Yes, another new thread from me

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AmericanGirl, May 31, 2013.

  1. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member

    I got a horrible email from my mother tonight. I ended contact with her four years ago after decades of dealing with her alcoholism and untreated mental illness.

    it was brutal. She said she never believed either of us were abused....oh? What about the photos, the psy reports where 3 yr old difficult child stated dad hurt him?

    She believes a lot of difficult child's issues stem from me smothering him...I.e., taking him away from them. If anything, difficult child wanted even less to do with them than I did.

    one thing I am proud of....I forwarded the letter to my sponsor, a dear friend and my sister. Then I deleted all copies. My sister will keep one in case I ever want it. I refuse to have that around me.

    people's ability to be cruel and hateful just floors me.

    *im not going home until Sunday. Just praying I can sleep. Feeling very lonely tonight.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sending gentle hugs...

    Yes, "family" can be unusually cruel.
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry AG, I'm sending you many soft, gentle and caring hugs........We've got you covered, we have your back here, don't allow the toxicity of others to penetrate your heart.
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    That is so screwed up, AG, I'm so sorry. You carved out a safe place for you and your son, you protected and cared for him. Don't ever doubt it and don't ever forget it.
    We're here for you.
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    It hurts to the bone when family members can't be counted on for anything but more pain. Gentle hugs.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    How awful.

    I'm glad you didn't respond to her and throw oil on the flames. in my opinion you behaved the best you could have.

    Gentle huggs.
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry AG. I have had to cut off contact with certain family members over the years also. I hurts at first but I have always found that in the end I am better off.

    Have you heard anything from difficult child or the bio-jerk?
  8. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Lots of love to you
  9. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member

    I'm home.

    I called difficult child's roommate at work and asked if I could bring the SS Card and Birth Certificate to him. He was very kind to me. He's 24 and is fairly mature.

    He told me that bio dad showed up last night. difficult child and he talked a bit there, then left together for a while. Bio dad brought him back. He plans to spend next weekend with him.

    Roommate says they are blaming everything on me. Roommate didn't see his bio dad until he was 14. He told difficult child that there is a reason this man has been out of your life for 15 years but difficult child isn't listening.

    difficult child told him he is looking into moving into another place here in town...same one difficult child and I talked about a few days ago. Roommate says he and difficult child are having trouble cause difficult child doesn't want to follow house rules.

    Asked roommate to call if he knew anything significant. He said he would and I was welcome to contact him. I asked if I could give him a hug. I got a REAL hug in return. That tells me roommate is being honest.

    I believe I am safe now. Roommate's idea to tell difficult child that he found the docs in the mailbox. difficult child likely has cash from bio dad and doesn't need me for anything now. However, I am being careful.

    I've read all your comments and am grateful for the support!!!!
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    That was a great idea to call difficult child's roommate. It sounds like he truly sees what is going on, but difficult child doesn't want to hear it. I'm glad you were able to go home and feel safe. I was wondering if you had heard anything from difficult child or bio dad.
  11. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    I hope you are doing ok today. I am so sorry about your mom. It hurts every time they rear their ugly heads, these toxic relatives. Glad you got stuff to the roommate. I hope difficult child learns about his dad quickly before too much damage happens. Focus on you and taking care of your needs. I continue to pray, because that is the only power we have.
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Ditto, DDD.