Californiablonde
Well-Known Member
difficult child has been missing too much school lately and the school psychiatric, the school nurse, and her gasterenterologist all believe she is using her ulcers as an excuse not to go and she is working the system. Her new nausea pill seems to be working and she hasn't thrown up in days. She has pain on and off but it is usally relieved by eating. She also takes a strong pain medication and that should be helping as well. Her doctor believes she is perfectly capable of making it through a six hour school day, especially since when I go home to check up on her at lunch time, she is usually at the computer and listening to music and she seems to be doing fine. So the school psychiatric plus my therapist and my boyfriend all gave me the advice to take away the computer and cell phone on the days she is home sick. That way she will be utterly bored and maybe motivated to make it to school.
So I tried taking their advice and disconnecting the computer and taking the cord and the cell phone to work with me while she stayed home. I had been giving her back the computer privileges and cell phone after I got home from work. That wasn't enough to get her motivated to go back to school. So my boyfriend suggested I take away the computer, bedroom tv, and her cell phone for an entire 24 hours instead. So Monday morning, when she claimed she was too sick to go to school, I tried to motivate her. I hadn't even given her the pain or nausea medications yet. I told her I would give her the pills and she would start to feel better like she usually does, and she would be perfectly fine to make it through the school day. If she didn't feel well she could see the nurse. She still refused to go. So I told her I was taking away the computer, the bedroom tv, and the cell phone until the next morning. That's when she flipped out. Told me she needed the computer cause it's her therapy for her depression and anxiety. She told me there was no way she could make it an entire night without doing her art on the computer or listening to music on her cell phone. I told her sorry, no deal. If she can't live without the computer or her music that bad, then she could make it to school.
That's when things turned nasty. She got in my way of the door so I couldn't leave for work. I told her to move and she refused. I tried to get by her and she pushed me. I picked up my cell phone to call the police. She grabbed the phone out of my hands. So I told my boyfriend to call the police with his phone. Then she gave me my phone, moved out of the way, and went to the bedroom and slammed the door. She began screaming and crying. I apologized to my boyfriend for having to witness her meltdown. He of course told me no problem and that I was doing the right thing. So we both left the house with difficult child screaming her head off. Then as I was about to leave for work in my car, I see difficult child at the window screaming at me to listen to her. So I rolled down the window, figuring maybe she changed her mind and decided to come to school. Instead she kept begging me to let her have the computer back after I got off work. I refused. Told her she had to go to school or it was no deal. She asked me if she could skip her morning classes and come to school later. I said no she needed to go to all of her classes. She still kept arguing. Finally I left her there screaming in the parking lot. When I got home from work she begged for the electronic privileges back but I held my ground. She was stuck the whole night watching TV in the living room with my boyfriend and I without any computer access. Normally she likes to stay on the computer for hours doing her graphic arts. It was complete torture for her to be denied computer access for an entire day and night. I thought she learned her lesson.
My boyfriend suggested I take away the electronics all week long and give them back only after she attended school for the rest of the week. I disagreed with him and thought that a full 24 hours of no computer access made her learn her lesson. So yesterday she had testing done at the hospital for her gallbladder. Afterwards she went to school without any arguments. So I gave her back computer and phone access yesterday after school. My boyfriend told me I was making a big mistake. My mom promised her that she would take her to the boys and girl's club Thursday after school so she could visit her old friends as long as she went to school for two days in a row. difficult child agreed. But then this morning she refused to get out of bed. Told me she didn't sleep well last night and she was tired. difficult child gets out of school at 1:35. She could easily make it through the school day then go home and take a nap after school. So I didn't feel sorry for her. I told her if she didn't get up and go, she would be losing the computer and phone till Friday after school when she goes to her dad's for the weekend. She didn't care. Told me to take everything away. She was tired and wanted to sleep. So I took the computer cord and her cell phone and put it in my desk at work in case she tries to talk me into giving them back to her. I am leaving them here until Friday night.
difficult child says she will be fine with it but I know she will be begging for it by the time I get home tonight. And when she doesn't get her own way things can turn ugly. But I am standing my ground. It is going to be a really rough three days. I am scared for her and what she might do. But the school psychiatric warned me that she would rebel and fight me until she finally realizes I am dead serious about her going to school. He is telling me to hang tough. So that is what I am going to do. Wish me lots of luck. It has been a very stressful week and it's about to get worse.
