More lies...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by ksm, May 21, 2017.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I just caught my 16yo Difficult Child in a bunch of lies. The last time I posted about her failing a random UA...meth...again. She had 10 days of house arrest (could attend school). And the past week she had a 6pm curfew. Last night, a guy friend wanted her to go to a rodeo. But it was after curfew...so we all went. We let them sit by each other, and we set in a different bleacher section. It went well. This kid seems decent, is a CMA, and works for his dad is a family business.

    But today, she had another friend pick her up. We have met this kid also... But the vehicle parked two houses down, was not the same vehicle he drove several months ago. And the kicker is...he's black, but the arm I could see on the drivers side window opening was not black.

    She did have GPS on and a few minutes later she texted they stopped at his friends house for a few minutes. I checked GPS, and I knew which house...she had been hanging out there last fall. When she was using.

    I confronted her via texts that it was odd that his friend lived in the old crack house. She replied that he lived in the house on the corner. I told her if she was going to hang with her druggy friends she shouldn't lie about it...That I didn't have time to keep playing the same games. That I would hire a detective, using the funds I had set aside for college, because if she was back in that circle, she wouldn't need money for her education.

    Then she texted her dad, and wanted to come over and talk to him. He sent me a screen shot of her complaining that I was going to hire a private detective and waste all her college $. His reply...then stop lying. Then she tried to manipulate him, saying thanks for not being there for her. He replied...stop playing the victim. Yes!!

    Now she said she is coming back home. I reminded her that I have the tag number for the Lincoln Navigator she left in and not to even THINK of running away.

    And last week...she snowballed the social workers with how well she was doing, and they were going to ask the court to drop the level of services. Nope. I am contacting them tomorrow.

    I don't know if she used or not... But she knows I am not going to play a charade.

    Gloves are off...

    Ksm
     
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Good news...daughter has asked to go to inpatient treatment. She has left a message for her court services officer to call her tomorrow. I hope they follow thru... They have threatened her with it...but she is asking to go.

    Ksm
     
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    When my youngest had his back against the wall, he would want to go inpatient. His juvenile po was on top of this tactic. He would be drug tested and had to comply with all the regulations of probation. It also added time to probation.
     
  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I hope they send her. I think getting away from here and concentrating on her will help. I know there are no guarantees. She brought down a lightbulb that she had turned in to a way to smoke meth. And a lighter. Then she asked if I had found a razor blade that was in a small container. (I had found last week)

    I watched her delete and block FB friends that were part of her drug friends. She actually contacted her PO on his FB page and told him to contact her this morning.

    I think she is serious... Ksm
     
  5. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    I hope so too KSM..I will be sending positive prayers!
     
  6. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I sure hope so too. She is so young and on a very dangerous path!
     
  7. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Thud...thud...thud...ouch!! That's me banging my head on the wall.

    Talked to PO and he doesn't have any authority to send her to inpt treatment. I talked to the social worker from family preservation that the court ordered, they can't either.

    I called the substance abuse counselor and had to leave a message.

    I called the case manager and had to leave a message.

    I called the actual treatment center, and since I have not yet received the SED waiver Medical Card, we will be on a cash basis. I have to pay 1/3 of the almost $10,000 cost up front. No guarantee that even after the medical card comes thru that I will get any of that back.

    Called the local DCF office and was told I need to call the state level office. Tried that and couldn't even decide which prompt to select, as there was no "press zero for a customer service rep" option.

    I can't jump thru all the hoops when no one is holding them up for me to jump thru!!!

    Ksm
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Call the state number and press option 1. Talk to whomever answers. If it isn't the right person, ask them which number to call to get the right person. If they don't tell you, call the number and press option 2. Then option 3. I had to do this when we had the state children's insurance and needed to send Wiz to residential psychiatric care. I think I went through all the options on the menu once and started a second time before someone broke down and gave me the info I needed. They saw that I was NOT going to give up and stop bothering them until they did something. Persistence really does pay off. Of course it is a PITA for you, but it can work.

