Too trusting!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Terryforvols, Jan 19, 2014.

  1. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

    I first have a stupid ???? I have just gotten a new anroid smart phone and used the app but couldnt see how to start a new thread with the app. Am i missing something????? I am phone illiterate!

    Anyway husband and i trusted difficult child and have pd the price! I take chronic pain medications and have for 13 yrs morphine and oxycodone low doses. I have crohn's disease plus have had 2 back surg. I have 00 problems unless difficult child here of course! When she arrived in dec i took them to work and hid in my office and 0 issues. I am off for next 2 wks bc boss is gone and i had to bring home. husband hid in a "safe" place so we thought. Of course there was 1 unbelievable way husband said wld be impossible to get them and bc husband is not as paranoid as me abt my medications he did not count them daily bc only he had keys!!!!!! :( :( Guess what???? This a.m. i only have 35 morph left from 60 that i got filled 1/14/14 AND 17 oxy from an rx of 120!!!! that got filled on 1/10/14!!! And you know difficult child ABSOLUTELY didnt take them! Right!!!! She has been trying to get into a detox prog and then a 30 day prog until back to texas and jail but no beds! We had been told by detox "unofficially" that we cld give her a small dose of oxy daily to keep her from getting too sick and worse while waiting for a bed. She has still been somewhat sick etc but manageable for us. Worked great while pills at wk but husband is not as paranoid abt my medications as i am and didnt count daily!!! :( while at home!!!! Am as mad at us as her. Just crying and venting! I am an idiot!
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2014
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. I am soooooooooo sorry your trust was betrayed by your daughter. You are not alone. Obviously your daughter has a drug problem and is probably both taking and selling the drugs (it kind of goes together).

    Can you tell us more about her? Is she living at home? Did you call the police? I think you need to because if you run out of your medications early, you could be accused of misusing your own medication.

    Your daughter is 25, meaning she is well along the path of being an adult. She is no longer your young child that you have to protect. It seems now you need protection from her. You have some serious health issues. Crohns, which my brother has had since age twelve, almost killed him, although he is doing well now. He does get flare ups when stressed. Maybe he was smart...he decided not to marry and have :) A sad joke, really.

    You also do not need stress for your back. You deserve to have a healthy and peaceful rest-of-your-life because you matter and many people care about you. It's not just about your daughter. Have you read the article on detachment?

    Many, many hugs for your hurting mommy heart...hoping you can detach enough from this adult child to live those wonderful golden years happily enjoying yourself, with your daughter owning her own drama and problems. You can not make her go to rehab. That is 100% her own decision. Don't waste your time begging...let her come to her own decision. To get help detaching, I highly recommend either Nar-Anon (face time support) or a therapist of your own who is focused on YOUR well-being, not your daughter's. Do not try to brave this alone and do not think that you have to suffer because your daughter is making criminal decisions. You are NOT her. She is NOT you.
  3. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

    She is 29 now and lives in texas not in tn. She ks with us to be safe until she can be jailed in tx without bail. It is a VERY long story but she has now violated a felony problem and WHENEVER all the paperwk is done from the violation that occurred in a diff county where her probation is she will be unable to get bond. You have NO idea what i have done to keep her jailed!!! Her po knows she is with us and believes she needs rehab not jail. We are hoping her confinement will be treatment even prison treat bc she did great in 2005 in long term Residential Treatment Center (RTC). We have been told "justice is slow" but they Williamson co (Austin) dont even have the info from the small co where she violated at Tgiving!!!! We dont want her back in jail till no bond bc she has ways to get out and will disappear this time and die! Jail is better than that! I will be calling my md monday. I cld be discharged bc of this but luckly i called them when she arrived and told them i was hiding medication at work. Shd be ok but.......
  4. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

  5. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

    Oh i have a therapist :) :)
  6. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

    Just so sad bc she has been faithfully taking prozac and trazadone while here and her mental status has improved. We had not seen her in a year and a half. I have been basically detached since then other than getting her jailed last summer and trying to keep her jailed in Nov! It took me awhile to do that but i did! husband....went kicking and screaming but finally realized the lying was too much! His baby girl! We have a son with his pHD so maybe Im not so bad!!!
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Your daughter's choices don't mean you were a bad mom. Something about her genetic makeup and probably her friends and environment outside the home...don't blame yourself.

    At her age, the only one who can stop her from using is herself. You'd be amazed how resourceful our adult kids are. Most of them manage to survive. At any rate, ony she can decide to change her life.
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You are not an idiot or a bad parent. MWM Is right, your adult daughter's choices are not your fault. For future reference I would get a combination lock safe, I bought one at office max that was relatively inexpensive. I put everything in there that I didn't want difficult child to get and when it was completely filled I bought a second one. There was no way she could guess the combo.

    I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope your daughter gets into a treatment program. Jail will not fix this.
  9. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

    You are right Nancy jail will do nothing will repeat same behaviors! Treatment is her only hope and the longer the better! It will have to be paid by the state or in jail bc we used our retirement $$$ for long term Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in 2005! That tree is dead!
  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    In hear you a Terry. We spent her college money on a treatment center in 2010.
  11. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Jail doesn't fix it I agree...however a couple of months in jail, and knowing that he would go back if he doesn't stay in treatment can be a strong motivator!

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  12. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I have to disagree. Jail completely changed my daughter. Rehabs did nothing for her...

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