Echolette
Well-Known Member
difficult child is in a "trying" mode. I too am in "trying" mode. I am trying to not get overly optimistic about his trying. We have been here before. I try to step back and let him manage things, he falls on his face and squirms on his belly for a while, I refuse to help because "he has to hit rock bottom", right? then he lifts his head and tries one little thing, and I rush in like a tidal wave with "help" (I'm big on the quotation marks tonight) and I wash him and his little tiny effort right out to sea.
But I stopped doing all that a year ago. And started being OK with the stopping doing all that in December, when he was in jail and I found you all.
So this time is new.
He has a job delivering food for a take out place...on a bicycle because he never got his driver's license. Bicycle is presumabley stolen.....but I digress.
He has had the job about a month, that is long for him.
He got himself a case worker. And tomorrow he has a psychiatric intake for outpatient services. Which he scheduled for himself.
And here is where the title of my thread comes in...he called and said, mom, what are my diagnoses?
Oh, difficult child, where to begin.
To be clear, he has heard all of them before, we have not hidden anything. In general he doesn't like to hear that he has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), and doesn't accept that he has either high functioning autism or schizoaffective disorder. And I, frankly, don't think he fits any exact disorder and lack faith in the long string of diagnoses assigned to him...and yet...there is clearly something neurologically or psychologically wrong with him...
so here we go.
Well, difficult child, you carry a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (deep breath, rush in before he can object) and honey, you WERE delayed..you talked late and had delayed fine motor. We know this. So that is probably a fair diagnosis (also we have autism in the family)
And slow processing.
And ADD
Your IQ is high normal.
And bipolar disorder, later changed to schizoaffective. Here he says what??? I never had hallucinations. And I said...you thought you had a whole conversation with the commanding officer at your military academy the day they threw you out, but you were never in his office, you went straight to the infirmary where I picked you up. to which he replied...thats weird.
And I said..and tell them about carrying the axe around lower Manhatten, and getting committed to Bellevue for 6 weeks right before super storm sandy. and he laughed.
And last, I said, you have a performance score of 55.
What is that? he said. and I said...it is a measure of your ability to live on your own and support yourself.
I forget to mention substance abuse, and adjustment disorder...
Anyway, it was an awkward conversation. It is never that comfortable to try to label or summarize difficult child.
It also reminds me in an uncomfortable way how little we or the medical or social structure understand or can help him.
I'll let you know if he follows up with either psychiatrist or case worker.
Echo
But I stopped doing all that a year ago. And started being OK with the stopping doing all that in December, when he was in jail and I found you all.
So this time is new.
He has a job delivering food for a take out place...on a bicycle because he never got his driver's license. Bicycle is presumabley stolen.....but I digress.
He has had the job about a month, that is long for him.
He got himself a case worker. And tomorrow he has a psychiatric intake for outpatient services. Which he scheduled for himself.
And here is where the title of my thread comes in...he called and said, mom, what are my diagnoses?
Oh, difficult child, where to begin.
To be clear, he has heard all of them before, we have not hidden anything. In general he doesn't like to hear that he has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), and doesn't accept that he has either high functioning autism or schizoaffective disorder. And I, frankly, don't think he fits any exact disorder and lack faith in the long string of diagnoses assigned to him...and yet...there is clearly something neurologically or psychologically wrong with him...
so here we go.
Well, difficult child, you carry a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (deep breath, rush in before he can object) and honey, you WERE delayed..you talked late and had delayed fine motor. We know this. So that is probably a fair diagnosis (also we have autism in the family)
And slow processing.
And ADD
Your IQ is high normal.
And bipolar disorder, later changed to schizoaffective. Here he says what??? I never had hallucinations. And I said...you thought you had a whole conversation with the commanding officer at your military academy the day they threw you out, but you were never in his office, you went straight to the infirmary where I picked you up. to which he replied...thats weird.
And I said..and tell them about carrying the axe around lower Manhatten, and getting committed to Bellevue for 6 weeks right before super storm sandy. and he laughed.
And last, I said, you have a performance score of 55.
What is that? he said. and I said...it is a measure of your ability to live on your own and support yourself.
I forget to mention substance abuse, and adjustment disorder...
Anyway, it was an awkward conversation. It is never that comfortable to try to label or summarize difficult child.
It also reminds me in an uncomfortable way how little we or the medical or social structure understand or can help him.
I'll let you know if he follows up with either psychiatrist or case worker.
Echo