Welcome!
I completely understand how you're feeling. It is very overwhelming. There is so much information here. I think early on I had problems with changing my parenting intuitions. I had to change the way I saw and reacted to things and pick my battles. It's important to me that I have as much peace in my house as possible. It's definitely not giving in. It's approaching from a different angle. The book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene really opened my eyes to ODD. Page after page I just kept thinking, OMG, this is my child. I AM NOT ALONE! Best to you in your search for help and understanding.