Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Mar 1, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    so i've been waiting for the school's decision for weeks now on whether or not they'll supply in home tutoring for difficult child.

    i keep emailing, because due to their cps investigation into me 3x they did it again by the way!! i cant' talk to them verbal anymore. i decided i wont' take a chance.

    so, today i get the email stating that they'll give her tutoring only to "catch up" on it, so it's the make up hours. than went into again hospital in oregon they need MORE documentation stating diff things.

    so on and on it went via email. i have to cover all my bases. I than began emailing the Special Education dept and district also requesting the 504 renewal meeting because i'm not applying for an IEP for her.

    their nasty, indifferent with me. Special Education/district dept called me and i just told them please email me any info from now on. made it sound like it's easier for me instead of phone contact.

    their all over me, its' the craziest thing even still. than cps is on me also still in a big way. got letter today from them stating that they need to contact more ppl about me. now their investigating me taking care of easy child!! LOL. so i had to sign consent forms for them to contact both the kids doctors!

    it's just getting out of control now, anyone think so too? if you guys went thru this how long did it take? this is 3 mos now at least of ongoing mtgs, phone calls, now them calling everywhere and anywhere about me.

    school keeps filing more cps reports against me. i'm not getting emotional about it. yet it's frustrating.

    so i sat tonight and thought to myself in our town there has to be a "head" of someone somewhere that i can write to, give them info about what the school's done to me etc. to say hey what's really going on? who hates me this much?? i wouldnt' write that yet you get the idea.

    you would think after all this time it would be over now. so now i'm slamming school all day long with emails to both the guidance counselor, now the district/ Special Education dept.

    also i asked them why on earth was difficult child's name called out ea. and every morning for attendance in school when you knew full well where she was?

    it only added addtl pressure to my stepson whose in her class or was, the kids are still gossiping saying difficult child's weird. my stepson unfortunately comes home and reports back to difficult child and us. which we told him he shouldn't.

    round and round we go. so, now they have so many emails from me asking

    1. why'd it take so long to get in home tutors in?
    2. why are you the school educationally neglecting her at this point
    3. the attendance issue

    any thoughts? my idea now is to get my iep and fight for in home tutoring and get outta here come june. granted husband and i can handle that with mess we're in.

    seems pointless. difficult child and i spoke she basically said i have no friends i want a friend so bad. i said i know. so today i went to library with her which is huge here and we registered her for every thing they had there. like teen movie nights, a bunch of diff things they had besides movies. hoping she'll meet a new kid there and a friendship will form.
  2. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    The library is a great resource ! I hope she can make a friend or two.
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    What do they do, keep losing the paperwork from the hospital? Why don't they contact the hospital directly? I'd sure be telling them to do that if that's where they need the info from.
    How's it going with her new psychiatrist and is this where you take that offer of his help to fight the school on her behalf?
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    they have all the info. they have contacted them directly both cps and the school. school just keeps doing it over and over again for some odd reason. i have no idea why. the new guy called him today to tel him i need a letter based on his thoughts pertaining to school. he didnt' get back to me. i can just see how this stupid school's going to function. difficult child late call cps, difficult child anxiety ridden oops call cps maybe mom's beating her at home. Oh my god like enuf already with these ppl.

    i told the tutoring service what was going on and my need for documentation the woman just said we were all waiting to hear from you about difficult child. we're soo happy to hear she's eating. yet why would the school do this over and over again? hmmm i just dont' know..... way i see it is i have 4 mos. 16 weeks to keep playing games with-them. difficult child is afraid to go to a new school. yet she's afraid to go to this one. i'm afraid to send her back there. lol
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Because the school is being run by idiots that are Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about CYA?
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Why not?? You realize that is the only legally covered thing you can get, right?
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I hope you are keeping records or journaling or both. Having the documentation of the ongoing hassles will be greatly to your advantage. Sorry it's continuing. DDD
  8. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Been following your saga - she needs a IEP - 504's are pretty useless. Having said that, you really should find a good Parent Advocate for yourself to fight them - schools here have to give you a list on request here (though I never trusted anything our school district said, did, or gave me). The guy I hired outside the school list was a wonderful advocate, and they changed their tune when they found out I had hired an Advocate.

