Well son is officially gone. Has a new address he provided to me to give to his Bail officer. He is staying a city away and declares he is going to bus to school. As he didn't attend and was failing when he lived only half a mile away I doubt this will happen. He came by to pick up some of his belongings on Thursday. I informed him that social services called and if he did not call them back they would close his file. He said he had already dealt with that. I called social services back and they confirmed he had not taken care of what needs to be done. They can not share information with me as he is an adult in the eyes of the law from 16 forward...sort of....hate our young offenders act. I relayed this information to him on FB messenger. I offered to take him for groceries and basic supplies to ride him over until his social assistance comes in. He also declares he has a job (not likely), he has never held a job for any longer than 3 months and he is in a worse state now then he has ever been. He did not respond. He begged to stay one night last week and we allowed this. I made him drug test. He said it was pointless. It was for me not for him. This was to keep me out of the FOG and stick to our plan to make him leave home he tested positive for cocaine, benzos, pot, amphetamines and opioids. He left the Naloxone kit I got him on his bed in his bedroom clearly where I could see it. I had enraged texts from him yesterday where he disembowelled my ability as a mother for his whole life. This was over demands for $100 being refused. He wanted it to go to a Rave. I have blocked him from being able to text me and told him to communicate with his father. We have not heard from him since. It is quiet which is eerily peaceful. I am she'll shcocked but in the pit of my stomach I am calm and. I am a peace with my decisions and choices. Ir is like a post war scene where the enemy has fled and it is calm and peaceful, but the aftermath of the battle is still present all around. May things destroyed and broken, but the tenants of life and hope remain. Many things trigger me but I am strong. When I first came to this board I could not look at pictures of my son from the past, not without falling into a tailspin of tears and anxiety. I can now look and yes sometimes with sadness; but most times with pride and joy. Pride of good parenting, and joy for what we were able to offer him in his life. Vacations, sports, music, family fun and loving time spent together. I am empty in that place we call mother, as I look forward as I do not know where my sons path will lead. Frankly it is none of my business. It is his story to write. We will always love him and always be here for him. We will not enable him.