Just joined, not sure how to get to post I read prior to registering?
My son is 38, been in and out of psyc wards since 14, he is bipolar and chemically dependent.. He is and has been unemployable. I have provided support, financial and emotional support for years, up untill approximately five years ago, when I had to choose between me or him, I chose myself, knowing I would be of no value to anyone if I lost myself...
He is surely a victim of his illness, and I was being victimized by his illness. He has options, however refuses them, his motto is " no comply" he is consistent at not complying with anything, he is or will be homeless again soon.
He needs structure, unfortunately the only structure that I see in his future is prison, or death.
I am in therapy and have been for quite sometime.
It is still hard to dodge group discussions in the workplace, where people are talking about how great there children are doing, or there beautiful grandchildren experiences. The last thing in life I want is grandchildren...
Hopes and dreams for my beautiful, cute, handsome son have diminished, grief is brutal, as is life at times....
If he gets help and stabilizes, I would reunite, but not until then. I am grateful to a brother that has experience and tolerance for the chemically dependent. I provide money to my brother to do with it as he sees fit, without letting my son know that I am contributing, because my son would be asking for more from me and bothering me a abusive manner.
I hope I am using this forum as intended, not looking for advice, just sharing my experience, it helps to vent......
My son is 38, been in and out of psyc wards since 14, he is bipolar and chemically dependent.. He is and has been unemployable. I have provided support, financial and emotional support for years, up untill approximately five years ago, when I had to choose between me or him, I chose myself, knowing I would be of no value to anyone if I lost myself...
He is surely a victim of his illness, and I was being victimized by his illness. He has options, however refuses them, his motto is " no comply" he is consistent at not complying with anything, he is or will be homeless again soon.
He needs structure, unfortunately the only structure that I see in his future is prison, or death.
I am in therapy and have been for quite sometime.
It is still hard to dodge group discussions in the workplace, where people are talking about how great there children are doing, or there beautiful grandchildren experiences. The last thing in life I want is grandchildren...
Hopes and dreams for my beautiful, cute, handsome son have diminished, grief is brutal, as is life at times....
If he gets help and stabilizes, I would reunite, but not until then. I am grateful to a brother that has experience and tolerance for the chemically dependent. I provide money to my brother to do with it as he sees fit, without letting my son know that I am contributing, because my son would be asking for more from me and bothering me a abusive manner.
I hope I am using this forum as intended, not looking for advice, just sharing my experience, it helps to vent......