BackintheSaddle
Active Member
Hello All- I want your opinion on something....I went to see my therapist today who's this 'no-nonsense' kind of older guy that my difficult child's psychiatrist recommended...it was this guy's idea to meet my difficult child weekly for breakfast just to keep the lines open between us and pay the difficult child his 'gas money' to and from school($20) ...in his opinion (the therapist), parents should try and help their kids get through college no matter what because in this day and age, you have to have a college degree (if you're younger) to make anything of yourself-- so, a college degree is the only way to assure the child succeeds (?)...we agreed that there was no reason for me to keep paying for difficult child's truck insurance (something I've struggled with on other threads-- my difficult child was claiming he'd have to drop classes at school to work enough to pay for it)...my husband came to this session because I wanted to talk about what happens when things 'go bad' again (I know difficult child will not keep doing as well as he appears now)...it was great to have him there...I told the therapist that I hadn't felt up to meeting my difficult child this week because I knew the only reason he was meeting me was to get the money and difficult child had refused to come to therapy....therapist says 'so what'...it's just $20 and you're getting to see him...he started explaining that the way brains develop makes it so until you're 21 you're not morally mature, which I know, so now money is my difficult child's motivator and I should be willing to pay him to meet me?...I said I thought that was sending the wrong message to him-- that he can keep using me (even if it is JUST $20), not care about me, not apologize or show remorse for attacking me and oh, here's $20 just so I could see you?....I would like to see him from time to time and let him know I'd help him if he's ever willing to agree to help...but is this an approach you guys have tried? agree with? (my husband doesn't agree with paying difficult child to see me)...I agree for the most part but I did tell my difficult child I'd help pay for gas to and from school...thoughts?