Went right over her head . . .

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Kathy813, Mar 29, 2012.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We have had a peaceful week with difficult child. After last week's drama, she went back to work on Tuesday and hasn't been asking us for anything. She texted me on Tuesday night saying that she stood up for herself and had a long talk with the manager and they agreed to keep her at 35 hours a week and take turns opening and closing the salon. She said that she thought that the manager respected her for handling her complaints in an adult way.

    The next night, easy child called and said that difficult child had called her (which is very unusual) and they talked for a while. difficult child said that she was sorry for the things she had done to easy child over the years and wanted to go out to dinner with easy child. She even said that she would pay since she was working now. easy child said that difficult child actually sounded "rational" for the first time. I told easy child that I thought it would be great if they could build up a sisterly relationship but to be cautious. easy child said, "Mom, I will always be cautious around difficult child."

    Then, today, difficult child called to ask me to pay her phone bill that was due today. She said she would pay me back when she got her paycheck on Saturday. I figured that I would actually get the money this time because I could just not pay her rent if she renegged.

    But now for the humorous part . . . difficult child was talking about the manager and how "crazy" he was. She said he went off on a tirade this morning about her smoking because he hates the way cigarettes smell (and coffee, too, which is why they can't have coffee in the salon). He told difficult child that he wouldn't have hired her if he knew that she smoked. However, later, as difficult child was leaving, he went on and on about how great she is doing and how they made a great team.

    difficult child complained that he is up and down. I said, "Yes, it is hard to be around someone like that." It went right over her head and she kept going on about how hard it is when someone's mood is constantly changing.


    On a good note, the salon that is close to my house responded to my email about difficult child looking for an assistant position. The owner replied that she is looking for a personal assistant and wants difficult child to come in for a tour this Sunday and then come back for an interview.

    It will be interesting to watch what difficult child does with this paycheck. It will be for over $700. Her original plan was to give us $500 to put in the bank for her. I doubt she will follow through.

  2. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest


    Sounds like she is making real progress with your easy child. That's amazing!

    Celebrating progress and hoping the money issues improve.
  3. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    Kathy: I'm glad that you had a peaceful week with your difficult child. We can really appreciate those calm weeks, because of all the turmoil that difficult child's bring to our lives. I will be sending good wishes to your difficult child at her job interview this week-end.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Wow, I am sure there are mistakes to come, but this week of progress can never be taken away. Every day of feeling more confident and being an adult will pay off. You must feel really proud of her. (I am sure it is cautious optimism) When our kids make progress it is like they earned their PhD to me. A really big deal.

    Hope the upward trend continues..... I'm happy for easy child too.
  5. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Too funny that difficult child can't recognise the obvious truths about herself when she see's it in someone else.
    But, maybe she thinks she is "above that kind of behavior" "outgrown" it, hmm.

    I am glad to hear that your difficult child is reaching out to her lil sis. I am also glad to hear that your easy child daughter remains cautious. Sounds SO MUCH like my easy child daughter where my young difficult child is concerned as young difficult child could be very verbally malicious when my easy child was a teenager. They don't forget, nor should they really...I am sure it has shaped my easy child to a degree as well as yours.

    For now I hope your difficult child will keep making personal progress...it really does "look" like she is trying.
  6. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Well this is promising Kathy. I hope she is at least responsible with the money and puts a little away so she can have a nest egg.