Or I could have titled the thread . . . A little difficult child goes a long way.
easy child left to visit friends on Christmas night and then went home from there. difficult child was here until today. I took her shopping yesterday for a winter interview outfit and a few other warm things. She was appreciative.
However, I still don't think she has had an epiphany about her lifestyle. She is saying more and more that she doesn't think she was an alcoholic or addict. She says that her counselor at the sober house and others have told her that they think her mood disorder is the real problem and it triggers substance abuse as a way to self medicate.
I reminded her that she wrote us a letter in rehab that she realized that she was an addict and she shrugged that off with "I was in rehab . . . they basically forced us to do that." I also reminded her that she said that she was unsuccessful in school that last time that she went back because she had been drinking and she said that was due to her mood disorder.
I don't know what to think about this. It is true that she is able to stop drinking and using pills very easily for long periods of time. Maybe there is truth to what she says but that means it is even more important to get help for her mood disorder. I reminded her that we had offered to pay for DBT and that was supposed to be very helpful for people with emotional triggers because it taught them how to recognize the triggers and think before they act. She, of course, said she was going to call "after the first of the year." She just never calls to get started.
I think husband and i are at the point where we are ready to set a date to stop the financial support. As much as she says she hates the half-way house, she seems content to live there and let us pay for her support. I don't think she is out every day looking for a job although she says the director makes her to go looking.
I did make her call about a posting I saw on Craig's list about a hair assistant and I sent her resume to a salon looking for a receptionist. I told her that I am going to start sending her resume out to a bunch of salons and she said okay.
On a positive note, if you read my post on Nancy's thread, difficult child had said that she had loaned her car to a suite-mate who in turn had loaned it to a drug dealer who kept it for two days and difficult child was scared to go back because she had reported him to the police. She left today without any fuss and called me when she got back. She was very excited because she said that she had a long text conversation with the drug dealer on Christmas Eve and told him that he needed to turn his life around and that it wasn't too late since he was only 23 years old. The kid told her that he had nothing left including his family and she told him that he could get his family back.
When she got back to the sober house, her suite-mate said, "Guess where XXX is." difficult child replied, "Jail." The suite-mate said, "No, he checked himself into rehab." difficult child was excited because she felt that she had reached him and that he had checked into rehab because of their conversation.
I told her that she may have saved a life and that she should be proud of herself.
~Kathy
easy child left to visit friends on Christmas night and then went home from there. difficult child was here until today. I took her shopping yesterday for a winter interview outfit and a few other warm things. She was appreciative.
However, I still don't think she has had an epiphany about her lifestyle. She is saying more and more that she doesn't think she was an alcoholic or addict. She says that her counselor at the sober house and others have told her that they think her mood disorder is the real problem and it triggers substance abuse as a way to self medicate.
I reminded her that she wrote us a letter in rehab that she realized that she was an addict and she shrugged that off with "I was in rehab . . . they basically forced us to do that." I also reminded her that she said that she was unsuccessful in school that last time that she went back because she had been drinking and she said that was due to her mood disorder.
I don't know what to think about this. It is true that she is able to stop drinking and using pills very easily for long periods of time. Maybe there is truth to what she says but that means it is even more important to get help for her mood disorder. I reminded her that we had offered to pay for DBT and that was supposed to be very helpful for people with emotional triggers because it taught them how to recognize the triggers and think before they act. She, of course, said she was going to call "after the first of the year." She just never calls to get started.
I think husband and i are at the point where we are ready to set a date to stop the financial support. As much as she says she hates the half-way house, she seems content to live there and let us pay for her support. I don't think she is out every day looking for a job although she says the director makes her to go looking.
I did make her call about a posting I saw on Craig's list about a hair assistant and I sent her resume to a salon looking for a receptionist. I told her that I am going to start sending her resume out to a bunch of salons and she said okay.
On a positive note, if you read my post on Nancy's thread, difficult child had said that she had loaned her car to a suite-mate who in turn had loaned it to a drug dealer who kept it for two days and difficult child was scared to go back because she had reported him to the police. She left today without any fuss and called me when she got back. She was very excited because she said that she had a long text conversation with the drug dealer on Christmas Eve and told him that he needed to turn his life around and that it wasn't too late since he was only 23 years old. The kid told her that he had nothing left including his family and she told him that he could get his family back.
When she got back to the sober house, her suite-mate said, "Guess where XXX is." difficult child replied, "Jail." The suite-mate said, "No, he checked himself into rehab." difficult child was excited because she felt that she had reached him and that he had checked into rehab because of their conversation.
I told her that she may have saved a life and that she should be proud of herself.
~Kathy