Visit to sons' town


There was a festival in my son's town today. He text the other day to see if he could have the TV in his room for his and girlfriend's place. I've been trying to get him to get me his tax info from last year so I could fill out FASFA. So I told him he could have it when he brought me the tax info. Anyway son has not told me where he lives. I do know where it is but had never seen it. (My husband is a policeman and we found out.) Son doesn't know we know. Anyway I let him know we are at the festival and he says he and girlfriend are coming to festival.( They live about 25 miles from me) We are getting ready to leave festival and I text and ask if he is there and where he is. He is sitting on a bench next to girlfriend when I find him. He hugs me. We talk a bit and I notice his neck on the side next to girlfriend has 3 large hickeys on it. Looks like they rubbed some kind of makeup on it to cover it. I didn't get what it was at first and I say, "What's wrong with your neck?" He turns bad side away from me while girlfriend looks down smiling. He says Oh it's broke out. I finally catch on and shut up. My husband and I then left and took the opportunity to do a ride by of their trailer while they were at the festival. Husband lovingly gave me a big lecture about how I need to quit doing everything for him like doing the Fasfa. He said let him not have the money for school. Quit chasing him down for things. We talked about how he was growing up and this drug use. Husband has been around since son was 11. I said I always thought he was a more nervous and anxious kid than my other one. He was obssessed with body image and getting a six pack. My husband said he just couldn't commit to anything and he was amazed he has to this girl. He would want to start an activity. Couldn't get enough of it. Usually some form of martial arts or boxing or wrestling. Then loose interest after a couple of months into and regret signing up or want to quit. He also suffered with migraines since age 5. His brother is complete opposite. He is number one in his junior class, junior class president. You have to try to get him not to overdo. Anyway, I found myself wondering if any of your difficult kids' childhoods sounded like my difficult child.


Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
My son will be 18 This month. He has never been able to commit to anything. He has always had a huge paralytic fear of failure. So much so that he gives in before even putting any effort forward.
Sports, school, music, were all the same. Now with the drug use he is listless and lethargic and half asses everything. He has severe codependent relationships with girls.


Well-Known Member
same here.

no commitments. no effort.

history severe anxiety.

loved martial arts. enough to get himself to brazil. alone. changed age 19 or 20.

body image issues. (he is gorgeous. obsessed with receding hairline.)

half ass. have to stay on him.

i am the same. billie. do too much. always trying to solve. to lead.