Someone hand me a spork, please.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Abbey, May 15, 2009.

  1. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    I just spent 4 hours watching training videos to be a bakery person. Now, mind you, not one second had anything to do with a bakery job. It was all about company history (like I care), OSHA...oh, gee...should I mop up that spill or just leave it there? Hmmm...that's a tough question. Give me a few minutes.

    Should I leave a stranded cart in the parking lot, or should I put it in the cart station. Geez...I don't know again. The cart will eventually blow away.

    If somebody slips on fallen grapes, do I run screaming, call the police, or notify a manager? The kicker on this scenario is that you are not supposed to leave the customer. do I notify management if I'm not supposed to leave the customer and document all witnesses? Do I just start yelling? HELP, HELP!! MAN DOWN ON AISLE 2!!!:surprise:

    Oh, my.

  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Fun, fun, fun! NOT! Sorry you had to endure such horrible videos!
  3. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    laughing about the man down scenario. don't forget to get out the yellow caution tape. Hope day two will be better.

  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I can laugh because I've been there done that soooooo many times. *snort*

    At the drug store I worked for I not only had to sit thru these idiotic videos......but there were (I kid you not) exams after each one, and if you had to sit thru it again. OMG Believe me I passed the first time. And still had 3 days of this junk!!! :faint:

    Oh, then later on down the road.......... Store had a policy that cashiers had to stay behind the counter to always be ready to check someone out. Good in theory I guess. But our store was NEVER busy (except xmas season) so I'd stand there for 8 hrs dying of pure boredom and beg the manager to please let me stock shelves!!! He always looked at me as if I'd lost my mind........and always said no. ugh! It's a wonder I lasted there 6 months. God forbid an employee actually wants to work for their pay. sheesh

    How long is this supposed to last? Do you actually get to start baking tomorrow?
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    IF someone slips on fallen grapes?

    I had no idea grapes had a propensity for falling.

    Evil grapes are we talking white, red, or black - seedless or seeded?

    I certainly don't want to by the ones that spend time rolling around on the ground to hurt humans.

    Does this mean raisins are just older difficult child versions of grapes?

    Are THEY dangerous?

    What IS the proper way to pick up a fallen grape?

    When a grape falls does it get a 12 step program for falling off the wagon or does it go to the greater good and become - Merlot?

    So, I guess when someone says can you decorate a birthday cake - the proper response is "no, NO I didn't see any tapes about decorating. But I do know how to spot an evil grape."

    Nice -

    Put the grape in the cart that is blowing across the parking lot.

  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member are too funny!!!
    Yep, been there done that too many times to count. Still doing it! Since I took the new job, I have numerous "classes" to attend.
    Seriously these seminars are made for morons.
    You should be able to "test out" of having to take these stupid work in.........I am freaking 50 years old and if I don't know what to do if a grape causes an accident than you can take me out back and shoot me.
    Oh spork.......... where are you??????:mad:
  7. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Well, according the very informative videos I had to watch, grapes ring up as number 1 accident issue. Wesson Oil #2. How you could possible break a plastic jar of oil is beyond me. The evil grapes fall (people snatch them all the time and let a few fall) then someone not looking down steps on them...squish, hence fall.

    Daisy...there was NO way to fast forward through these videos. Trust me - I tried. The idiotic thing was at the end of each video you had a test. If you missed an answer they made you watch that part of the video and retake that question. A moron could make 100%. by the way - I only missed one question. I couldn't remember if it was the red or green bucket to put sanitizer in.

    Start baking on Monday. I'm so excited. (Insert sarcasm.)

  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member


    There are numerous ways to break a Wesson oil bottle for those among us who dont know this. One is you can have your attention distracted by various things such as children, hot men or women, noisy music or shoplifters and the bottle can slip through your grasp and fall to the floor with a shattering thud. Another way is that you, yourself, can be attempting to shoplift said Wesson oil and attempt to stick it in your oversized raincoat and it slides right out and falls on the ground with said shattering thud. Another way is that you get that evil buggy with the loose wheel that wont turn right and you barge right in to the nice large stack of Wesson oil bottles that some poor stockboy has just stacked and ALL the bottles go crashing down and at least one bottle breaks.

    Now at least 25 to 50% of your customers will attempt to slink away from said mess without admitting to anyone that they made the mess if no one is on that isle with them at the time the mess was made!
  9. Marg's Man

    Marg's Man Member

    This sort of 'training' really disses me.

    All too often they go over detail that even the most totally self-centred difficult child would get but frequently miss something important.

    Sometimes(Often?) I think they are just make work for the training staff.

    Marg's Man
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I think always, actually. And I agree that while nit picking over stuff people should already know......they usually miss the important stuff.

    Janet you had me :rofl:

    I can add one to the list of how a bottle of cooking oil can be broken.......helpful toddler OOPS! ;)