Got the temp full custody order today, vague on visitation rights, with "liberal' penned in before "visitation", grandma's supervision specified, separate residence is not.
Here are excerpts from what I just wrote to my lawyer:
When I got home tonight with DS(5) and daughter(14) I found grandma and difficult child(9) gone. After calling grandma's cell phone I found out wife took them to the city to a party at her school. Grandma told me on the phone they would be home by 7pm. At 7:45pm wife arrived home with difficult child without grandma (having dropped off grandma elsewhere). wife essentially kept me away from difficult child throughout the rest of the evening, not letting me even to take difficult child to wash his hands or to sit next to him, asking difficult child's wish at every point (I: "It's bed time, difficult child" She:"Dad doesn't want me to give you a snack, would you like a snack ?"). When I asked her to leave, she refused. I said I am calling 911, she started screaming to DS(the 5y.o.) "dad is going call 911, he wants to put me in jail". This was getting the kids more and more worked up, until both of them were in the family bed with her, and upset. When I asked her not to get the kids involved in this she started screaming "you are getting the kids involved in this when you started this; children, if you wake up and I am not here, it means dad had police put me in jail, dad doesn't want me to live here with you, etc". I didn't want to traumatize the boys further and got out of the bedroom where she then locked herself with the boys. It was 1.5 hrs past difficult child's bedtime. I was not able to give him some of the supplements he takes because she kept me away. daughter decided throughout the evening to record the sounds of some of this on her cellphone; she got some of the "dad wants to call 911, DS" etc.
I asked wife earlier in the evening whether she talked to her lawyer today, she said yes, and she was aware of the order (her lawyer getting the order is as good as her getting served as I understand it).
During the course of the evening she also kept asking DS "do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?" and other ways to insinuate herself into "following the child's wish" against the custody order. Even when I asked her to let difficult child sleep and turn off the light (you know how bipolar's sleep schedule is critical to his mental health) she refused, wanting to read to DS because "she promised him".
I called the police to make a report. I asked them not to disturb the boys where wife was locked in, and so I was not asking them to remove her.
They told me:
1. They don't make reports on custody violations (department's new policy)
2. The order is written vaguely enough where visitation time is not specified and "liberal" written in , and it is not specified that she is to live apart, so they probably would not remove her from the house if I did ask them to.
However, the way I see it, she was clearly in violation arriving with difficult child alone without supervision, and I had no idea he was taken to the city until I called to find out.
She has been hostile (though not overtly threatening or violent) to daughter (that's the one wife assaulted in the first place) throughout the trip from LA, tonight, and any other time they are within vicinity of each other.
What do you think I should do?
Me: married (who knows for how long yet) dad, 49ish
wife: BiPolar (BP) off da hook
GFG9, BiPolar (BP) boy, abilfy 10mg, b6 for (possible) tardive dyskinesia
DS5, as perfect as they come
DD14, makeup and fashion expert, easy child since I stood to her defense against assaults by wife.