Thanks to everyone for their support and prayers!
The trip there was not fun. Husband got a speeding ticket. Things are crazy in Mississippi! Trooper was pulling people over when he already had someone pulled over. He wasn't speeding but there was no way to tell this trooper that. He was pulling people over while they were doing 70 mph and standing on the side of the road. Crazy. The guy in front of us was doing 83 but there was no explaining it. He found out there was an online course so will take it so it won't count against him and just pay it.
Our son looks great. He looks better than I have ever seen him look in his late teen or adult life. He is working out in his spare time which is only on Saturdays since they have to be in at 6pm for the night and he works until 5pm. He is eating healthy and caring for himself better than ever.
We had planned to go to the zoo but it was not good weather so we saw a movie and did some shopping and ate! He loved seeing the dogs and it was great that he got to see them. The room smelled like wet dog due to the rain but not much we could do! So we kind of had our own zoo.
I felt pretty comfortable around him which was good. He normally makes me very nervous. I was nervous but not as bad as I used to be. I know that he has learned so much. We referred to it as a sort of school. He actually had to teach a class last week as part of his graduating requirements and said he did fine and he didn't even turn red. He is ready to get away from living with ten guys with one sink.
He also said that the others look up to those like him in the final phase. They are like celebrities there. He felt that way about the guys in the final phase too at one time. He said that feels good. I told him that we are proud that he has stuck with this and he should be proud too. I think it is good for his self esteem to finally have something to feel good about!
He talked about getting HIS phone back and his dad reminded him that he bought it with our money without our consent so he could work to pay it off. He is also saving for a car down-payment. Originally he was not happy to work full time because he could not go to the gym which he really enjoys, but did realize he had his priorities wrong so now is thankful for the hours which means he can save more money. He knows he can go to the gym after work every day when he comes home. He seems really into it and that is a good addiction -- if you must have one.
He showed us his route to work - on his bike - well the bike they loan him for $5 per week. He rides in the rain too. It's pretty far and through some rough neighborhoods. It initially made me worry about this very white boy riding through the neighborhoods but....well you know the rest.
He mentioned that a guy that had gotten to the final phase of the program and someone he considered a friend was caught doing pills (and stole $20 from J but denied it) and got kicked out a few months ago. He is several years older than J and has a daughter. He said that he showed up at a Celebrate Recovery meeting last week and he was so thin that J could barely look at him. It was painful. I think he was meant to see that though.
He is the youngest person there and the reason why is because WE said NO MORE and would not let him live in our home and drug and that forced him to go down faster. It was a risk we were willing to take. A risk we had to take to save him from himself.
He seems very thankful for all that we did for him and happy to see us. I have hope that this time things will be different but I don't know how long it will take to shake the feeling I have or if I will ever shake it like Kathy said.
I know that we have done everything we can do, as parents, to give him the best possible opportunity to live a good life that he can be proud of and THAT gives me peace. We just hope that he sees that and is ready to move forward. It seems so but I did not want to bring up the past so we could have a happy weekend.