    I am sorry she is into drugs this deep, and lying about it.
     
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  9. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I did get thru to a real person at the state office. I was told to have the mental health facility fax the application to them, then the person who faxes the info is to call them 30 minutes later and tell them what number it was faxed from and how many pages.

    I did get a call back from the Substance abuse counselor...and she has also sent messages to the people in their office.

    I called the facility back and left a message with the person who I have talked to earlier. I asked about their billing practices. I remembered a medical clinic who made me pay a copay up front, even though we had a medical card as secondary, and I never did get reimbursed by Medicaid or the clinic.

    What they did was make me pay the copay upfront, sent remainder of bill to BCBS, with the write offs and their payment, it left a zero balance. So even if they sent it to Medicaid, they won't pay on a zero balance!! They $crew you coming and going.

    The facility charges $345. A day. I bet they don't break it down to things that could be filed to BCBS. My insurance would pay for psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, labs, etc. but I bet it isn't billed that way at all.

    Makes me want to drink... Ksm
     
  10. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    After many calls yesterday and again this morning I finally learned that the paperwork we did a week ago was just faxed in this morning to get my child the SED waiver for medical card. It takes about 20 days and I thought we had already knocked five or six days off of that.

    The problem is 28 days in this facility cost $9600. And none of it is covered by our primary insurance. But it would be covered by having a medical card.Because I won't have any proof of the medical card probably for at least a couple weeks I am required to put 3200 down on the date of admission and an additional payment of 3200 on the day she's dismissed And an additional 3200 one month later.

    This is why I was frantically calling and trying to find out if they received our application at the state office for the SED waiver. I feel fairly confident that we will receive this waiver otherwise I would need to wait until we actually had confirmation of coverage.

    So right now they have an opening on Tuesday next week for my daughter. I can put the 3200 on my credit card. Then I can withdraw 3200 from my 401(k) So I won't have interest put on my credit card. That gives them another four weeks to send me the medical card. I don't think I would have to make a second payment of 3200 on dismissal.

    I am so mad at her probation officer, technically court supervision officer, for threatening her with this for an unclean UAs. And for the social workers from the state agency from family preservation that said she could be sent to one of these agencies to help her get clean. And for the workers at our local mental health facility who also thought it would be a good idea.

    So Sunday when my daughter finally admitted to us she needed help wanted help and wanted to go away from this town and concentrate on getting better I thought we finally had an answer. But I am the one that has to finance it and do all the paperwork because none of these agencies can do this.

    My only other option is to have the court supervision officer petition the court to make her ward of the state which would then immediately give her a medical card but that would mean setting up a court date which could still take one to three weeks. During that time she would have to stay in lock up.

    It just doesn't seem fair that when someone's ready for treatment especially a minor that there's so many hoops to jump through it's almost impossible.

    Ksm
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2017
  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    It does sound lime she wants the help. I'm so sorry that you are having to jump through so many hoops.
     
  12. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I finally got confirmation that the state has received our application.

    Now the waiting game begins.

    I will work on getting what we need done for the admission. And notify VISA of the large charge on my card coming up next week. Because it would be very unusual charge and red flags might come up.
     
  13. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    I'm so sorry KSM. I dont know if this is relevant, but ours was 345.00 day. We were told BCBS did not cover it either, but then we were getting statements that they were billing them and insurance was partial paying. We called and and founsd out we had almost an 8000.00 credit..OMG So when were people going to refund our money they were sitting on. They used some of it for out patient, but wholly molly.....

    I am very wary now of treatment and all medical bills. We are one who reads all our mail!
     
  14. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    BCBS told me that this facility is not an in network provider...so no benefits at all.

    Ksm
     
  15. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    Unfortunately drugs is a big lucrative business for everybody involved - except for the people whose lives are destroyed by them and those who love them. Sorry you're having these problems, hope you and your daughter get the help you need.