Just to relieve stress...an organizational whine that you don't have to read, lol.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DDD, Sep 30, 2011.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Had a Board meeting yesterday and I could barely wait to get out of there. In fact I reminded the new President twice that we had to exit the borrowed conference room at 5 and his response was "Oh, you're right" and then continued talking. This man is not a bad man. He is attractive and a very hard worker particularly in the pysical realm but OMG he's driving me nuts.

    He is a retired law enforcement honcho who has repeatedly told me "if it's not in writing" it just doesn't exist. That was his mantra in law enforcement I guess so he would be prepared for Court etc. But I have given him everything in writing...and he just doesn't remember. Our annual fund raising event is coming up 10/9. I provided a typed review of all the different materials, jobs and volunteers needed to complete prep. Yesterday an officer said near the end of the meeting "X wouldn't it be helpful to have a check list for the event so everyone knows what they are suppose to do?" His response, "Oh yeah that probably would help." WTH. I really wanted to scream "where to H is the list that you and I reviewed two months ago that "is in writing".

    His intentions are good....but I think he is Learning Disability (LD). During the meeting (not before or after) he started asking husband questions about the organizations founding, accomplishments and goals because he has gotten himself scheduled to appear on the radio "and he is going to ask me tough questions". OK, ready for this???? he sent me an email asking the same questions last week. I gave him the answers and referred him to OUR website which has all the answers, OUR brochure which has all the answers and then on the phone, when asked, added possible responses to other questions.

    The event will turn out fine I'm sure but turning over the the job has not turned out to be relaxing for me. Understatement! He's been President for eight months and doesn't "know" the names or occupations of at least three Board members. Doesn't remember the names of the Chamber leaders and has no idea what their mission might be. Lordy...give me strength and patience. DDD
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    He sounds like a knucklehead on a power trip!

    Lord, give our DDD strength!!!
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'm voting senility or alzhimers or something like that.
    Major short-term memory problems.

    How on earth do you deal with that, though... tough enough when its family!
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Sounds like the wrong guy for the job, unless he's a great schmoozer and when in the limelight these things aren't noticed. Some ppl are really good at that even though essentially they are completely clueless.
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Just curious... what is your role on the board? Secretary?
    If so, can you ask at the next board meeting if you can send the paperwork to ALL board members and not just the President?
    "So that everybody has time to look at things and think about them before we meet..."

    Just tossing stuff out there...
  6. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Sounds like your sense of humour is going to be key to your survival with this chap :)
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I was the P and am now the VP so I can help him. Yikes, this week I'm feeling that he beyond help. He truly is not a bad man. He has never done volunteer work before and he is a former law enforcement officer. That is a bad combo.
    Purposely I have stifled myself so that he could "lead" but the son of a gun just doesn't get it. He has the energy and the intent but he's lacking sooooooo many skills of leadership that it is scarey. I am guessing that he got thru school, joined the Force, and was absorbed by "the system". I'm really skilled (note the modesty, lol) as a leader who listens and communicates. He, on the other hand, is accustomed to being a honcho and doesn't "get" that it is different having a paid force under you as opposed to leading a force to go with you.

    My husband who is a quiet and reserved leader said tonight "let's not even talk about x because it gives me chills to think we have turned the organization over to complete idiots". Hmmm...that is about it in a nutshell. DDD
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is time to find a salesperson's order pad with double or triple carbonless copies. I have used these in various similar situation, including kids who "forgot". You write it down and give him the original. Put a copy in a file with his name on it, and keep one on the pad if you have 3 copies. Then that file goes with you to each meeting. You can then pull otu the copy and say he got it on X date, can't have yoru copy, it is for the file, but he has one in his office or possession. If he needs another, make a xerox and note (before you xerox it) that it is the 2nd copy of this paper, given on date whatever.

    Otherwise he is simply going to keep insisting you haven't given it to him. With all the records, and your proof that he had it already, it will either get him motivated to keep track or at some point embarrass him when you ask what happened to the other X copies, here it is in writing that you gave it to him. his "it doesn't exist if it isn't in writing" is a law enforcement way of promising something to someone to get info or a confession and then not giving what was promised and the other party has to prove it was promised - and who could take their word over the honcho's word. It is NOT about getting ready for court, it is about playing games. I thought the way you did until a friend's dad, who is a deputy, explained it to me. A LOT of law enforcement officers do what he is doing. It is one reason many interrogation rooms are now covered by cameras - keeps both sides from lying about what happened in there.
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    We use those pads at work. He does not deny having the information, however, he doesn't use the guidelines. I gave him full checklists etc. last year when he was event chair and I was President so he would know what all was involved. When he was elected (and I was delighted to have someone willing to take over) I gave him an album. It included the breakdown, list of responsibilities, publicity contacts etc. with each page encased in plastic slip-in sheets so he could read and reference. Not.

    Oh well, enough whining. It will turn out. I'm asking questions and feeding the info in small bites. I'm sure if you are a 55 male retired officer it must be irritating to have a 70 year old woman trying to aim or direct you. He is fit and not afraid of hard physical labor...something I can't say for husband and me. Somehow I have to find a new leader b/4 January and have him slip back to event chair with-o it being a big deal. Or I have to find a details oriented VP who will fill in the gaps.

    On a very personal note I feel for the defendant's who have dealt with that police mindset. Yeah I am no longer open minded about "the system". I just didn't anticipate that this would be such a big problem. Hoping for a beautiful weather day next Saturay and a fun event. It will not be a money maker for the first time but with the economy and the lack of assertiveness from the Board I guess that is to be expected. We can afford to take the loss IF the event triggers interest and participation...and I hope some new potential leaders! easy child and her husband are coming from Atlanta as it is her birthday. It will be wonderful to see them. DDD
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    hmmm, he sounds just like the kind of guy who should get a promotion...that's how it is in any of the businesses I have worked for.

    Seriously though, maybe keep a file of "things I have already given in writing to Pres."

    could be a little wearing I guess. hope it helped a little to let it out.