To Timer Lady...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ThreeShadows, Jan 28, 2009.

  1. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I would like to thank you for posting the memorial to your husband. It helped me to understand the cultural differences which have created hurt feelings in my bi-continental family. My half sister (dual citizenship France/USA) was furious at me for not crossing the Atlantic to attend our father's funeral.

    Half sister just died in her sleep the same day as your husband. Her spouse has been deluging me with pictures of her grave, covered in flowers. It's gruesome, but now I understand that there seems to be some type of celebration of death in Europe, whereas you have shown me that a LIFE is to be celebrated even when it has gone! That is truly a gift you have given me.
  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    3 shadows.......I always have avoided every funeral I have been asked to attend. I did not want to be a part of celebrating death, as it seemed to me at the time. I so understand.

    However, my sister's memorial, was undoubtedly the most beautiful thing I have ever attended. I could feel her whole face radiating down on me, the entire time. We showed slides of her life, we read poems, we read essays - and then we all just commenced to sitting at tables, drinking wine, and telling stories of H and her life. I literally felt as if she was right there with me. I got to sit with her friends I had never met, and talk to them, as if I was her - I saw long lost friends of mine that I had not seen in 30 years - I bonded with some of my family I rarely talk to - it was healing in every sense of the word. I would give a large amount of money to be able to do that all over again - just because it was so filled with love. I was surrounded by everybody that truly loved my sister, and I could feel it. I was literally saturated in it. It was like nothing I have ever experienced.

    So, I understand both sides of the coin. It all depends on who and how things are done when a person passes. I am sorry your half sister has died, perhaps you can find your own inspiration to have a ceremony of your own for her.

  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I am so sorry for the loss of your half-sister! :(
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    You are welcome. I'm glad that sharing husband's memorial could help you.

    I have been raised to believe in celebrating the life that has passed; to share the memories. We must grieve together, share memories, laugh & cry together & ultimately heal together.

    There are feelings of sadness & grief; there will be for a long while I expect. However, I smile when I watch husband's memorial ~ there may be tears in my eyes but I smile.

    I hope you can find a memory that will make you smile everytime you think of your half sister. I'm very sorry for your loss.