Background: Kicked my 18 y/o son out of the house in October due to substance abuse and increasing aggression. Cut his phone off (and cancelled my own phone) when he left me increasingly angry and unhinged voice mails and texts, including calling me a "f***ing c***" because I didn't pack his belongings the way he thought I should when I spent nearly $400 to ship all his stuff down to him at his father's house. . I haven't responded to any of his subsequent attempts at communication because they were more of same. But today, I got this, which while not as apologetic as I would like, and completely ignores his own behavior, is at least civil: His email: "Mom I wish you'd call me. We should talk its been three months and I haven't heard a word from you. And Ironically, I miss you. I think it might have to with the nine months preceding labor. But nonetheless, I miss you." My response: "I don't have your new phone number. I miss you too, but I don't miss being ranted and cursed at, or trying to talk to you when you are high or drunk. Which is the primary reason you haven't heard from me. The sarcasm, contempt, demands and name calling of your last several attempts at communicating are unacceptable. If you feel like you can stay sober and civil when you talk to me, then I am willing to give you a call. But if not, I'd prefer to just trade emails for a while. Let me know. Mom." How he responds to that will determine how I proceed. I suspect what's going on is that living with his father and being broke all the time has palled, and he's looking either to move back in or get a handout. Or both. Honestly, I'm still pretty ok not talking to him, because I still don't trust him to be sober/drug free and not to treat me poorly and be a jerk, and I just don't have the stomach for it anymore. Three months isn't long enough for real change, and I don't hear anything in what he wrote to give me a lot of hope. But at least he was reasonably polite, if whiny, and I figured I should at least respond. My stomach is in knots. I hope I'm wrong about what's going on, but I'm not really holding my breath.