So, anyway, the kids and I are still in the house and husband has agreed to letting that go. As for Medicaid, I'm not going to use it. I've found out that if you own your own home, they can actually take it when your on your death bed to pay back Medicaid & I'd rather leave the house to the kids someday. Instead, husband has agreed to pay all the blue-cross co-pays etc... Meanwhile, the utilities are being switched to my name, but the house is staying as is, since technically we are letting the KIDS keep the house & as their caregiver, I stay too. It doesn't make any sense to uproot the kids and it would be very traumatic. So instead of saying it's my house or husband's house, it's the KIDS house. DDS13 is now in school half day, I have to get it to full day so I can actually work. I'm not thrilled about the food stamps, but it is what it is. Once I start working, child support + paycheck, we should be just fine. We're turning of satellite, don't really need it. We watch most of our movies through the xbox or ps3 internet connection. So what do I need it for? Yahoo or Google gives me the news. We're going bare minimum (which I'm used to anyway, husband didn't give me money when he DID live here, so who cares). I don't have much work experience, US ARMY....don't know anyone hiring for military skills. I did work in petcare for a while and started college for special education, later switching to anatomy, but didn't finish, I got pregnant with DS13 and decided to stay home. Which is pretty much where I've been for 13 years. I'm trying to wrap my brain around the fact that after 16 years with husband I don't have my OWN anything! No bank account, credit cards...NADA! So, tomorrow after my dd11 leaves for camp with school, I'm going to open an account. My moms helping me (did I mention how much I LOVE my mother???) BUT little things are still irritating. husband is still trying to control a lot over the phone. Degrading my choices etc....and I feel VERY stupid because I am still questioning myself over dumb stuff, like somehow he's going to get mad at me if I don't do it right even though he no longer lives here!