I can imagine myself in almost exactly the same situation you have described for Susie. I would get an attorney to help me. If that was impossible, I would try to figure out the worse scenario in either case and make a choice. In my situation, I don't think me taking a stand, saying they were wrong, and going to jail, would convince them. Maybe I would still feel I had no choice. I don't know.
I do have a therapist that would back me up as a rational person and would support our decisions. Do you have someone like that? I only see mine a few times a year, but I could go see her more if a court demanded it. Is there a way you can do what they order and then comply enough to get through this? Hoping to convince over time, the treating therapist that you are not the problem.
My husband and I once went to a marriage counselor. It was right after I started the gluten free diet and I wanted to make sure there was NO gluten in my food because even tiny amounts caused problems for me. husband, of course, thought I was imagining that a speck of gluten could make such a difference and was not supportive of my need for him to use a different toaster or whatever I was asking. On our first visit, the counselor thought I was "depressed" and probaby OCDish, but she didn't say OCDish. When we went back, the therapist had done a little research and found out that I was right, a speck could cause a problem. She was obviously a good therapist, because I could see how some would not bother to look and would just assume I was the one with the problem. This gluten thing is one of the reasons I would be concerned about taking that test. I think it is likely it would be interpreted as a problem.
But if you go to jail, won't your son end up with your brother anyway? If you agree to the contract of making your son's favorite meals if he doesn't break the law, and he does break the law, then what happens? Couldn't you just play along and say "I don't know what happened. I have been making his favorite meals just like you said and he still is breaking the law. What should I do now?" Would they give him more help then?
Anyway, please don't think I am judging you, whatever you decide.
I do have a therapist that would back me up as a rational person and would support our decisions. Do you have someone like that? I only see mine a few times a year, but I could go see her more if a court demanded it. Is there a way you can do what they order and then comply enough to get through this? Hoping to convince over time, the treating therapist that you are not the problem.
My husband and I once went to a marriage counselor. It was right after I started the gluten free diet and I wanted to make sure there was NO gluten in my food because even tiny amounts caused problems for me. husband, of course, thought I was imagining that a speck of gluten could make such a difference and was not supportive of my need for him to use a different toaster or whatever I was asking. On our first visit, the counselor thought I was "depressed" and probaby OCDish, but she didn't say OCDish. When we went back, the therapist had done a little research and found out that I was right, a speck could cause a problem. She was obviously a good therapist, because I could see how some would not bother to look and would just assume I was the one with the problem. This gluten thing is one of the reasons I would be concerned about taking that test. I think it is likely it would be interpreted as a problem.
But if you go to jail, won't your son end up with your brother anyway? If you agree to the contract of making your son's favorite meals if he doesn't break the law, and he does break the law, then what happens? Couldn't you just play along and say "I don't know what happened. I have been making his favorite meals just like you said and he still is breaking the law. What should I do now?" Would they give him more help then?
Anyway, please don't think I am judging you, whatever you decide.