Bipolar Son

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MCV, Nov 5, 2017.

  1. MCV

    MCV New Member

    My so is 20. He had his first stint in the psychiatric ward at 17. Since then it has been hell. He has started stalking a girl and was arrested. We had to leave him in jail for 8days I order to convince court he is not right. They did and stated he needed a psychiatric evaluation and follow treatment or go back to jail. Well we got him out and he was home one day and went on manic epeisode and agreed to go into hospital because he was in a abusive triggered psychosis cause by are abuse. We have never abused him but he says we have. While in hospital he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He refuses to believe he has any problem and will not take medication. We are getting out of hospital today and he is telling us we must admit to being an abusive family. We are at are witts end. We don’t know what to do. He continues to say this girl loves him and he has never even talked to her. How can we get him to take his medications to get better? I fear we are going to have to kick him out and let him be homeless. Any advise would help.
     
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Welcome MCV

    Please know you are not alone. There are many people here in the very same situation as you.

    My situation is somewhat different as my son is a drug addict. He has MH issues and not sure if it is a mixed disorder from the drugs or an underlying MH disorder.

    We have put our son out of the house just recently.

    It is a tough decision however, if they have capacity and you can not mandate them into treatment,What choices remain?

    There is an article on the site regarding detachment. It would be a good place for you to start.

    There is a group called NAMI chek if there is one in your area. They are a support group for people with family members who have MH issues.
     
  3. MCV

    MCV New Member

    Where can I find that article? We have trouble with the homeless part & we also see jail as well since he has already violated the restraining order once. I have told him if he keeps heading down this road his chances of death are very high which is very tough for us to swallow since all he needs to do is help himself. He has the medical resources and does do therapy but won’t take the medications which are critical for treatment. In his mind he has no problems and thinking a girl loves you when she does not is a normal thought. Very sad.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have been in the mental health system myself since age 23. So much has changed with medications and other therapies, but one thing hasnt changed. There is no way to prove a diagnosis...no blood test, no brain scan that proves any diagnosis. From ADHD to bipolar everything is just guess and ten professionals may see ten different problems.

    That makes treating mental illness hard. They dont really know for sure if theyare treating the right thing.

    I know I have a mood disorder. I feel it when I am off my medications, which i choose not to be anymore. I was diagnosed manic depression, bipolar 2, unipolar depression and mood disorder not otherwise specified. Mood stabilizers made me a zombie. I wouldnt take anything that did that to me. Antidrpressants and anxiety medications saved my life... literally. So do I have bipolar? Nobody knows. But medications are an important part of treatment if there is a chemical imbalance that causes wayward moods or psychosis, especially delusions and psychosis.

    The point of this is your son may have been wrongly diagnosed. It happens a lot.i was in hospitals three times and very often the problems are more than one. Your sons psyhosis is not particularly consistent with a mood disorder alone. It is true that mania can cause psychosis, but the person is rational once they "come down." Your son would need a long stint of compliance with treatment and trial and error to get maximum help. And he would probably need medication. With the stalking and belief a girl he never met is in love with him, his delusions seem beyond bipolar. Bipolar is diagnosed for almost everything, but its not always right.

    Your poor son is s mess. If he will not or can not comply with treatment, there is nothing you can do for him and it can make YOU sick. That helps nobody.

    I know from being an advocate for the mentally ill that there are group homes out there, some paid by Medicaid. I do think the client needs to agree to go and there are rules. But this may be worth looking into.

    I think contacting NAMI is also a good idea. Are street drugs involved? Meth can cause psychosis. Even pot can in certain people. He needs to be sober for treatment to work.

    If son wont comply, it is reasonable to have him leave.
     
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    Last edited: Nov 5, 2017
  5. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Welcome, MCV. In my opinion, when someone is psychotic nothing they say or do makes any rational sense. Which means, of course, they don't understand how ill they are.

    Your son is adult and can refuse medication. When I was struggling with my late husband who was mentally ill, I found my county mental health office was a great resource. They helped me to readmit my husband two times. Neither time did the doctors change his medication, but at least he was in the hospital for awhile.

    As for the girl, I think I would warn her that he will be out of the hospital. He is fixated on her for some reason. Does she have a protective order against him? If so, maybe it would be better for him to go back to jail.

    No one really tell you what to do to fix all of this. You and your husband do what you think is right. If we had the magic cure, none of us would have to discuss solutions on the internet. We're all here to support you in this difficult journey.
     
  6. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Welcome, MCV. In my opinion, when someone is psychotic nothing they say or do makes any rational sense. Which means, of course, they don't understand how ill they are.

    Your son is adult and can refuse medication. When I was struggling with my late husband who was mentally ill, I found my county mental health office was a great resource. They helped me to readmit my husband two times. Neither time did the doctors change his medication, but at least he was in the hospital for awhile.

    As for the girl, I think I would warn her that he will be out of the hospital. He is fixated on her for some reason. Does she have a protective order against him? If so, maybe it would be better for him to go back to jail.

