Was "Hopeless" then "furious" now I am at "padded room status"!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by ksm, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Our court date was this morning... Was Difficult Child there????? Nope. Took off last night and never came home. Played her little games with us and even a couple friends trying to get her to come home.

    There is a pick up order for her. She will be held this time. Gee...why didn't they think of that the FIRST time??? Or the SECOND??? Technically, in the last three years this is probably number 6.

    I checked her texting app on my computer last night before I called police. Didn't see anything. Of course she uses social media mostly and not phone. I did see a text this morning. Someone texted her at 1:51am and said "me and Dimitri are on the way". Unfortunately, Dimitri is the grandson of our close friend, who has been living with her for 3 or 4 years. His mom is in Europe and her estranged husband is in the Middle East with an oil company.

    A couple weeks ago I told the grandma to tell her grandson that we did not want him to give her any rides to any where. If it was an emergency, he could bring her only to our home. Now I have had to give the police that info...so I am sure this 82yo grandma will be having the police show up.

    I first asked her not to say anything to Dmitri...but then, after I had given the number to the police, I texted her that she can do with the info what she thinks best for her and her grandson, and I would have to do the same for our granddaughter.

    Not fun...

    Ksm
     
  2. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Well...she may be making the decisions for her future herself. Now she can deal with the circumstances.

    Sorry for this..but she will soon be someones else issue...how can yo handle it all..you cant.

    breathe...this is a stressful time, but give it to a higher power, u have done what u can.
     
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    And she is still not home...

    I was finally able to sleep some last night. One of her friends was willing to go with us and pointed out a couple houses she had been at when she was gone before.while we were driving down that block, her friend saw several people walking out of the house and getting in to a pickup.

    Her friend didn't want them to see her so she ducked down. We followed the pick up for 10 or 12 blocks while it tried to evade us, turning on every intersection. We finally got close enough to read the tag number and stopped following.

    Later I called the police and gave them the address and tag number and a couple more names of kids that she is supposedly hanging with.

    Today, I am getting a massage... 90 minutes of bliss...

    Trying to cope. But it's hard.

    Ksm
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

  5. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    KSM

    Wow she is really raising hell!! Glad you are getting a massage.
     
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  6. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    So sorry for this hell your in...yes, take care of yourself.
     
  7. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Today's update. I decided to call a private investigator to get help in finding her. I have three or four names of Facebook friends that I've been told are helping her. I have three addresses where these people hang out at and a tag number of the vehicle she was in.

    It doesn't seem like the police are doing much or even keeping in touch with me. But I couldn't find any private investigators in our town. And it would be too costly for one who is out of town quite a ways.

    So then I thought who else is good at finding people who don't want to be found? And I called a bail bondsman's officeand even though he said that usually they don't do that, he had a soft spot for missing teens and had me come right down to his office.

    I showed him four or five Facebook friends pages, addresses, phone numbers and the tag number. He had two other big burly male associates there that were willing to help. The sad thing is they knew most of the people that were connected to who is helping hide her.

    He said they wouldn't even charge me but would welcome food from a local barbecue place. I don't know if they made any calls yet. But they did get permission from the police to hunt for her. They were told if they find her they have to call the police to have her transported.

    Luckily my daughter texted me a few hours ago and it sounds like she's willing to let her father pick her up because she wants to talk to him before she goes in to the detention center. Because she's afraid it might be a while before she sees her dad. He has battled his own addiction to meth about 10 years ago.

    I was also told if she would send me a picture of herself and I forward it to them that they can use the information embedded in the photo to find her. She did just send me one and I forwarded it and I'm hoping this works.

    if she contacts her dad and arranges to be picked up, I will wait. If not, I hope by then the guy has info from the photo...

    Ksm
     
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    Last edited: Feb 8, 2017
  8. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Good.
    This was absolutely brilliant.

    Actually, ksm, given everything I do not think this is necessarily a bad development, that the law will be forced to detain and hold her. She has defied you at every turn. She is out of control and hurting herself badly, associating with seriously destructive *or destroyed people.

    You will get a rest. She will be safe and contained. She will be accountable. This is the result you had wanted, I think.
     
  9. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    You are brilliant...good job!
     
  10. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Mof and Copabanana...

    Ksm
     
  11. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Still not turned herself in... She had said she would let her dad (my son) pick her up and take her to Juvenile detention...but then she didn't.

    The photo/selfie that she sent me had been edited...so the guy said it couldn't be traced to her location.

    The bail bondsmen said they would work on this this morning...

    Oh, the one other thing I have done...I got a new texting app, which gives me a new phone number that she wouldn't recognize, and texting the two friends who she might be with. The female isn't responding. But the guy is. I just checked it...and he texted me "who tf is this ?" I think he is suffering from paranoia now...

    Ksm
     
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry that she is running like this. I hope the courts actually follow through and hold her, rather than letting her go and telling her not to do it again. I am rather sick of the way the courts treat children. They waste effort and energy on stupid things but when a parent truly wants and needs help with a child, well, then they cannot do anything or even be bothered.

    Your granddau is so lucky to have someone who clearly loves her so much in her life. Contacting the bail bondsmen was brilliant, in my opinion. I don't know if I would have ever thought of that. :bravo:
     
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  13. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Ksm..you could have a hidden talent for private investigator!!!! A career path!
     
  14. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    KSM

    Sounds like you're really on the ball with this. So happy you found those wonderful men to help you. That is amazing. It's crazy how resourceful we get isn't it??

    You can write a book when this is over. Geesh.
     
  15. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    On my anonymous texting app...I sent the guy who has been giving her meth a copy of a state law, showing its a felony to harbor a missing teen, or contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

    He texted back that he was going to call the police for harassment. I texted him to do it. That he sounded paranoid. Asked if he "meth much?"

    Then deleted that app, down loaded a different app. Different texting number... And texted..."I'm just mething with you!"

    Ksm
     
  16. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I am going to "meth" with him for a long time. He shouldn't have methed with my child.

    Ksm
     
  17. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    The bail bondsman called. They talked to one of the girls...who denied that she had been with her. Then she texted daughter and told her she was getting harassed, and daughter texted that she would be going home soon.

    Then that girl screenshot it and sent the copy to the bondsman...

    I hope these people will be too scared to have contact with daughter in the future.

    Ksm
     
  18. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    They'll be afraid of crazy grandma!

    I'm just kidding. They make us crazy!! But if they think that, it's great.
    :faint:
     
  19. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Brilliant. And the journey continues...
     
  20. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This reminds me of a television show. Brilliant!!! Hope this scares everyone in yo your daughters negative peer group.