    Once you request an IEP (certified mail - no emal) they have a time line to get their hind ends moving

  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sounds like they're doing it on purpose. Have you ever contacted the Department of Public Education about the harassment? That's who I'd call first if it were me and I'd talk to the head of Special Education. Unlike everyone in your district, they are NOT in bed with your school, the teachers, or w hat they are doing to you. Next, I'd get a school advocate. If I could swing it, I'd also look into a lawyer. You may need one if cps decides you are guilty in advance. CPS is very messy and often not only unfair but frightening. I wouldn't try to deal with cps on my own. ((((Hugs))))
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    klmno sorry that was a typo i am applying for iep. i type so fast sometimes i totally mess up :)

    yes i am documenting it all, journaling it, saving emails now. i am trying to figure out who to get in touch with higher up to get them off me
  11. Mamaof5

    Mamaof5 Guest

    In this case, I'd go the media route. Throw it out there in the public arena, see how fast that school changes it's tune then.
  12. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    look on your state's department of education website, find a number of someone, and call and say you want to fill a written complaint. They will investigate your school district and that will probably move mountains. the problem with a time line for an IEP is that by the time they evaluate, call a meeting etc the year will probably be just about over but you got to do it anyway. I would write a letter to your school district, copied to the superintendent, school board chair, and your department of education laying out when you contacted them, what they asked for etc. Just facts, low emotion. Tell them clearly what you want to happen at the end and that you need to understand clearly what they need from you in addition to the xyz (list them) things you have already provided.

    write a draft--there are some pretty good letter writers on the board here who I am sure would be happy to help you clean it up. the key is not to sound like an over the top wacko parent.

    good luck.
  13. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    You need an IEP for her, you really do. I have IEPs for all of my sons and their issues are not as serious as your daughter's.

    There is an agency that I think services your county that provides free or low cost advocacy services. I spoke with them while I was fighting the school's position of difficult child belongs in a locked down psycho ward vs. my position of difficult child needs to be in honors classes (I won).

    You could get an OHI classification to deal with her health issues that make her unable to be in school and deal peripherally with the psychological issues.

    On another note, it's very offensive that your school keeps calling CPS and has not cooperated in getting homebound services for her. If they are offering catch up services at this point, take them. If the teachers decide that she needs more, they should write that in their reports. When my son was on homebound (PC14, in grade 7) for his broken leg, I had H take him to the library for his sessions. One, and this might be a consideration for you aso, we didn't have to lock the dogs up and two, it got him out of the house for awhile. I would call a few days in advance and reserve a room for the sessions. It worked very well, he was less distracted and it was easier for him to work in a more structured environment. There's also that element of stir crazy from being just at home.

    In conclusion, the first thing I think you should do is send a letter requesting that she be evaluated for an IEP. She has more needs and issues than when her 504 was entered and she needs more services and protections. 504s are not legally worth the paper they are written on.
  14. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Sveng, Jena meant to say IEP, she typed 504 by mistake.

    Jena, I agree with the suggestion to go to the state dept of Ed (or whatever it's called) and talk to the disability people there. They will not be happy with a school abusing legal means to get out of their responsibilities. And if that fails - yep, the media.

  15. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    I have to wonder if her absences are the root cause of the calls to CPS. Playing the devil's advocate here, they've got a student that has not been in class in how many months? No IEP? Communication from Mom but apparently not enough communication from the professionals involved re: her fitness to attend school? That's a glaring anomaly on their books and if they don't cover their posteriors, there could be ramifications from the state level. States don't handle absences/"truancy" consistently. I know when we lived in CA and were dealing with- thank you's ridiculous morning behaviors, I got a letter advising court involvement for "truancy" - and it wasn't that he was missing school, he was just constantly late because of the battle to get him dressed. At that point, I started dropping him off in (more accurately, dragging him into) the principal's office in his PJs, and let *her* deal with it. Miraculously, I never got another warning letter.

    Due to her absences and hospitalizations, and you communicating the reason for them, the district has been aware for months that they have a child with a disability on their hands. They have an obligation to identify children with- disabilities and request parental consent to being evaluation - the SD, in my humble opinion, has majorly dropped the ball. The IEP evaluation should have been initiated (by them or you - I think majority of responsibility in this situation should fall on SD given their obligation to identify children with- disabilities) when she first started missing school. Making reports to CPS does not relieve SD of their responsibilities. But... what's done is done. I'd get that certified letter requesting evaluation of a child that they have been *aware* of having a disability for months sent today, and I'd cc: CPS.

    I'd also be very careful about what information you're allowing the SD to request from hospital. They have absolutely *no* right to her medical records, unless you want them to have them. A letter verifying dates of treatment should suffice. SD is not providing medical tx, nor are they offering (at this time) to provide any counseling svcs via IEP. Since IEP evaluation has not been requested, and it sounds like they're not initiating evaluation, they have no need to see anything relating to the medical details of her tx.