So I tried taking their advice and disconnecting the computer and taking the cord and the cell phone to work with me while she stayed home. I had been giving her back the computer privileges and cell phone after I got home from work. That wasn't enough to get her motivated to go back to school. So my boyfriend suggested I take away the computer, bedroom tv, and her cell phone for an entire 24 hours instead. So Monday morning, when she claimed she was too sick to go to school, I tried to motivate her. I hadn't even given her the pain or nausea medications yet. I told her I would give her the pills and she would start to feel better like she usually does, and she would be perfectly fine to make it through the school day. If she didn't feel well she could see the nurse. She still refused to go. So I told her I was taking away the computer, the bedroom tv, and the cell phone until the next morning. That's when she flipped out. Told me she needed the computer cause it's her therapy for her depression and anxiety. She told me there was no way she could make it an entire night without doing her art on the computer or listening to music on her cell phone. I told her sorry, no deal. If she can't live without the computer or her music that bad, then she could make it to school.
That's when things turned nasty. She got in my way of the door so I couldn't leave for work. I told her to move and she refused. I tried to get by her and she pushed me. I picked up my cell phone to call the police. She grabbed the phone out of my hands. So I told my boyfriend to call the police with his phone. Then she gave me my phone, moved out of the way, and went to the bedroom and slammed the door. She began screaming and crying. I apologized to my boyfriend for having to witness her meltdown. He of course told me no problem and that I was doing the right thing. So we both left the house with difficult child screaming her head off. Then as I was about to leave for work in my car, I see difficult child at the window screaming at me to listen to her. So I rolled down the window, figuring maybe she changed her mind and decided to come to school. Instead she kept begging me to let her have the computer back after I got off work. I refused. Told her she had to go to school or it was no deal. She asked me if she could skip her morning classes and come to school later. I said no she needed to go to all of her classes. She still kept arguing. Finally I left her there screaming in the parking lot. When I got home from work she begged for the electronic privileges back but I held my ground. She was stuck the whole night watching TV in the living room with my boyfriend and I without any computer access. Normally she likes to stay on the computer for hours doing her graphic arts. It was complete torture for her to be denied computer access for an entire day and night. I thought she learned her lesson.
My boyfriend suggested I take away the electronics all week long and give them back only after she attended school for the rest of the week. I disagreed with him and thought that a full 24 hours of no computer access made her learn her lesson. So yesterday she had testing done at the hospital for her gallbladder. Afterwards she went to school without any arguments. So I gave her back computer and phone access yesterday after school. My boyfriend told me I was making a big mistake. My mom promised her that she would take her to the boys and girl's club Thursday after school so she could visit her old friends as long as she went to school for two days in a row. difficult child agreed. But then this morning she refused to get out of bed. Told me she didn't sleep well last night and she was tired. difficult child gets out of school at 1:35. She could easily make it through the school day then go home and take a nap after school. So I didn't feel sorry for her. I told her if she didn't get up and go, she would be losing the computer and phone till Friday after school when she goes to her dad's for the weekend. She didn't care. Told me to take everything away. She was tired and wanted to sleep. So I took the computer cord and her cell phone and put it in my desk at work in case she tries to talk me into giving them back to her. I am leaving them here until Friday night.
difficult child says she will be fine with it but I know she will be begging for it by the time I get home tonight. And when she doesn't get her own way things can turn ugly. But I am standing my ground. It is going to be a really rough three days. I am scared for her and what she might do. But the school psychiatric warned me that she would rebel and fight me until she finally realizes I am dead serious about her going to school. He is telling me to hang tough. So that is what I am going to do. Wish me lots of luck. It has been a very stressful week and it's about to get worse.