update on difficult child

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mog, Jun 13, 2012.

  1. mog

    mog Member

    Well it has been really hard -as you know I finally had to have difficult child removed from my house but have been feeling really guilty and still helping him as much as I can. I bought him a bus pass and he forgot it on the bus (UGH!!!) so I told he he was going to have to suck it up and walk because I did not have the money for another one until 2 wks later. He had been texting me hateful things and calling all kinds of things. You know the routine and I just kept telling him I Love You but I am not going to let you bully us around anymore. He had been staying with friends but then called and said that his friend was going to jail and the girlfriend had to move in with her mom so he had no where to go. I told him he should find another friend and he said he didn't have any that would let him stay there long term. I felt bad I cried then he asked if he could come get some things so i said yes. I picked him up and brought him to the house, fed him and then took him down the hill. I asked him so where do i take you and he said the bus stop.He was polite and nice while he was here and we had a good conversation. When I dropped him off, I asked so now where are you going -he said no where this is where i am living now, it broke my heart and I cried alll the way home but he said "It is what it is" Later that night he text me and told me that he had found this little hide away under some trees next to the apartment complex next to the bus stop and that he was watching the stars like we used to do when he was little. I worried all night -did not sleep but he did not anwer his phone the rest of the night. He was talking to me more and more and I was glad that I could at least hear his voice that me me feel a little better. I took him to the movie and dinner another day and then he would leave or ask me to drop him off at the bus stop. I went several times to the stop to see if I could see him actually "living there" but th en one day he asked if he could come do some laundry and take a shower and IF husband could take him to court to get his fine changed to community service. I said yes and brought him home for the night -- husband took him to court and then brought him back home and he did some "cleaning" then when i got home he asked me to take him back to the bus. I asked if he was ok and he said that it was best for him to leave because he did not want to fight with husband anymore. He said that living at the bus is better than arguing with husband everyday and then husband dragging me into it. Broke my heart but i took him back.
    Since then he met a young man on the bus that introduced him to a pastor ( not of our denomination but that is ok). This man is letting him stay there, helping him do his community service, has him feeding the homeless, praying again and he has someone to talk to about the "issues" he is going threw and yesterday difficult child told me he got a job. I bought him another bus pass to get around and he took his bike. I had almost given in and brought him home but I stayed strong and it looks like difficult child is starting to get it together.
    He seems happy and excited. He is talking again about future plans -I am so thankful for this random "man" on the bus but in my heart I know that it was God leading him back to him. I prayed so hard for that.
  2. llamafarm

    llamafarm Member

    I hope your difficult child does well with his "gift from God" in the form of the man on the bus and the pastor. It is great to hear there is a happiness about the future. Remember this time when things seem rough. Know that there are good times between the difficult.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    What a brave mom to stick to the plan for his future...sounds like you did the right thing. I am sure there will be set backs but he has learned he can do it, a lesson you can't unlearn. HUGS! Thanks for the update.
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I can feel your mother's heart crying and I applaud you for sticking to your guns even though it was so very hard for you. That is love and strength if I ever heard it. You are doing such a good job. Your prayers were answered. Hugs to you.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That is what tough love is. It is tough and you have to do it. Your son just showed you that when push comes to shove that he can do what he has to do. good for him and for you for standing strong.
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I can feel your heart crying too. This is the hardest thing for a parent to have to do. We made out daughter leave our home two years ago and we got those texts that she had nowhere to go also. It tore my heart out and yet I knew I couldn't let her come back. You are doing the right thing and hopefully your difficult child will learn from this experience.

    Hugs for you and your breaking heart,