well, I liked the therapist okay, they actually reassured me on some things that always lurk in the back of my mind... One thing I was afraid of was that they would diagnose him with a bunch of things that would muddy the waters like ODD, ect. When we were writing the "goals" for the week, she said they dont think they should even put something for being oppositional because he is so different from teh oppositional kids they see. They can give him lots of directions and he gladly says ok and just does it. They said (duh, but it is good to hear from fresh eyes/ears) that every single inappropriate behavior seems very sudden and impulsive. They see he has a conscience and that he is so unable to process what is going. Still have the problem of him saying he is going to punch and kick me every time he sees me. He didn't last night but today when he was brought to the room after we talked he just came right over and punched me in the arm and tried to kick my shin. I was in a chair. It was not like the rage/seizures stuff, easy to fend off, but it is just what I feared...he is stuck in that now.

He was also in the middle of doing a craft thing when they went to get him. I suggested next time that they start out, then I am brought in. So he is already in the mode of being there. No transition issues for him. They will also schedule for first thing in the morning so he wont be missing anything or taken away from teh group. Not that he loves the group anyway, just that it is on a schedule and so that is what he follows. I suggested writing therapy on the schedule and STICK to the time, not "around 8:30".

The called a code but he just got up and walked out. He got out of it which is what he wanted. In any event I know what he was thinking. A meeting like that only means one thing, I am in trouble. I told her that he needs to see the agenda for the meeting and realize he is not in trouble. One thing for sure...I am feeling really solid in how much I know my kid.

Weird thing, the first day he was there (when he had the huge meltdown) i went with my sisters to BINGO for one of their birthday. (I can't remember ANY time I have been with my sisters without difficult child) I have never done that...kind of felt old doing bingo, but the crowd was actually young...

anyway at about 930 i just had to find my phone. I looked thru my purse etc. and though I knew I could have heard it I just wanted it in front of me. I told my sisters that I was sure I was going to get a call very soon. They called about 40 minutes later which meant I was looking for it when he started the rage. That happens to me so much with school too. I wish I could be oblivious to it.

I am going to feel really bad if he can't do Halloween. He loves it and he will blame me for not going.

I will go see him in an hour or so. His equine therapist is going to come and visit and bring some hair cut from Gator's tail! I laughed my head off but I know difficult child will LOVE it. He will touch it over and over and probably smell it a lot. sorry so weird, but he is Autistic afterall.

Hope he doesn't go nuts again. such a bummer.

 

[TeDo]

I am glad they are seeing a lot of the things you have been telling people. That alone has to feel validating. Your little bits of wisdom sound awesome. I hope they listen to you about those too. I love it when someone else LISTENS to me about how well I do know my kids. Keep going!!!

 

[DDD]

What a relief that they are listening and trying to work with you both. Hugs. DDD

by the way, living in Florida I have seen a bunch of gators and eat gator tail but I never knew they had hair!

 

[Liahona]

He is so lucky to have you. I'm glad you like the therapist. Do they have any idea of how to get difficult child un-stuck? Have they started the new medication or is the old medication still in his system?

 

[buddy]

ddd-hahaha! The horse's name is Instigator. Here is the really funny thing. difficult child doesn't know that but tonight he used what I assume is what they are telling him...he was banished to his room for the evening...for "instigating the other kids" He has never used that word before. I am ok with his being in the room because he is there for medication management not social skills and I sure as heck dont want him picking up their behaviors and for him to share his.

He did a lot of "fake Kicks" at me tonight. Then when the kids and the therapist came (yes, two of the volunteers came too...I luckily got permission to let them in...he did't get to keep the hair though they made it too long and so it was like a rope! I said he can have it on Thurs for a short time and I will bring it home. The kids all made cards and took pics of the horses and made talk bubbles for them to say hi to difficult child! so cute. He was happy. )
So he could have a nicer visit I walked out for a few minutes and he tapped the back of my leg as I walked by like a little punch. He is just really sooooooo stuck on that now. What the heck can we do???

He started the lithium last night, very low still of course.

He was rocking constantly and really flipping around. threw all his legos against the walls to "play"...I just dont get it. Not him. I hope he is not already showing signs it wont work. It is very low and I realize it is one that takes a while to kick in but doctor said that they should know the trend at least before then.

I am worried he is going to take t his new difficult child to school and be kicked out. It is like he is back in Kindergarten and he is in 8th grade. It is so very strange. I just have to pray. I will not send him to school I guess until he settles down. one good thing...the staff said, this kid can never be in an EBD program or a special needs only school....he just is too imitative and then he takes what he learned and raises it to a whole new level! I have said that for years! We are still paying for the one year I let that happen. It iwas a "neurobiological" class...they mixed the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and ebd kids.... huge mistake for the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids. I know one girl whose mom said she feels like she lost two years of progress. That is where difficult child learned his swear words. That's the school district I moved out of.

i'm trying really hard to just stay in my thinking head space. I cried so much yesterday night and now I am just so tired and afraid if I go there I wont come back.

 

[InsaneCdn]

So he could have a nicer visit I walked out for a few minutes and he tapped the back of my leg as I walked by like a little punch. He is just really sooooooo stuck on that now. What the heck can we do???

Can you come up with a substitute behavior? Sometimes its the only way I can get my kids unstuck... even the almost-easy child sometimes gets stuck.

 

[BellJar]

I think I'm still too new here to this process and learning myself to offer any advice, but I did want to offer my admiration and a cyber hug. I've read a lot of your posts over the last few days and you've been through so much. You are fighting for your son and it sounds like he is in the best place possible for him right now. Hope that you can take some time out just for yourself and let go of all the worry and fear for an hour or two. I know firsthand how hard that is, but you need it.

Take care of yourself! *hugs*

 

[Liahona]

I admire you as well Buddy Dee. You are a great mom. Right now I wish I had your patience.

 

[rejectedmom]

Buddy, I know that it is very simplistic and I do not mean to offend but could you maybe wear a sign around you neck when you visit that says something like "Mommies are for hugging not hurting." I found with my aspie boys when they were young that they needed multi senory approaches to problems. The more sences addressed the quicker they learned the lesson. Maybe if he sees it in writting as well as being told verbally he will get unstuck quicker? -RM

 

[Liahona]

Or a picture of a hug?

 

[buddy]

think I'm still too new here to this process and learning myself to offer any advice, but I did want to offer my admiration and a cyber hug. I've read a lot of your posts over the last few days and you've been through so much. You are fighting for your son and it sounds like he is in the best place possible for him right now. Hope that you can take some time out just for yourself and let go of all the worry and fear for an hour or two. I know firsthand how hard that is, but you need it.

Thanks so much. Glad you are sticking with us. I really want to, but it started to hit me so much last night just how much I simply MISS him. I miss our life, I miss his hugs, I miss even his arguments. I just miss being his everyday normal mom. You will all have to remind me of that when I start getting calls from school again.

 

[hearts and roses]

Buddy, what a positive post, thanks so much for the update. I'm glad you're comfortable with the team and that they are listening to YOU. What a relief that is for you (and all parents) when the so called experts listen to the caregiver/parent/guardian...aka...the one who knows the child best!

You have that mommy 6th sense, so glad you listen to it. Big hugs, I hope he doesn't have to miss Halloween either.