what do you think

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tbidaughter, Nov 22, 2017.

  1. tbidaughter

    tbidaughter just tired and fed up

    should i write a letter to judge with past history and current status of my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) daughter along with the facts she refuses help of all kinds
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Right now, I don't think you can get her out of the jail. I think you could contact the person in charge of the jail, either the sheriff or the warden or whatever the person's title is, and let them know her mental and physical challenges. Ask that she be evaluated by their medical staff. If she is normally on any medication for side effects of the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), take that information (NOT THE MEDICATION) to the jail. They may not be able to give you any information about her, but you should be able to give them information.

    Sadly, the largest provider of mental health care in this US is the jail/prison system. They are probably more equipped to handle her than most other places. If she acts as if she is mentally unbalanced, they will know how to handle her most likely.
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My daughter spent some time in jail and at one point, I did write the judge a letter stating the circumstances of her condition. It made a difference. I would write the letter. State the facts, be as detailed as you can. It'll get to the judge and at least he/she will understand the full magnitude of your daughter's issues.

    Take care of YOU too. Nourish yourself.
  4. tbidaughter

    tbidaughter just tired and fed up

    its thanksgiving and i spent the day with my mom and her boyfriend family. i feel very lost at time being and very much alone. my daughter and her Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) has suffocated me now since may and i dont know how to get back to happier. i do have an appointment with theraposy in dec. i need help through this all. i just feel empty.
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), you've been thru a tsunami of devastating events, anyone in your shoes would feel as you do. Your responses are normal. You've been depleted from the intensity of the onslaught of an emotional hurricane, it is essential that you take care of yourself now. While your daughter is in jail, I strongly encourage you to start building your strength back......every day do nurturing and kind things for yourself. Reach out to your friends and your support system. Going to therapy is an excellent choice.

    This is a fairly common experience for us parents, often we are so intensely focused on our difficult children's issues for so long we have forgotten how to take care of ourselves. We have to relearn how to nourish ourselves. Begin to focus your attention on yourself and what it is that you need, what makes you happy, what brings you peace. You have to fill yourself up now.

    Another option you might consider is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. (I can't recall if we've discussed NAMI or not) They have chapters in most cities and can be accessed on line. Many of us here have taken their parent courses which can offer you guidance, information, support and resources. If it feels right, give them a call.

    What I had to do when my daughter went off the rails was to prioritize my own needs, to put myself in as many supportive environments as I could, to re-learn how to have compassion for myself, to be very kind to myself, to learn how to accept what I can't change and to stay planted in the present moment as opposed to rummaging thru the past or tripping into the future.

    Books by Pema Chodron helped me. She teaches how to live in uncertainty and chaos.

    You're in a crummy place right now, your daughter's choices have been catastrophic and they've dragged you down the rabbit hole.......now it's time for you to pull yourself back out and begin to thrive.

    Make yourself the priority now, one step at a time, every single day, choose YOU. You matter, you deserve a life of peace and joy. Keep posting, it helps. You're not alone. We understand how you feel.
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  6. tbidaughter

    tbidaughter just tired and fed up

    thank you for saying this.
  7. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    The judge will probably mandate counseling and therapy. A letter might be helpful. It would help her case if she was evaluated by a specialist.
  8. tbidaughter

    tbidaughter just tired and fed up

    she was to have an appointment monday with a nuerologist. because of her Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). she hasnt had an mri/brain scan since this happe ed in may. we need to know extent if the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). i do know this, she is not the same as she was, almost vacant of any attatchment and emotion. its scary the look that was on her face. Does anyone know can Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) cause a more psycotic person?
  9. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    A quick google search produced a number of articles attesting to the relationship between Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and psychosis and mental illness.

    She needs to be evaluated. And you must take care of yourself.

    Trust your instincts

  10. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Yes it can. Depending upon which area of the brain has been affected it can be very mood and personality altering.
  11. tbidaughter

    tbidaughter just tired and fed up

    she was diagnosed with bipolar with psychotic features at age 7. in her childhood she had spent more time in residential treatments than at home. eventually yhe psychotic features was taken off her diagnosis. simce her Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) she is exempt of realistic emotions for certain situations. totally void. her eyes are empty. people say eyes are the window to the soul, well hers are lack luster and empty. the night she attacked me she sat on the chair holding her head and rocked back and forth..then basically matter of factly stated i am going to kill you as she walked across floor and began to choke me. I have dreams that wake me up now that she had a knife and attacked me. I am lucky that didnt happen. i just want to stop crying. i jusy cant. i break out anywhere and feel so stupid for the tears.
  12. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Do not feel stupid for your tears. I can’t imagine how stressful this is for you. I have cried until my eyes are so puffy I can hardly see. Be gentle and kind to yourself.
  13. tbidaughter

    tbidaughter just tired and fed up

    I am 100% alone in this ever on going issue with my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) daughter. I have no friends suffer depressiin and major anxiety from everything that has hapoened through out my life. I am pretty much homeless. I dont know where to turn. I am not perfect by any means as a person, parent or friend. I dont know what to do at all, neither for my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) daughter nor myself. I feel like I embarrass my own mother..and that my other daughter busys herself to avoid me. I honestly dont know what to do. This whole even since May has me tale spun and I feel like I landed in another Universe and nobody speaks my language.
  14. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Are there any resources you can tap into locally. You need to secure housing and a safe environment for yourself.

    It will do no good to anyone if you continue this downward spiral.

    Is their a NAMI group near you. They would definitely understand your plight with your daughter.

    Do try to get support for yourself.
  15. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Have you tried going into therapy? You can make your life better. Really!! I felt like you a long time ago, but I kept fighting for myself. My mother didnt like me, but that is okay.
  16. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You've become depleted and exhausted from the ordeals you've had to face. From this point on, you need to focus on yourself, on your well being and your health.

    Take care of the last bit of details you need to to make sure your daughter gets the proper care in jail and then let it all go. You matter and you deserve a life of peace and happiness.

    To that end, seek support for yourself, either thru NAMI, or a therapist or some place which offers you comfort and guidance...... and begin to build your life back up. From this point on, you can rise out of this quagmire you are presently stuck in.....but you have to make yourself the absolute priority, you have to focus on yourself and your needs and desires..... and every single day do something for YOU. Small steps lead to big changes. Start caring for and nourishing yourself.

    Hang in there, keep posting, seek support and take very, very good care of yourself.