33yo difficult child Baker Acted himself!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tiredof33, Jan 31, 2012.

  1. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    My 33 yo difficult child has been in a relationship with another 37 yo difficult child for 2 years. They fight alot and he threatens suicide. I had to call the police to stop her from harrassing me. He attracts other difficult children but his one has been from h***. I met her one time and that was enough!

    He was doing well before he met her and I know it is not her fault, but the 2 of them are an extremely bad combination. We had just gotten to a point where I didn't dread his calls and actually enjoyed them lol!!!! Then when she came along he quit his job so they could both go to college together. That was a red flag for me, and they fact that her family wanted me to send monthly checks.

    They got into a fight and she posted fiflthy stuff about him on facebook and my daughter told her to at least have the decency to block his family before posting that stuff. That made her mad and she started calling my daughter and leaving her nasty messages. My daughter has never met her.

    My difficult child posted on facebook over the weekend (I hate that place lol) that he had been offered this lucrative job in NYC (moving from FL) and he sent me a message about it. I knew it was a lie and I sent him a message that he needed to make sure he had the job before moving and they need counseling and both needed to get off the drugs.

    I guess that hit a nerve he blocked me!!!

    My daughter just sent me a message that they had kicked him out (both living with her mother) and put his belongings on the street. The girl went into detox but he didn't because they can't both be in the same place, so he Baker Acted himself into a hospital.

    I have been praying for him every hour for so very long, he needs help. I was so afraid that he was going to kill himself. I know that he doesn't want to die, but he could cut himself and die accidentally.

    I don't know all of the details, but when I called the mother about calling the police to get the daughter from harrassing me, I told the mother to call the police the next time they had a fight and he threatened suicide. I don't know if that is what she did, but at least know he is getting help.

    It's still not a good place to be, but so much better than he was! I was have a sense of dread for weeks
    and know I do feel better. Thank all of you for your support and I hope my posts are not scaring the parents of the younger difficult children.
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    He is in a safe place now and that's a good place to be.

  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sure it is still frightening for you but not only is he safe...he did it himself. Let's hope that he really does realize that he needs help and that he will find it. The fact that he checked himself in sounds very positive to me. Sending hugs your way. DDD
  4. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    Thank you! It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It was the same thing leaving him in jail, at least I knew where he was, and hopefully he wasn't getting drugs in jail lol!!!!

    My heart goes out to the younger members with the young difficult children, I would not wish these life issues on my worst emeny.

    My son was always difficult and I am sure the drugs have left their mark. The ironic thing is there was only one girlfriend that was not a difficult child and was supportive of him while he was going through threatment programs.

    That relationship was much shorter than this difficult child, I certainly hope he finds out why he is attracted to distructive difficult children.
  5. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Glad he is getting the help he needs.
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I am glad he is geting help. I hope he takes it seriously and that this is the beginning of a better life for him. I'm sure you feel good to be able to breathe freely after so much worry. Keep us posted on his progress.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi T33, and hugs to you. I am glad he is in a safer place. I hope it is a start of something new and some forward progress.... Let us know how he is doing ok??
  8. Sounds like awesome progress!!!!!!
    To be willing to take a such a difficult step toward healing is very encouraging!!!!!

    Hugs. :)
  9. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    difficult child called me last night, of course it is all girlie's fault. At 33 he still thinks like a troubled teen. He literally has only the clothes on his back and is concerned that he will miss too many days of classes.
    This would be great news if he was in high school, but he is not! It completely goes over his head that he has no job, no place to live, no car, nothing. He has no money and I told him he would have if they did not party so much.
    I told him he has to find a job, his reply is that ther are no jobs in the area he is in. THEN YOU MUST MOVE TO WHERE YOU CAN GET A JOB!!!
    His reply to that was this college has such a good program and is much cheaper. NOT IF YOU CAN'T SUPPORT YOURSELF!
    He is on the deans list and will graduate with honors, the degree is in computer security. The difficult child has a police record, what part of this does he not get???
    The girlie is still in detox, she is addicted to pain medications. He said she was 'doctor shopping' and mixing the pain medications with alcohol. Of course he doesn't have a problem.
    At the very end when I told him to ask for help getting into a half way house, he said one of the conditions of his leaving was he had to have a place to go.
    His entire focus is on finishing the college program, completely oblivious to the fact he can not support himself! I am hoping that the professionals can 'see' through his lies and cons and help him!
    He said if he gets back together with girlies she has to make some changes, I said you have to be kidding me! I told him the two of them are poison together!!!!!
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    In our neck of the woods Baker Act patients are only held for a few days to evaluate whether or not they are suicidal. I may be wrong but I don't think they care where they go upon release. Is it possible that he is misrepresenting? Sending hugs. DDD
  11. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    Thank you, he called this AM and he was released, I was hoping for more. It looks like he may be sleeping on the streets! Very sad, but I am at the point that it is his problem.

  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending very caring hugs your way. I'm sorry it wasn't a longer stay but I have heard of addicts using the Baker Act to have a couple of days free room and board. The ball is in his court and I'm hoping he has an awakening. DDD
  13. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    That is the very same thing I told my daughter, he was out of money and needed a place to stay. I let my emotions take over and this has gone on for so long. I had a break for years and thought he was better, in my dissapointment let myself get sucked into his drama again.
    His choices his life.