GM, I want to echo what RE said above. I know it seems overwhelming to have to start something else new when you are exhausted already and it's not YOU that is doing all of this crazy stuff. Actually, the day you decide you need help is a very great day. Just like it will be for difficult child, when that day finally comes. We all need help. This life is just too hard to deal with, without help, especially for many of us here on this board. GM, if you will start the work on yourself, you will get so much more back than you put into it. It is amazing how it all returns to you, and even one day, you might look up and say: Oh, so THAT's why all of this happened, so I would grow in this way. I have heard people in Al-Anon say that they are grateful for the alcoholic, because he/she pushed them into Alanon by their behavior. That's how great it can be. Warm hugs. I am so sorry for your pain.