    No one really tell you what to do to fix all of this. You and your husband do what you think is right. If we had the magic cure, none of us would have to discuss solutions on the internet. We're all here to support you in this difficult journey.
     
  7. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Welcome, MCV. In my opinion, when someone is psychotic nothing they say or do makes any rational sense. Which means, of course, they don't understand how ill they are.

    Your son is adult and can refuse medication. When I was struggling with my late husband who was mentally ill, I found my county mental health office was a great resource. They helped me to readmit my husband two times. Neither time did the doctors change his medication, but at least he was in the hospital for awhile.

    As for the girl, I think I would warn her that he will be out of the hospital. He is fixated on her for some reason. Does she have a protective order against him? If so, maybe it would be better for him to go back to jail.

    No one really tell you what to do to fix all of this. You and your husband do what you think is right. If we had the magic cure, none of us would have to discuss solutions on the internet. We're all here to support you in this difficult journey.
     
  8. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Sorry. My computer got hung up. How embarrassing.
     
  9. MCV

    MCV New Member

    He smiles dope but has been off of it for 15days.
     
  10. MCV

    MCV New Member

    I ment to say he smokes dope
     
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Pot stays in your system for a long time. Do you know if he uses other drugs?

    Drugs can cause psychosis. Pot can kick up latent mental illness.

    In the end, Pigless is right. The girl should be notified and you have to do what you can live with. Much love and take care. Keep posting. It helps.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2017
  12. MCV

    MCV New Member

    Thanks. No other drugs just weed. Dr not real sold on weed causing problem.
     
  13. MCV

    MCV New Member

    He also has major issues with social media. He tweets constantly and that is where a number of the problems start when he tweets about this girl which he is specifically ordered not to do or he will go to jail. We r heading to get him soon pray for peace.
     
  14. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Your Dr is not well schooled in the literature of problematic pot use and upregulaiton of psychosis and other psychological disorders.
     
  15. Kalahou

    Kalahou Active Member

    Hello MCV
    Welcome to the forum. I am following along.
    The Detachment Article is a good starting point, if you have not yet found and read it. It is at the top of this forum, and here is a link to it.
    https://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/

    I do not have time to post more now, but just want to tell you that you have found a safe place here where people understand, and can share wisdom and comfort as you work through this situation. Posting and reading the others' threads can give you a lot of perspective and insight.
    Hang in there.
     
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  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Doctors can be wrong, espeially psychiatrists. I could not smoke weed. It made me paranoid. For some reason unkown to me, psychiatrists dont think that weed causes problems or they are very kind to weed (so far). Maybe they smoke it and it isnt bad for them. But alcohol is fine for most people too and if you told a psyschiatrist that your son was drinking he would probably have said drinking was a problem. Pot is mind altering and motivation killing and not everyone is ok smoking it, but its a, for lack of a better word, "cool" to younger clients and doctors oblidge them. I think this will change as time goes by and consequences are proven.

    Its simply not true that weed is not a problem for all, especially daily users. No drug or supplement is safe for everyone. And we see what pot does to our kids year after year.
     
  17. newstart

    newstart Active Member

    I will have to agree with somewhereoutthere about pot not being good for just everyone. I grew up with pot all around me. I use to smoke it. I do not have a MH issure or bipolar but smoking pot made me feel paranoid and I gained a lot of weight, plus my face would break out. I loved the taste and smell of it. When I quit smoking pot I lost close to 20 lbs. I smoked it for a little while as a teenager. I smoked pot when I studied, for some reason it made the classes I thought were boring so much more interesting. I thought about the good and bad of smoking pot and it was not worth all the bad stuff that goes with it especially feeling lazy and the weight gain.
    I know several bipolar adults that use pot regularly and it seems to settle their minds and they feel better and more grounded using it. Each person is going to respond to it differently and they are so many different kinds of pot that are cut with toxic drugs. I just would not trust street pot.
     
  18. MCV

    MCV New Member

    We cannot even get him to take medications. He says he has nothing wrong with him and the reason he had a psychosis is because we abuse him when he was growing up. The dr said do not agree with him when he brings this up. Also he eats out on are money at least once a day if not twice and refuses to make his own food. My wife and I are going to a local NAMI meeting Thursday. All he does is posts his thoughts on twitter. Pray for us before we all go crazy.
     
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  19. newstart

    newstart Active Member

    MCV I am praying for you right this second. I understand how heartbreaking and troubled you feel right now. It is so grueling and overwhelming sometimes. It is hard to know when you are enabling and when you are helping because they are so ill. I found out the hard way that the more I helped my daughter the worse she became. I had to realize even though she was severely bipolar she was not as 'out of it' as I thought she was and even when she was highly manic she knew right from wrong. Her belligerent mouth is hard to take. My daugher is 35 and has always refuses medications. I made her take them when she was 19 and she accused me of trying to harm her. I am all about doing things the natural way but she REALLY needs to be on them and there is nothing I can do about it. I was hoping she would get on them herself but no way, she is going to ruin anyone and everything around her before she takes medications. Hopefully your son will get himself on them. I know your heart is so broken.