As most of you know, Difficult Child has been doing much better for more than a year now. Progress, certainly not perfection, and I still must work hard on having no expectations, which is a slippery slope and one I slide around on. Over the weekend, girlfriend (the one who stabbed him last summer) "went ballistic." She smashed up his house, broke the TV, his computer, the glass topped table, and I don't know what else. The noise was so great, and the yelling and screaming, I imagine, that three people called the police. Difficult Child said she came at him with a knife, and he took it away from her, and then she scratched his neck and the back of his hand. He told her to get in the car, and he took her somewhere else down the road and dropped her off, before he even knew the police had been called. He said he had to get her out of there. He went back to his place and the police had just been there. They came back shortly and he told them everything but not about the knife. "I can't give somebody a felony." A warrant was issued for her, and last night she was arrested. This type of drama has been going on for more than a year. They got together when they were both homeless and it's been on again, off again for about 18 months. She is 20 and he is 26. She is bipolar and an alcoholic (according to her and him) and doesn't take medication. The social worker at the day shelter where Difficult Child used to go when he was homeless told me "this girl is more trouble than you will ever imagine, and your son doesn't need to have a thing to do with her." Ok, like I can do something about that, right? Anyway....she is in jail now, and of course, I am hoping that this is it for them. He said, "I know you hate her, Mom." I said to him: "I don't hate her at all. I do think she is a very troubled person, and I do think that you can't fix her or save her, and I don't think she is good for you at all. That's what I think about her and you, in a nutshell." I have had her over here with him several times, at Christmas and again this past Fourth of July. She has cut marks all over her arms. She is a very pretty girl and she doesn't say much when she is here. She always gives me a hug when she leaves. It truly is heart-breaking. Her mother is bipolar and has multiple kids, doesn't work, the grandparents are wealthy and evidently have bailed her out a million times. I met her once, and she never took a breath---talked and talked. All I had to do was nod. The dad isn't any better. This girl really has nobody. But even if she did, she has to want to change. I understand she has been in serious trouble since she was 14. Anyway, Difficult Child is doing so much better, working hard, paying his bills (mostly), and acting sweet and kind. But he still doesn't see himself clearly, and he doesn't make "good decisions" about things like I would like him to. So, what to do? Nothing. I can't get him "there" any faster than he is going. Like my husband said a few years ago: It took him a long time to walk into the forest. It's going to take him a long time to walk out. So, I am learning how to navigate here, in a different time and in a different situation than it used to be, with homelessness, jail, obvious drug use, all of the situations that he was in all the time for the past 5 to 6 years. This appears to be a new day for him (I say that cautiously, realizing it can change) but it's not all forward progress, pretty, tied up with a bow, like I would like it to be. I still have to be vigilant with myself and maintain boundaries with him. I don't need to know the everyday of his life. I don't need to engage too much. I don't need to ask a lot of questions (one of my very worst habits with him). Let it go, let it go, let it go. It will be what it will be. It is what it is. Life on life's terms. These are the things I say to myself over and over when I get caught up in my head with his stuff. He must walk this path, that I firmly believe. I just hope this is it with he and this girl.