Well so much for hope.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Sep 15, 2010.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Wee had a good day today, until a brief incident in which he slapped the SpEd teacher on the hand.

    So, now...in light of yesterday's kicking, and today's "slap", the principal has decided to suspend him AND notify the police because he has assaulted her staff.

    But its different this year. Because "he gets it". "He doesn't want to miss school tomorrow". "He understands that his teacher is trying to help him, so this is an appropriate punishment."

    Words can not even begin to express my anger. How dare I hope that something might change.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I. am. LIVID!

    How can they involve the POLICE? Come on - it was a SLAP on the HAND.

    What did SpEd say?!
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I haven't talked to her yet. They were suppoosed to send the incident report home with grandma and didn't. I'm on my way in.

    It had DAMN WELL BETTER point out the adults screw ups yesterday...I have a feeling I will be running around this afternoon.
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    One step forward and eight steps back (on the adults part in the situation). They are bafoons!
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I got the incident reports. They are pretty lame. I have detailed an email to the SpEd teacher, outlining what she told me on the phone yesterday and asked her to confirm or correct it.

    I went to the police. A) this is not a safe schools violation because he's a sped kid and it did not involve another student. The school CAN file a police report, which will then be sent to juvie, but not on the grounds of safe schools. B) The officer said juvie wouldn't touch it, because he's a sped kid who slapped his para - NOT assault. and C) they have never received one report on him, yet how many times have they cited "safe school violation" to suspend him? They checked the file. not one. If there is an incident of physical aggression and he was reprimanded for it under safe schools, they had to report it. They did not. Not once.

    The officer used to work at the alternative school in the next district. He confirmed they do take kids outside the district and will speak to the administration about sending Wee out of district as opposed to revisiting overused and over-abused and non-working tactics with him again this year.

    I went to SpEd Director and told her that I KNEW the handbook had a policy that allowed to administrators to review a situation in its entire context and gave them an "out" for not implementing the "mandatory" suspension. In Wee's case, suspension is not mandatory, and I told them all that I know that. I told her I was appealing the suspension, based on that administrative privilage and based on the fact that what happened yesterday, which is partly why Wee is being suspended, was NOT Wee's fault (if what I was told was accurate). I told her that Wee was told about police contact, which I thought was highly inappropriate, and that I was NOT tolerating this again this year. I also told her if they can not educate him, they need to find someone/someplace that can. I pointed out that once he reaches 10 days, they will not be able to send him out, so why not figure out a way that works now, instead of later. And I reminded her that their own attorney said it did no good to send him out of school.
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Shari, I'm sorry.

    I thought things would be better this year, but apparently they're not.

    Hugs to you.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    OMG. Jerk.
    Well, I'm glad you talked to the police and got the straight skinny.
    But you still have to go through the motions.
    Many hugs.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, Shari. Guess the school didn't learn as much as you hoped they had. Hugs to you and Wee.
  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    such bs, now give me a 17 year old who is kicking and slapping and maybe just maybe and even than it wouldn't work because he was set off by that teacher yesterday. they are clueless there truly. morons is all i can say.

    (((good luck))))
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    How disappointing. I had real hopes for things working out better for Wee this year. I hope they can get him in the alternative school. Mainstream turns things over to police more and more it seems. They have been doing that here for years and it was the beginning of my son's end- starting in 5th grade- but they had been threatening it for years before that.
  11. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Wasn't it you that was doing that shooting and riding? Hmmmm, maybe and invite to the principal to watch a demonstration and then have someone slap YOUR hand at a critical moment...hmmmmmm.

    Sorry your going through this with lil' wee! My teeth are grinding on this one!

  12. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    Shari I still have hope this will work out. Hopefully the school is having a relapse, like testing to see if the old behavior still works. Kind of like a toddler or better yet, a difficult child. A big old difficult child in diapers.

    I have faith in all the work you did, and in the way you are insisting that you won't tolerate this treatment of Wee which, by the way, sounds pretty medieval.

    You must be exhausted. It's unbelievable, shocking, how much vigilance it takes. I know what that's like -- we all do I'm sure. When I was advocating for gfg17, and to some extent gfg13, I had to come to grips with the fact that I could never let my guard down. That was disheartening. Get some rest. Also the rage I felt at how my difficult child was being treated was quite debilitating for me. There were times when rage would just overcome me, like while driving in the car or something, or while grocery shopping. Take care of yourself.

  13. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I talked to the advocates. She has suggested an emergency IEP meeting, and point out the ongoing fba and the outside agency that may or may not be involved in said fba...and not allow Wee to return UNTIL that agency is for certain in the house.

    I think that's a good plan.

    I am also thinking about calling THEIR attorney.
  14. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Without a doubt, follow up with him. Sounds like he could really be a huge help here. Woohoo!
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    What kind of idiots are they paying to run this school??? Calling the POLICE because a child slaps someone on the hand AFTER they instigated conflict (I am quite sure that whatever happened, someone other than Wee instigated and gave him more than he dished out.

    I hope the idiot who filed the report and asked for assault charges to be filed gets a HUGE lecture on the appropriate use of police personnel and time, and is told in NO uncertain terms that the courts will do NOTHING to the child.

    In the meantime, are you searching for an educational attorney so that you can sue the underpants off these people and Wee can go to a school designed to help him. At this point, you know they claimed many safe school violations and did not file a single report with the authorities, and that they have used the police as a threat (which could have the nasty side effect of making Wee afraid of the police -vwhich makes him incredibly vulnerable to any and everyone who ever thinks about hurting him), when the staff's behavior is creating the problems, not helping Wee learn how to cope. It seems like this is proof that they have NO intent to make real changes, and this will deprive Wee of yet another year of education because they won't make changes.

    Even if you choose not to sue at this time, an attorney can help you work to try to get Wee into the alternative school or any other school where there will be people who will try to help him and educate him. So many schools make life so unnecessarily hard, scary, and awful for the students. I SOOO wish that Wee was given a real chance. He is just not able to do what they want. It isn't an excuse to try to terrorize him into "good" behavior by threatening him with police action.

    I am so sorry. Now you know you will NEED to check the IEP in a few days or maybe 2-3 weeks. It will be interesting to find out if they have added or removed anything from the agreed upon IEP.
  16. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    While that might be good, what status are they going to say Wee is in during that period? Suspension or you witholding him from school or homebound?
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I continue to be amazed by your school and not at all in a good way!! I remember when my difficult child was in 4th grade and was suspended for three days because he slapped a Special Education teacher who got in his space and insisted he take a break (which was against his bip). Shortly thereafter we had a meeting with a district head of Special Education (that the Special Education teacher invited). The head person agreed with us and his iep was revamped in a much better way. However, even my district wouldn't even think of calling the police for such an incident. Sending empathetic hugs your way.
  18. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I'm not sure I care. Let them turn me in for educational neglect...I almost dare them...
  19. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Yeah, that's why I'm thinking about calling the lawyer. Actually, I'm planning to call their lawyer.
  20. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, if they can't educate him at school, in my humble opinion, they should have an emergency IEP meeting and foot the bill for a homebound instructor during this period- don't let them turn this around on you. It's just one more thing.