Son has most likely lost his job of 3 weeks. Got paid yesterday. Spent the day at his GFs yesterday. She is a depressed anorexic drug addicted cutter....he can sure pick em....I am sure her parents feel the same way. He spent last night and this morning hacking coughing vomiting and GI issues. Said he didn't get a call in for work. Who knows if he did or didn't. Dad asked to have a family lunch. He attended which was a surprise. Son had to go home and change because he had a bowel accident. He declared this is because he is detoxing from doing Poppers (pot and weed in a bong), for so long (he says since he was 15....he embellishes and I thing he has been doing this for at least a year). He claims to be doing no drugs at all. I am not so certain. After lunch he asked if he could go to his GFs and I said entirely up to you are you sure your well enough? He said perhaps a gluten free diet would help him (face palm, face palm, face palm). I dropped him off and a few hours later he informed me he will be staying over at a Friends house this evening. Again I asked him if he felt this wise. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea and he said he was going to. This friend is in a very rough area of the city in low income housing. He has the uniform of the drug cultured teen. I have a strong spidy sense that something is going to go terribly wrong tonight. I hope I am wrong. But at almost 18 you can't sit on them an babysit them 24/7. His choices his consequences. I feel like I am on a shoreline watching the great storm rolling in. I so pray my senses are wrong. I am soul searching and building the confidence to move forward. Each encounter and eqch day feels like a new chamber pull in a game of Russian Roulette. I truly dream of a day where by some miracle he wakes up and says this life is bullshit. It's making me sick and is dragging me down.....down....down. I have learned to have hope with no expectations. I am now strong enough to make him leave my home if he infiltrates our home and our lives with his addiction. I am ready to demand this be a untied front from my spouse. I hope for calm but prepare for the storm. Ok I am just going to put it out there. I have a strong intuitive sense that there is going to be a run in with the law tonight. I pray it is only fear driven paranoia. But with our CD Difficult Child it is so often all too common.