Is there any hope?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Rosie67, Dec 29, 2015.

  1. Rosie67

    Rosie67 Member

    i am wondering if it is appropriate to ask if anyone has good news stories of their children Beating addiction and living problem free? Sort of need some hope.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My daughter.

    Used from age 12 (yes,, twelve) to nineteen and did it all. Meth, ADHD medications crushed into a pillcrusher and snorted, cocaine, psychodelics, a few times s he tried heroin (this taught me a lesson. I thought heroin addicted you the first time, but she did not inject it with a needle. I guess that's worse, according to her). Meth was her big one.

    At nineteen she went to live with her straight-arrow brother. It was that or the streets and I'm glad she didn't need the streets. But she knew that this brother would gladly show her the door if she so much as lit up a cigarette. She had no car. Brothers rules were, she cooked and cleaned (he had boarders in his house too) and got a job, no car or not, and no substances in the house. She had to pay rent and living space was mostly in his large basement. One strike she'd be out.

    My daughter was sick of the drug life. She listened to him! (She had not listened to us). She got a job and walked back and forth in Chicago weather. She was promoted to store manager. She met her boyfriend and that was her only friend because she did not want to hang out with drug users. She eventually paid herself to go back to school to become a pastry chef and was so good at it she won awards. She bought a house with her boyfriend and now, after twelve years, lives with him in that house, drug free, with their baby daughter, my precious granddaughter. She rocks as a mother.

    Nothing we tried to do to help her did any good. She had to decide to quit on her own. Her brother could not have influenced her if she had not been so tired of the drug life (her words).

    She is back to being herself again...sweet as pie, extremely bright, a devoted mother, a wonderful daughter and her and her boyfriend basically stay home and don't ever party. It's hard now to believe she ever did seems so long ago and she is so different. Just a regular housewife, whose family eats REALLLY well as s he cooks REALLY good, nutritious food. She is into organics and hates to even take an aspirin. She quit cigarettes too and won't let anyone smoke in the house.

    There is your happy story and it can happen to anyone's adult child.

    Keep the Faith!!!!!! ;)
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PG on our forum here, her daughter has gone through rehab and is drug free.
  4. SandalsNShades

    SandalsNShades New Member

  5. SandalsNShades

    SandalsNShades New Member

    How encouraging! We need to hear more success stories like these. Thkq so much!
  6. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    OK My son is not yet a success story..... But in my life I have known two people who inspired me and give me hope. One was a guy who was the son of a friend of my moms. He was my age. He was a heroin addict for 27 years, did time in prison etc etc. And he got clean and started running a sober house and he was a great help to my son (and to me) at one point. So he got clean and stayed sober after 27 years of using!!

    The other was a client of mine who when I knew her was a recovering heroin addict. The last time I saw her I knew she was relapsing and then I didn't hear from her. When I was getting ready to retire I wondered about her because I had not heard from her and wondered if she was dead. I ran into someone who knew her and said she was doing really well and I told them to tell her to cal me ASAP. She called and she has really really turned her life around and is doing wonderfully. She had relapsed but then got some serious treatment, got clean and had been clean for almost 2 years. It was so inspiring.

    So yes it does happen..... And it gives me hope. And I know watching my son he is closer to really wanting recovery then ever before.... I just don't know if he is there yet.
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL reminded me, I know several in my personal life that have recovered from addiction. One in particular I will discuss here. When my daughter was in rehab there was a young man who had been there a couple weeks before her. They were both the youngest ones there, just out of high school. I will call this young man Mark. He came from a good family, went to a private boys school, had every opportunity possible and yet used every drug he could get his hands on. He also began cutting because of his anxiety. He and my daughter became friends. He would send my daughter notes in rehab (against the rules of course) and wanted to continue seeing her after they got out.

    I liked this young man a lot but have to say I was afraid he would relapse and be a bad influence on my daughter. Indeed he did relapse, just like my daughter did. But he went into a sober house determined to succeed this time and he did. He not only stayed clean and sober, he got a job, went to college and just graduated with a bachelor's degree. He continues to be involved in the recovery community and is now a sponsor to several other men in the program.

    I wish my daughter was interested in him more than just a friend. He would be a wonderful influence on her and I am convinced his sobriety means more to him that anything in the world. I became very good friends with his mom and I continue to tell her what a remarkable young man he is.

