I've posted before about my difficult child-took him from Illinois to Colorado to live with his dad and brother (knew he wouldn't last long there-they brook no nonsense from him) last June. I don't know how to link to the backstory so I'll try to recap. He was kicked out by his father and brother because he was drinking and drugging. Moved in with a difficult child who was involved in crystal meth and together they continued a very unsavory lifestyle. He was arrested and jailed on December 2 2013 on a Domestic Violence charge. He also had cuts and bruises and as the girl is unstable, felt he had a good case against her. So did his Public Defender. He was originally facing 5-16 years in prison for this. The girlfriend began writing to him in jail, recanting her statement, apologizing for what had happened , saying it was her fault and that he was the only one for her. Hmmm. HER mother, who is an attorney also sent letters to the judge saying what a wonderful young man he was and that she was willing to help him any way she could and that her daughter would only drag him down. She continues to visit my son every week in jail. His bail was reduced but he screwed up and was re-arrested 3 days later. You couldn't make it up. The courts LOST the file containing those charges. Hmmm again. My son wanted to go to trial but eventually as of last week decided to take a plea bargain. He will be sentenced on June 13 and thinks the judge will give him an extended probation with a halfway house or sober living. I like this idea though realistically think that he will mess it up and be back where he started. I don't think he knows how to live in the outside world. Now on to my issue, which might not seem a problem to you warriors-but he is calling me MUCH more frequently. I started sending him care packages every so often and he is calling to ask for more. He told me last Sunday that he was thinking of asking to transfer his probation to Illinois, as he "doesn't know anyone in Colorado". Well, son, the people you know in Illinois probably don't want to have much to do with you. It pains me to say that, but it's true. Plus they were NOT good people for him to be around. And vice versa. I am NOT going to be staying in Illinois. I am taking early retirement in June but will still have to work and was considering moving to Colorado to be near my easy child (who is working full time and doing an online degree) if only for a little while, because I know that my easy child doesn't need me around. But I'd still like to do motherandson things with him. It's something that I've never really done and it amazes me, the ease with which my easy child and I can chat, have lunch or coffee, catch up on news and do some grocery shopping, etc. Stuff that you DON'T GET TO DO WITH A difficult child without it going pear-shaped. I think my point is that I feel I've come so far (not there yet, but trying) and I now feel that he is going to be unleashed on the world and with that comes uncertainty about his future and ME taking on the role of fixer. It's feeling like I'm slipping back into that role already, with the calls and the money spent on care packages. I was so resolute at first and I feel like Destiny is doing a snow job on me. The tentacles are snaking their way back in to my life. difficult child is scared, wants to run back to Illinois and mother and DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE LEARNED ANYTHING. I can't have this happen. I told him I would not be staying here so if that was why he wanted to come back to Illinois, that wasn't even going to be an option. I DON'T want to take on his fears and his messes. I have been blissfully happy without his bs . I seriously thought he would tough up but I see he hasn't. He even talked about wanting a work release, where you work during the day and go back to the jail at night. So, how do I rid myself of the feeling that he wants to encroach on my life again? I am NEVER going back there. Does it seem like a bad idea to move to CO? I would have to sacrifice time with my easy child in order to stay away from difficult child. My best friend lives in Australia and says I can go there to live with her...but do I just leave the whole circus behind? It seems so selfish and unmotherly... At the same time, I feel the guilt. There's not much hope of a future for difficult child. Maybe he really just wants to know that someone cares about him. Though his girlfriend's mother seems to be in his corner.