Turning off the Internet, practicing earlier bedtimes, school begins in a wk

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Aug 31, 2011.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I attended difficult child's open house today (he refused to go), met his teachers, spoke with-the nurse, the PTA, and the guidance counselor. Bought a school tshirt.
    Came home to tell difficult child about it. (Called first, to tell him I was on my way, and to carve out some time for me.)
    He refused to get off of the computer and sit down at the table with-me.
    I made him do it and he was snotty. :groan:Didn't want the tshirt. Didn't want to know who his teachers were. Didn't want to know what time the bus came.
    Blew a gasket when I told him we have a 504 mtng tomorrow.
    "I hate it when you talk about me to my face!"
    "You mean behind your back?"
    "No, to my face. I don't want to go to the mting!"
    "You mean, you want me to be secretive about it?"
    "Yeah, fine! And I am not having the teacher sign my notebook! And I know I have anger mgmt issues and blah blah yell scream ***** blah blah!!!!"

    You know those cartoons where you see a dog in a gust of wind, and the ears are blown back? That would be difficult child yelling at me.

    Let the fun begin!
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Obvious who's "really" looking forward to going back to school... NOT.
    Its so tough, because school isn't a good fit for so many of our kids - and other options are often, not options at all.
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending my extra armor...I remember a similar battle. I had recently heard Rick Lavoie speak, and the statement that stood out most clearly for me was that, as parents, we needed to prepare the child for the situation and the situation for the child. So when she started junior high, I asked Hubby to walk her schedule with her before school started, pointing out things like restrooms, cafeteria, library, etc. He and I both went there, so it wasn't that difficult a task, but he wasn't working and I was.

    Yell, scream, fuss, pitch a fit, it was JUST TOOOOOOO EMBAAAAAAARASSSSSING...and then, Miss KT discovered that a lot of her friends were nervous about finding their way around. Suddenly, life was beautiful because Miss KT had a guide who would help them. I think he had a group of six or eight 12 year olds following along. He walked everyone's schedule with them, and everyone was happy because they wouldn't look like "stupid seventh graders" since they knew where to go.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh the fun!!

    What grade is he in this year- does he start high school? I really worry about you as his refusals and demands increase and he becomes more adamant about what he will and will not do or "tolerate".
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Terry,

    we are doing the school prep around here as well. Since Saturday night difficult child has been going to bed an hour earlier every other night. The mornings have been pretty easy - he's been up before or about the same time as me - which is a shocker because that boy can sleep!!!!!!!

    He has a reprive tomorrow night as his best bud is coming over for an end-of-the-summer all night gaming marathon! Which means when I come downstairs I will find them asleep somewhere. Last time his friend was on the floor in the "playroom" with a pillow and blanket and difficult child was on a chair with his blanket and pillow in the family room!

    difficult child got his schedule on Friday and saw that he got the electives he wanted and went on about his business. Boys are sooooooo different from girls - easy child at that age would have been iming or talking to all her friends to find out if anyone was in any of her classes or if anyone knew any scoop on the teachers!!!!!

    Here's some finger crossing for a positive start on Tuesday!

  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Great offensive planning. Flipping the switch from summer schedules to school overnight just never seemed to work with my family. Good luck. DDD
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all. He is calmer today. And I have no email about the 504 mtng. Sigh.

    He is in 8th gr. (We held him back in 3rd gr.)

    He watered the plants and did 2 pp of math this a.m.

    Yeah, he happens to be excellent at directions. In fact, one of the aides yesterday said that if I was finished mtng the teachers, I could go, but I told her I was going to hang out and familiarize myself with-the rest of the bldg. She said that was a good idea, so I could show difficult child. Nononono, *I*'m the one who gets lost! difficult child had it memorized in the first 15 seconds last yr! lol! I hate going to restrooms in public places (malls, airports) because I'll turn left instead of right on my way out, but if difficult child is there, he just grabs my arm and rolls his eyes. :)

    One of the hard things about this is that because husband works such long hrs, he talks a good talk about what to do about difficult child, but then doesn't follow through. When he comes home, he crashes in front of the TV or eats and goes to bed. That leaves me to do the good, the bad and the ugly. It is soooooo frustrating!

    Anyway, at least difficult child knows that I will follow through on what I say because last night when I turned off the Internet, he went straight to bed with-no more argument.
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sounds like a typical difficult child way of reacting to something that makes him anxious! :winks: My whole family seems to do that -- get snarky when you try to talk to them about something they're nervous about. Sigh.

    Good for you for sticking to your guns and being consistent. Makes for fewer headaches in the longrun. Hope this is a better year for him!
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
    A cpl hrs ago, he asked for a clonidine. "What's wrong?"
    "I feel weird and I woke up that way."
    (Funny thing, I did too and part of it is from the scene yesterday. Part is hearing that my dad slugged a nurse and gave her a black eye, and then my little sister brought him an eggroll and he was afraid of it, and he weighs about 100 lbs now ... and part is financial, with-the mortgage due today. Part of it is trying to find paperwork in my office, when I threw everything into plastic tubs with-o labels b4 the hurricane. At least I can identify my stressors.)
    So I gave him one and made him drink some juice with-it. He said he feels better.
    I told him that too much computer will make that weird feeling worse.
    Yeah, yeah, yeah ...
    But at least he used words in a normal tone of voice. Small miracle.
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    And at least he's recognizing his own need, AND communicating that need in an appropriate way...

    The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    That's for sure.
    Lao Tse, right?
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sorry for the scene. thank you is in his third week of school and had the middle school memorized about twenty min after he got his schedule. As good as he can be with directions, he gets caught up in his head and ends up in some pretty strange places, lol!!

    Terry, you are NOT alone with directions. I am incredibly awful at directions. I finally managed to make husband understand my version of north, south, etc.... about fifteen yrs ago. North is in front of me. Period. He stopped giving directions with North and south in them after that, LOL! (I have tried to grasp directions, really have, but they simply don't make sense to me.) I cannot count the number of times my family will follow me and ask where I am going - and I have NO IDEA why I am going that way. Wiz can be a real brat about it - once let me wander for ten minutes just to see where we would end up and how long I would go before realizing I had NO clue where I was going. We always have a good laugh over that!

    I hope school is a good thing this year. I hope that he can continue to at least use a reasonable voice with you.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    North is in front of me. Period


    Reminds me of a series of kids videos we used to watch.
    "There goes a truck" was one of them. The drivers are husband and wife, and they get lost, pull out a map, and the wife says, "North is up, it's always UP!" as they are fighting over the map and she's pointing toward the sky.
    difficult child could never figure out why I laughed so hard at that part.