    There are miracles every day. When I went to the open AA meetings it gave me much hope to hear their stories of recovery.
  8. Tymica

    Tymica Member

    While my son has also not reached the other side yet, I have 2 great examples of hope in my life that I turn to when I ask "Will this ever end?" My aunt was a very successful adult, educated with a master's degree, wonderful job making 6 figures a year, no kids or husband. She lived a very hard partying type of life with her money, and became addicted to heroin. Reduced to working as a cashier in a book store, then began stealing books for returns in a scheme for drug money. Ended up living in her car, in and out of jail for YEARS. In the last 3 years, she has turned her life totally around. Living clean and sober, eating organic, works in a natural food store who was willing to give her a 2nd chance even with her bad past and she has worked her way up to a handsome living once again. She just bought her first home (in her 40's) and is engaged!
    Also, my own husband. He was addicted to cocaine and an alcoholic. I never knew him during those times, he got clean before I ever met him. He never hit a "rock bottom" as most addicts do, and didn't have to. He said he woke up one morning after a weekend binge and for the first time he blacked out and couldn't remember what he did or how he ended up at home. It was enough to scare him and he has never touched cocaine since that day. He would still have an occasional drink, but in the last 10 years or so, he refuses even that anymore.

    So yes, people can come through this awful life-stealing disease, but unlike other diseases, they have to choose to.
  9. TheWalrus

    TheWalrus I Am The Walrus

    I have a close family member who was a self-described "junkie" for 20 years. TWENTY. Amazing to still be alive after that many years, that many drugs, and that many close calls. Was literally NOTHING this person wouldn't try - and in large doses. Often without a job or car, evicted from more places than you can imagine, jail - you name it. Parents tried over and over and over to intervene and "save" - giving money, cars, a roof, paying rent for a roof, buying clothes/groceries/necessities - to the point of emotionally, physically and financially bankrupting themselves. They had to stop because they had nothing left to give. Truly nothing. Once that was gone, it forced FM to figure it out. Drifted and couch surfed for awhile and when there was no one left to "give," that was the rock bottom needed and cleaned self up. Has been clean almost two years. I had given up hope and had sat back and watched in frustration for years while this all played out.

    When this all began to happen with my own Difficult Child, FM contacted me and flat said, "You can't save her. My parents didn't. She has to save herself. Let her go." I keep that message and re-read it when I falter or feel myself want to give in. Because that is a message from someone who was the Difficult Child and with all honesty tells me that enabling, fixing and rescuing only hurts me and will never help Difficult Child.

    So yes, there is hope. For us and our children.
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  10. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Hi TW, just wanted to say, welcome to the forum. Sorry for your need to be here, the "club" that nobody wants to is a good place to be for folks like us, who have been there, done that and then some.
    Thank you for your very insightful posts, Tdub, stay with us and keep on posting, it really helps. Thank you especially for this post, it reminds me, there is always hope, and that we are helping our d cs, by not helping them.

    Hang in there Rosie, there is always hope......

    Take care
  11. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Check out Child of Mine's signature. Her son has come a long way. Multiple rehab, arrests, hospitalizations. He is now working and in an apprenticeship.

    Our guy has been sober since October, has managed to hold on to his job for 21 months, and faithfully goes to his therapist and psychiatrist and takes his medications. He gets along with his dad so much better these days, maybe because I took a hard line( for me, that is, not my nature).

    They can go two steps back, one step forward. Progress is slow. It can be like watching paint dry. So frustrating.
  12. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Yes there is hope - as long as there is life there is always hope! My daughter has come a long, long way!! She and her son are home after almost a year in rehab and things are going better than I thought they would. She is a very hard worker, helps around the house and gives back. She paid her entire stay at rehab and she is very proud of that. She has made life long friends from the ministry she stayed at and still attends meetings once a week (which she loves - she loves helping others and right now she is trying to decide what she wants to be in life. She is now thinking about becoming a drug counselor.). She and husband have such a great relationship now - I never dreamed they would get along so well!
    So yes, there is hope. Unfortunately they have to want it, daughter wanted to be with her son. He was her reason to fight this. If she never had a child, I can't honestly say she would have gotten to this point. Not yet anyway. Trust me, I always thought there was something I hadn't said yet that would click and make her want to stop. I wanted to save her so bad! But it wasn't until she got into the right treatment program and started battling the demons that made her want to use in the first place that she would be successful. She has been clean for almost 15 months now and is a changed woman. I pray for this for all our children. That they find the want to battle those demons and overcome this baffling disease...
  13. JMom

    JMom Active Member

    Hi and welcome! My brother was drunk from the time he was 14-44. He just recently hit one year sobriety. He has teeth (dentures) for the first time in about 15 years. He got his wife and kids back, a relationship with my parents and his first full-time job that lasted more than 30 days.

    Certainly hard work on his part. He's so funny, a great singer &song
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  14. JMom

    JMom Active Member

    Singer and sing writer - not professionally. It's an amazing transformation!
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