Hello all--
Just wanted to get a few opinions on something.
I don't write about it often, but I have a "broom closet" of my own. My own mother is a difficult person for me to deal with--very passive/aggresive....and now that I'm learning more about Borderline (BPD) in regards to my daughter--I'm thinking that my mother possibly has Borderline (BPD), as well.
At any rate, my mother likes to make me the butt of her jokes....always has lots of funny things to say at my expense...and is very critical of me and my family (with the exception of difficult child--who she thinks is the most wonderful person in the world). I usually come away from any interaction with her feeling hurt and upset.
And in true Borderline (BPD) style--there is no apology from her...ever. There is no reasoning or talking with her...nothing is her fault. If you are upset--it must be your problem....but if you say something out-of-line to this woman? She will rail about it for weeks, months, even years about how mean, hurtful, unreasonable you were to say whatever it was that you said.
Things have been better since we moved some 800 miles from her.
So here's my dilemma--
My sister is throwing a birthday party for my twin nieces. It is out-of-town, so it would be an overnight stay with my sister. I would like to go...
However, my mother will be spending the weekend at my sister's house, too--which means if things get unpleasant, I won't have an easy way out. I will be stuck for the weekend.
husband says I should just skip it--he feels there will be no way of avoiding my mother's hurtful words. He actually offered to go with me--but has warned me that he will not bite his tongue. The second she says something even the slightest bit inappropriate he is going to 'let her have it'.
So that's not a good option for keeping things peaceful...
What do you think? Should I stay or should I go?
(Or should I bring husband and sit back and enjoy the fireworks?...I'd rather not.)
Opinions welcome...
Thanks for your thoughts!
--DaisyFace
Just wanted to get a few opinions on something.
I don't write about it often, but I have a "broom closet" of my own. My own mother is a difficult person for me to deal with--very passive/aggresive....and now that I'm learning more about Borderline (BPD) in regards to my daughter--I'm thinking that my mother possibly has Borderline (BPD), as well.
At any rate, my mother likes to make me the butt of her jokes....always has lots of funny things to say at my expense...and is very critical of me and my family (with the exception of difficult child--who she thinks is the most wonderful person in the world). I usually come away from any interaction with her feeling hurt and upset.
And in true Borderline (BPD) style--there is no apology from her...ever. There is no reasoning or talking with her...nothing is her fault. If you are upset--it must be your problem....but if you say something out-of-line to this woman? She will rail about it for weeks, months, even years about how mean, hurtful, unreasonable you were to say whatever it was that you said.
Things have been better since we moved some 800 miles from her.
So here's my dilemma--
My sister is throwing a birthday party for my twin nieces. It is out-of-town, so it would be an overnight stay with my sister. I would like to go...
However, my mother will be spending the weekend at my sister's house, too--which means if things get unpleasant, I won't have an easy way out. I will be stuck for the weekend.
husband says I should just skip it--he feels there will be no way of avoiding my mother's hurtful words. He actually offered to go with me--but has warned me that he will not bite his tongue. The second she says something even the slightest bit inappropriate he is going to 'let her have it'.
So that's not a good option for keeping things peaceful...
What do you think? Should I stay or should I go?
(Or should I bring husband and sit back and enjoy the fireworks?...I'd rather not.)
Opinions welcome...
Thanks for your thoughts!
--DaisyFace