Stay-at-home mom or not?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Pink Elephant, May 28, 2018.

  1. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    So, what was your official status when you were raising your family?

    Did you stay-at-home, or did you work outside the home?
     
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I was either working or going to school full time, or both. I was able to be home for a brief period when Miss KT was about 9, but otherwise I was pulling double duty, as a single parent most of that time.
     
  3. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    So nice to hear from you, KT.

    I admire you (so much) for having the strength and determination to plod on through single parenthood. The challenges and stresses are insurmountable, so be able to live through it and still retain ones sanity is a true milestone victory.

    I was always a stay-at-home mom, though that, too, had it's cons. We lived off a very meager income, and being saddled-down 7 days a week, 365 days a year with crying babies along with the mundane duties of repetitive housework and chores that are part-and-parcel to being a fulltime homemaker, definitely had a way of trying my patience at times... many times in fact.
     
  4. ahhjeez

    ahhjeez Active Member

    I was actually both. I started a business that I ran from home when my son was born. He had extreme separation anxiety so I essentially attended school with him every day from the time he was 15 months old (Montessori program) until he started 5th grade. There is no way I would have been able to work a typical job with having to be at the school constantly. I still work from home and he will be starting college in the fall. :D
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  5. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    My husband lost his job when i was 6 months pregnant and my job was always more secure and had insurance. Sometimes he was mr mom and i had a couple months in summer.
     
  6. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    I wanted (so bad) to work once the kids got older, but the opportunity for the right job never came along, so I resigned myself to being at home fulltime. More than anything we needed the money. husband's income provided us with the basics but never allowed us to see anything extra, and that was the hard part of raising a family on a single income.
     
  7. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    I love hearing about stories where the husband steps up to the plate and takes the motherly role on.
     
  8. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I told both husband's that I didn't want somebody else raising my kids and do not want my kids in daycare. So I worked part time jobs during hours when the kids were with their father. I didn't care what anyone else did. I wanted to be home. Being Mom was #1 to me. I never wished I could work full time and enjoyed being the neighborhood mom for all the latchkey kids. Many neighborhood kids called me Mom.

    My kids had cookies and milk when they came home from school and could talk about their day. This was what I wanted for them. They all say they had good childhoods.

    So I made an unpopular choice for my own reason. I didn't mind not having tons of money. My kids didn't go without. I did and I didnt really care. So this choice worked well for me. I have never been sorry.
     
  9. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I admit, I did not and do not have the temperament for being a stay at home mom. My poor son would have been beaten before the week was out. An exaggeration, but I really am not a little kid person. They get on my nerves. I love my son and loved every moment (every tantrum-free moment) that I was with him...but I would not have if it had been 24/7.

    Also, as I was single pretty much immediately, my choices were go back to my job or be a lawyer on welfare.

    I hated being judged for working. I remember sitting across my desk from a woman, conducting her child support hearing, and when I was questioning her about her income some advised me she was not working because she didn't "believe in letting someone else raise my children" all the while looking at what was clearly photos of MY child all over my office! That was some nerve.
     
  10. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I did both.

    I was mostly a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom, but I often had something else going on, too. School, rental properties, work-from-home stuff and helping with hubby(s) business(es).

    I also was a girl-scout leader, dance mom, soccer mom, swim mom, ran homeschool high-school group science classes and activities, ice-skate mom, and a lot of other stuff I can’t remember right now.

    Plus, dating when I was single.....:)
     
  11. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    Although i worked as i was a teacher my hours coinsided with theirs so they were not latch key kids. I tried coaching soccer once but lets just say it was not something i excelled at. It really wasnt a choice i had planned to stay home when i had kids but you do what you have to do to take care of them. I was the breadwinner and my husband worked when he was able. I never judge either way because i don't know why others do what they do.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  12. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    I know mid-way through my first maternity leave that I was going back to work. I loved my son, but I worked SO hard for my career and to make money to support myself and my family that I was not going to give that up. As he got older and as I had more kids, I came to the realization that being a stay at home mom was just not in my make-up. I despise doing arts and crafts and playing with sand and goop, etc. I never liked those things when I was a kid and I didn't begin liking them when I had children. I hated the PTA, being a class mom and the like. So, I went to work and became the "dad" and H stayed home. It worked for us. I was a cub scout den mother, which I loved, for all of my boys. I tried being a Girl Scout leader for my D, but their rules were so onerous. i could not take off from work to go for their training - boy scouts did theirs at night and on weekends.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  13. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    I worked mostly part time. I found some great jobs that paid fairly well. I’m not sure those exist today and weren’t easy then. My career choice lended itself to that somewhat. My decision was influenced by my health issues combined with having young children.
    It’s great if you can find that type of work and you have good health insurance (husband’s job provided for that).
     
  14. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I hated the PTA and did not get active. I did things for my kids, not the school.

    I do not feel my choice is for everyone and do not judge. I felt judged myself for not working full time. There was pressure to work! Almost every mom I knew worked. I was the one the kids came to because their moms were not home after school.
     
  15. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    ...
    I was fairly active in the PTA at the elementary level. Really liked it. Did much less at middle school level and nothing at HS level. Worked PT and found that this was another of many perks. I made long lasting friendships with a few moms from back then.
     
  16. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Nomad...had to smile at "not sure these jobs exist today." I spent many y years working for answering service ices. Obviously they don't exist anymore!!! It was strictly landlines and paging.
     
  17. strangeworld

    strangeworld Member

    stay at home mom here. When my younger child was 9 months I started working my own art business from home all online. I never even considered that I wouldn't be a stay at home mom. Also, we purchased our first property in 1996 that had two houses so we lived in one and rented the other so that helped with- income.
     
  18. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    That was me, too, though it was understood long before we had our first child, that I would be a stay-at-home mom. An occasional in-home babysitter, I did use, but otherwise this momma was at home and on duty 24/7.
     
  19. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    I attribute baby siblings for helping me grow to be more baby/kid friendly and accepting.

    There were many times in the early beginnings (with my siblings) where I remember asking my mom if I could hand-down a spanking. I had zero patience. As for spanking, dear mom never allowed me to spank any of my sibs. She would always say that spanking was her job.
     
  20. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I just always wanted to be there for my kids. My mom did not work but she was a monster to me. I wanted my kids to feel warm and fuzzy about home and I didn't care if other people had more money. I loved when the neighborhood kids, all latch key, adopted me. I felt motherhood was my calling. I was a lot like my grandma. She loved kids. So did I.

    I admit that in my older age I have switched to loving dogs more...lol. I do love my grands with all my heart but am not wanting to raise them.