Still not sure, Beth, where you think my feelings were superseded; we are very laid back here in California, you know. but I have seen situations you describe in this forum, yes.
Anyway, wife wont go away, her manic phase is picking up (so with luck she'll move on to hostile during mediation), grandma is wobbling about with what looks like microstroke (and wife is almost gloating how I'll be paying the medical bills) and I have to write up as much as I can of this life of mine for mediation, which could be as soon as this weekend. Lord give me strength, I am getting very cold feet. wife is nuts tho, no question about it. N-V-T-S. Move out? I am still (today) on the side of letting her accumulate more custody order violations etc. The kids are not too traumatized by her trying to be a perfect (although ultra controlling) mom. Moving out might look to mediator/judge like i am a jerk, i wonder. Anyway, to my life story.
g'nite.