So my son has been living in sober housing since March 2013. He relapsed (was abusing his ADHD medication) in September 2013. He has been sober since then, over a year. He moved to his less restrictive housing in January. He's been working steadily at the grocery store for 7 months. We and SSI pay his rent.
Now he's campaigning to get a place of his own or with a roommate. He brings this up all the time about how the residents disturb his sleep and he doesn't like living with them, etc. Again and again, I tell him to talk to his caseworker. It's just not sinking in. I talked to his caseworker, and she feels he is not ready to move. He needs more developement of life skills and executive function ie money management, cooking, keeping up with laundry and chores, etc. She says she may call house manager, who difficult child does not like (on his case, everyone hates him, etc.) Caseworker says difficult child tells her he plays basketball regularly with some guy from the house, more involved in AA meetings. When I ask difficult child, it's like "just played basketball once" "did nothing this weekend" etc. Although he has started running and he says he is committed to that.
Thursday night he called me up (rare for him to call) and was proud of the fact that he took a bus and a train to his appointment in Hyde Park (hour and a half trip) and then took train and was able to find office for his next appointment north side of Loop for his aptitude testing (he gets lost sometimes and can have a hard time with multitasking due to his learning disability). Sounded good on the phone.
Now today, we pick him up to go out to dinner with his sister. Monosyllabic replies. He's depressed. He has a new roommate who disturbs his sleep.He's sick of the addicts who come in, relapse and cause lots of drama, and are kicked out. No, he can't talk to room mate. No, he can't talk to house manager. No, his floor is the best in the house. Yes, he wants to move. He's had enough of the sober living houses. He expects ME to fix the problem. (His father says he can live there for years as far as he's concerned. difficult child has a chilly relationship with my husband. Husband refused to enable him while he was living with us.)
Is this manipulation? Do you think I should call house manger to get the story?
We told him and I also sent text that he needs to develop life skills and devise a plan with case manager to eventually move out. Prefaced it by outlining all the good things he was doing.
I just need some perspective from you guys. The constant haranguing is really hard to take. This place is nice, clean, one block from the lake and convenient to bus and train.
Now he's campaigning to get a place of his own or with a roommate. He brings this up all the time about how the residents disturb his sleep and he doesn't like living with them, etc. Again and again, I tell him to talk to his caseworker. It's just not sinking in. I talked to his caseworker, and she feels he is not ready to move. He needs more developement of life skills and executive function ie money management, cooking, keeping up with laundry and chores, etc. She says she may call house manager, who difficult child does not like (on his case, everyone hates him, etc.) Caseworker says difficult child tells her he plays basketball regularly with some guy from the house, more involved in AA meetings. When I ask difficult child, it's like "just played basketball once" "did nothing this weekend" etc. Although he has started running and he says he is committed to that.
Thursday night he called me up (rare for him to call) and was proud of the fact that he took a bus and a train to his appointment in Hyde Park (hour and a half trip) and then took train and was able to find office for his next appointment north side of Loop for his aptitude testing (he gets lost sometimes and can have a hard time with multitasking due to his learning disability). Sounded good on the phone.
Now today, we pick him up to go out to dinner with his sister. Monosyllabic replies. He's depressed. He has a new roommate who disturbs his sleep.He's sick of the addicts who come in, relapse and cause lots of drama, and are kicked out. No, he can't talk to room mate. No, he can't talk to house manager. No, his floor is the best in the house. Yes, he wants to move. He's had enough of the sober living houses. He expects ME to fix the problem. (His father says he can live there for years as far as he's concerned. difficult child has a chilly relationship with my husband. Husband refused to enable him while he was living with us.)
Is this manipulation? Do you think I should call house manger to get the story?
We told him and I also sent text that he needs to develop life skills and devise a plan with case manager to eventually move out. Prefaced it by outlining all the good things he was doing.
I just need some perspective from you guys. The constant haranguing is really hard to take. This place is nice, clean, one block from the lake and convenient to bus and train.