I am a wreck this morning...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Sep 21, 2012.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Hi - well I am a mess this morning!! I have been checking my sons FB page. Somehow he is getting on FB now and then and in the middle of the night.... He did send me a nice message yesterday. I woke up this morning and he posted about how empty life is, how desolate and he is done fighting and suicide is the ultimate off switch. Scary stuff and he sounds suicidal!! Scares the stuff out of me!! I could not just stand by and do nothing!!! I sent him a message to please call my friend out there for help. And I also called the police in the area where I think he is. Problem of couse is I dont know where he is and he is in LA which is a huge city... the police were nice to me as I am crying on the phone. They will send a car out and look at the parks and put out a general message to be on the lookout for him. But if they cant find him there is nothing they can do. He may end up furious with me for calling the police but really I couldnt sit here and see a message like that and do nothing.

    This put me over the edge..... I am crying my eyes out and I need to get myself together to go to work this morning.

    So send good vibes that somehow he will get help.

  2. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    (((HUGS))) I have no advice, just sending you wishes for peace...I know exactly how agonizing this is. I am so sorry. It is awful to watch them be so miserable but we all know that is what it is going to take. It is so hard. (((HUGS)))
  3. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Hugs, TL. There's not much you can do now but wait and pray. We're right here with you, doing both.
  4. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Thinking of you T. Sending you love & strength. Please stay on touch XOXO
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am praying for your difficult child and sending him all the positive energy that I can. I know this is so unbearable for you and I am worried about you all. You have done everything you can and now you have to put your faith in your higher power. Our difficult child's have the ability to get through some very difficult times. I'm praying this is one of them.

    I remember the time when difficult child was staying with a very rough crowd and she was drinking 24/7 and having sex with all the guys and was really strung out and I was desperate to get her away from them. I texted this low life guy I knew she was with and he told me she was an adult and they now owned her and I couldn't do anything about it. I was crazy with fear and cried my eyes out and husband finally had to call him and threaten to have him arrested.

    TL we all care about you and love you. You are part of our family and our difficult children are tied together in this dark world of addiction. When one of our difficult child's are in trouble we all hurt. You are close in our thoughts. If our will could save him you know we would.

  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So sorry TL, sending prayers for his safe surfacing and some peace for you. (((HUGS))))
  7. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Adding my thoughts and prayers, TL
  8. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    So sorry. I hope he turns up quick and is safe. I can't even imagined how worried you have to be. I had my own scare last night over missing difficult child and circumstances were much less scary and still I was a wreck.

    I will pray for both of you.
  9. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Prayers said, TL.

    I hope you hear from him soon.

  10. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    You must be horrified. I would've called the police, too, and I'm glad they were kind to you. What I am specifically praying for in difficult child's case is that if he is truly suicidal, that he will pull back from the brink and recognize he's loved, he needs help, and will reach for it this time, and hang on, despite the forces pulling him down. I'm so sorry the world is such a dark place for him right now, and please know I'll be praying hard for all of you. Peace, love and hugs...(P.S. I'm sorry you had to go to work in this condition today.)
  11. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    I feel your pain. I'm going through the same thing and have in the past. When I did call the police and they checked on him they asked if he was suicidal and he said no so they left. The police did show me the courtesy of calling me back to let me know.

    It is a hard place to be. There is nothing more that you can do, we have no control over the situation.
    (((hugs and blessings)))
  12. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    TL: I am so sorry for your pain. I am praying for your difficult child, and I hope he is safe. I know all about the worry and anxiety, and It is such a terrible feeling. Sending many hugs to you....
  13. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I am so heart broken for you and for your son. I pray that he will get it together. Wrapping loving arms around your family.
  14. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What's going on TL? Have you heard anything? I hope you were able to stop crying and find a few minutes today to have some hope. Know I'm thinking about you.

  15. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    I hope your difficult child is just expressing how he feels and doesn't go through with harming himself. My difficult child would talk about wanting to end everything but it was just his way to explain how he felt. Luckily for us, he went into a residential program and they worked with him on how to express himself without sounding suicidal. My heart goes out to you as I know you are hurting and rightfully so. Hugs to you & your family.
  16. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Thanks Everyone.... I am hanging in there...close to tears most of the time but I am ablel to get distracted which helps. I went to work this morning which was actually a good thing because it was distracting and then an oral surgeon visit with my easy child to check wisdom teeth and a visit to the vet with the dog.... better probably than sitting home alone today.

    I did call the friend out there and talked to him. I suggested he send my difficult child a friend request and message on FB which he did... so he reached out to difficult child and I am just hoping difficult child will reach back! At least there is someone there that can be a resource. I am trying to tell myself that no news from the police is good news... means they havent found him which may be a good thing. And my difficult child is somehow able to get on FB in the middle of the night so he cant literally be on the street all the time.. the library is not open 24 hours a day!! And difficult child does change mood fairly quickly so hopefully he was being dramatic and expressing his feelings but wont really do anything... it was hard to tell from the FB message what his intent was.

    Thanks for all your hugs and support. It means a lot to me.

  17. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm thinking of you during this difficult time

  18. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    TL,I am thinking of you and hoping you are ok. I also hope that your difficult child is ok as well. All their choices belong to them.Unfortunately,those choices affect us. I know the fear well. I am hoping that you can find some respite for your heart andthat he will reach out to your friend. ((Hugs))
  19. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Another here thinking of you this morning.
    I continue to keep your difficult child in my prayers...Sure are alot of them going out for our difficult child's lately!

    Good job on calling friend to help.
    You never stop do ya? You are a terrific mom, TL.
    I'm waiting long side you to hear from son...

  20. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm hoping this was just a dramatic post and that he has calmed down and is in a better place in his head. Not to minimize at all the seriousness of this but our difficult children somehow survive some pretty awful experiences. He needs help TL, but it looks like he's going to have to get it when he decides he's ready. You are giving him every opportunity to reach out and grab the help.

    Last edited: Sep 22, 2012