What are the right discipline measures in school?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rachelfran, Dec 9, 2009.

  1. rachelfran

    rachelfran New Member

    Yesterday my son spent most of the day sitting in the school's office - having been punished for something ... I heard it from him -not his teacher so I don't have the whole story...

    Regardless of what he did - I can't imagine having to sit out the whole day or almost the whole day of school in an office - with nothing to do .. no school work, no reading and noone to talk to .. He said that noone sat down with him to discuss what happened or explain the reason for the punishment --whether severe or not.

    Obviously this is wrong and I'm writing the school to demand an FBA - which they have not done. The Principal wants me to come in and discuss these issues with my son -- he called before this latest event..

    My question is -- what are acceptable discipline measures when a child acts out or is oppositional in class? My son is adhd/aspergers and we are working towards getting the right therapies in place and possible medications -- but until all that happens -- he is distracted, impulsive and can be oppositional in class -- all symptoms of both diagnoses -- So while I understand he may not control these behaviors -- what can the school, realistically do when he exhibits these behavoirs?

    I'm trying to think of what I can suggest to the principal when he says -- what would you suggest we do?

    As an aside, I am trying to get him out of the school because I believe with every fiber of my being that this particular principal doesn't believe in "special needs" or that my son might not be able to control these behaviors himself.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Well, that can be an appropriate punishment if it teaches the child to behave. But for our kids, it is mostly a waste of time. Does your son have an IEP?
  3. rachelfran

    rachelfran New Member

    yes - but our diagnosis is new and it is not updated on the IEP ... I have to send the school & the district copies of our new evaluations and set up an IEP review.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It is very important, in my opinion, when you have a difficult child that has behavior issues at school, to have a good BIP in place. That requires a really insightful FBA. You, as his mother, should have some suggestions for what works with your son. What consequences and what rewards and incentives are productive. This doesn't mean that he will always act appropriately, but it hopefully means that he will begin to self modulate, lessen the frequency and severity of times intervention is called for.

    Whether the principal buys into the diagnosis or the idea of special needs is of no matter. The law requires the school to provide your son the same opportunities as their "typical' students.

    I would suggest you sit down and speak with difficult child's therapist or psychiatrist for some recommendations on in school consequences. Unfortunately, inschool suspension is about what your difficult child had - perhaps they didn't call it that but.....

    When my difficult child was in elementary school and needed that time away from the classroom, the principal and asst principal made sure the teachers provided him with work to do when he was in the office or the principal's office. It wasn't going to sit and twiddle his thumbs. That may be one thing you should ask happens when he is pulled out.

    You haven't done a signature yet so I can't remember how old your difficult child is. Please take the time to do that because, with so many members, it's difficult for us to remember the individual situations. His age has a lot to do with what consequences are appropriate.

    Go online to wrightslaw.com - they have some great suggestions for IEPs and FBAs for kids with discipline issues. Also ldonline.com and specialed.us (that site is specific to Wisconsin, but has generic info as well) are great sources of general information and suggestions for his IEP. Research, research, research.

    Make sure your request for an FBA is sent certified letter. Find out how long your state law dictates the school has to respond and reference that in the letter. I would also indicate in that letter that you will be bringing his new evaluation and diagnosis papers. Also request a copy of an FBA for you to fill out prior to the meeting. It will give you extra time to really give the questions some thought.

    Good luck.

  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    The book Lost At School by Ross Greene has great ideas for effective discipline in school.
  6. rachelfran

    rachelfran New Member

    Thanks for all the advice so far!
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I second JJJ's recommendation of Lost in School - it's a great book!
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    It sounds as if the school is doing a version of a "time out"...

    It is hard to say whether a Time Out is appropriate or not.
  9. rachelfran

    rachelfran New Member

    a time out is generally minutes at a time - and even then you talk about what happened with the child, no?

    according to my son this was hours - though i need to confirm it with the school
  10. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    It does sound like you need a bit more information. I agree that a Time Out period lasting "hours" is way too long for an eight year old.
  11. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Besides the fact that your son is missing essential school work/class time while he is sitting in the office. How is he going to learn if he isn't in the class?