    Jena - it goes without saying that your plate is long past overflowing. I'd really strongly recommend you get an advocate in to direct this battle. The SD dropped the ball, and it seems they're in serious CYA mode at this point, trying to place blame on you.
  16. If state testing is occurring this month, then they must provide the state with documentation as to why a student did not take the exam. At least in CT, that will mess up their Annual Yearly Progress status.
  17. Jena

    Jena New Member

    slsh you are soo corrrect. my anxiety at night hits and sleep just isnt' happening. i actually kept husband up almost all night last night. xanax didnt' even work for me which half of a 0.25 usually does the trick. difficult child had a hard night her moods are swinging all over the board. it goes from deep depression to giddy at times if something positive happens. i feel like i'm loosing it lol. last night she wanted to be someone else, hates her life, herself, she's fat ugly stupid has no friends. you know the drill.

    i called the superintendent's office today to set up an appointment to hopefully get to the bottom of this b.s. harrassment at this point. i'll bring all my docs, emails, etc. with me. i did this after getting a call that difficult child is only available for 8 hours of make up home tutoring. hello we have waited patiently since her return home 4 weeks ago today for them. in order to get more they want all sorts of documentation again. fine no problem seeing her new guy on friday that said to me in no way should this kid go back to school right now. i'd love to send her back though!

    i also called cps woman to question her and left message she's actually very nice. yet she's in the middle of a mess that seh cant' even understand once she met with-husband and i. and heard the years of doctors etc. for difficult child why the school would continue doing what their doing to me.

    so now i step on school's toes and go to the main person supposedly its' this guy. although i strongly feel this neighborhood is so twisted he'll also shaft me. my aim now is to get my iep and remove myself from this neighborhood whether difficult child thinks it's a good idea or not.
  18. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    If you are leaving do not put all your hopes on getting this IEP and all being good wehrever you go. You will have to meet to make a new IEP with the new school. They will not just transfer her IEP from the old school and just give her all that you wroked out.

    I would first make an appointment with the CPS person. Or at least have a long enough call to get clarification from her. Ask how many reports have been made? All by one person, by a few different people from one group (like school), or a different person reporting each time. You need this to figure out how to address the issues with CPS.

    If each person that she would encounter at school, say principal, teacher and guidance counselor, sees an issue and reports it to CPS then there would basically be 3 reports for every issue. So you could get each letter from the doctor or hospital and make 3 copies - put one copy with each report adn be done iwth it. If all the reports are being made by the same 1 or 2 people who just keep calling with anything they can imagine it will tell the case worker different things. Iif she can see that all or even most of the reports are completely unfounded then she can give the reporter a warning for makine spurious abuse reports. Future reports from that person can be handled with a phone call so she can say she spoke to you, but nothing else would be needed. If there are a bunch of different people making reports then each ahs to be looked at for a while then the worker will be able to say they checked you out six ways from Sunday and it is all fine. It took almost 3 months for CPS to get any written info to us and it was 4 months before they closed the case. They didn't do anything after week 4 or 5 but it took that long to get it processed and see that other reports were not coming in. 3 months for multiple reports really is not very long. Years ago I had to give a deposition about an abuse case where I witnessed true neglect of one of Wiz' classmates. The mom RAN a Head Start 3yo program and left her son home alone until 2 am so she could go get stoned. She had another story about what she was doing, but I didn't care. I was told about week 9 that they wanted a deposition and it took about 3-4 months to even schedule it. I had to sign a written copy of what I said and that took another 6 weeks. These things don't go in a "timely" manner unless your version of timely is as fast as molasses running uphill in an Antarctic winter.

    After you figure out how many complaints are there, you can address them one at a time. Until then you will drive yourself batty.

    As for school, keep getting those doctor notes that she is not to attend school. Get the docs to write the note excusing for for a month or so at a time - "difficult child is unable to attend school because she is dealing with X and the effects make school attendance against medical advice. We will examine her progress in X weeks and re-evaluate at that time. Until then she is to be on home-study."

    Or whatever it is taht school needs it to say. GEt the doctor to give you a copy and to fax a copy to the school. YOU will send a copy to the school using the Post Office certified mail return receipt requested. This means the doctor will have the confirmation info from the fax (might be good to ask for a copy of that verification), you will have the receipt from the certified letter with the signature of the person who accepted the letter, and school cannot say they don't have it. Keep the fax confirmations from the doctor, copy of the doctor's note, and your receipt with your notes about what you sent, when and to whom.

    Do this every month or however long the school needs. School may decide they want another doctor to evaluate her. Don't be afraid of this. Have yoru parent report ready to go and go. Make it very clear to the school and to the doctor's office that you will be there with difficult child but you will NOT PAY for this second opinion. If school tries to bully you then go to the sp ed 101 section here and ask how to prove to them that they bear the cost of the 2nd opinion - because they DO.

    Start teasing out these things and do all you can to take care of YOU.

    Lots of gentle hugs.

    That needs to be handled differently and separately from the IEP. I know it is hard, but it is what it is.
  19. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I don't think the CPS stuff will stop until you get her the IEP and make accommodations for home care only - or you pull her out and homeschool her. If you cannot get her an IEP fast enough than pull her our and "homeschool" her until you can get her an IEP. For many states that is considered a private school, which requires no further explanation.

    I would recommend getting a special education advocate/lawyer. Maybe pop onto the Special Education forum, and see what they have to say. But there are lawyers who specialize in special education, and will be your advocate, and to my knowledge many of the times they charge on a sliding scale.
  20. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm totally confused. And I also thought part of the point of an IEP is that it does transfer over to other schools.