Update on trip to Mexico

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Kathy813, May 27, 2012.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hello all,

    As you might remember, I was worried about going a trip to Mexico with two other couples. We didn't want to leave difficult child alone in our house due to problems we had last year when we left her alone when we went on vacation.

    difficult child has found a place to stay while we are gone. She is going to stay with the family of her bff who has taken her in before. The mom asked to talk with me and we discussed difficult child's DBT treatment and her early stage of recovery. I made it clear that difficult child should not be drinking any alcohol and the mom agreed and said she would talk to her daughters about it (they were the ones telling difficult child that she just needed to learn to drink in moderation). She also said that she would expect difficult child to be at their house any time she wasn't working or going to therapy.

    Ironically, she dislikes difficult child's loser boyfriend (Peter Pan) even more than I do and didn't sound happy about letting difficult child spend the night at his house. I told her I was fine if she wanted to tell difficult child she couldn't do that while we were gone.

    So I feel comfortable going on the trip. I am heading off to difficult child's salon in a little while so difficult child can airbrush spray tan me. She has been taught how to do that and already has several regular clients. She laughingly told me that the owner told her that she should write on my back a message that says we should have taken difficult child with us. I told her that I was going to check out my back in the mirror before I left the salon. LOL

    difficult child seems to be doing well. She hasn't missed any DBT sessions and gets up and off to work by herself. She has talked to me about some of the things that she and her therapist have talked about. She said that she wants to work on honesty since she knows that has been one of her biggest issues in the past. She talked about being totally self-sufficient someday and the therapist said that she should work on small goals that will build skills that she will need in the future to be self-sufficient. This week she said she is going to work on laundry and cleaning up her room.

    She has also been turning over the money from her paycheck and we are working on budgeting. She gets paid weekly so I showed her the envelope method where she divides her bills into 4 payments and puts 1/4th of the money in an envelope each week. She hasn't been making enough money to pay her bills and DBT yet but she is going to start working more hours starting next week.

    We are still dealing with anxiety issues. Her DBT therapist has suggested biofeedback to help with the anxiety. I looked it up and it looks interesting. Anyone else ever used biofeedback?

    Last edited: May 27, 2012
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Your update sounds so positive, so many good things that difficult child is learning and working on. Best of all you are enjoying some fun moments together and you will be able to go on your trip with peace of mind, the most peace of mind you can have in this situation anyway.

    Does the spray tan prevent burning? Can you still get a tan with it on?

  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    No, the spray tan does not prevent burning. I will have to wear sunscreen . . . lots of it!! I have very pale skin and never have gotten a tan in my life. When I was young and stupid, I would try to tan and instead burn, peel, and go back to white again.

    The tan will wear off before we get back so I will probably be the only person that goes on vacation and comes back lighter than I went in the first place. LOL There is a spa at the resort so I might just get it reapplied while I am there.

  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Update on difficult child sounds very good Kathy! I love her goals. I also love your envelope plan. In case your interested, they have a computer program for that on the computer that does that too and its free.

    Oh and about the biofeedback, Star has used it before. You might want to PM her about it.
  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    You've worked out a great plan...and difficult child seems to be inching more toward easy child-land every day. Go and enjoy your trip, and don't get sunburn!
  6. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks, Janet. Where can I find the computer program?

    However, for now, I think it helps difficult child see the cash being divided into envelopes so she sees that you have to put away the money in advance so you have it when the time comes to pay the bills. Anything left over is what she gets to spend on the fun stuff.
  7. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Glad you were able to come up with the good plan. Even gladder your difficult child is taking steps to right direction. The gladdest you were able to share some fun and light hearted moments with your difficult child. Those are the treasure.

    Have the best holiday and do not burn yourself!
  8. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    I'm so glad all has worked out so you can go and relax. I am also so happy to hear about your girl. She is doing well. Sounds like her heart is in the right place to move forward. We used biofeedback for my son. He was able to get off medications after doing it. It was his goal as he had been on ritalin since age 5. It worked well. He took up the drums about the same time, in a serious way, and got the same centered effect. It was costly and back then (about 11 years ago) it was not covered by insurance. It is suppose to "retrain" the brain. We think it worked to help him learn to focus and self -sooth. Good stuff for us!
  9. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    Kathy: What a positive update on your difficult child and your vacation! I'm so glad that your difficult child will stay with another responsible adult when you and h are on vacation. That must be a huge relief for you! It is also so good to hear that your difficult child is moving in the right direction. We need to hear good news about our difficult child's for a change. Have a wonderful trip and try not to worry too much about your difficult child. HUGS...
  10. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kathy, reading your post made me smile from ear to ear. I love that you are going on your trip, that will be a real boost on the fun meter! And, your difficult child is doing so well. this is very, very good news. You sound positive and more relaxed and calm, a lovely post in every way.

    Many years ago I did biofeedback and I found it quite helpful. I know others here in CA. who have used this method and I have really only heard positive results about it. I've tried so many therapies/healing methods and happy I did because for the most part, they all helped.

    I hope you have a wonderful time in Mexico, relax, rejuvenate, let go, have fun, eat shrimp tacos and drink yummy Margaritas! :thumbsup:
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Great happy UP post. I have a smile on my face. Hugs DDD
  12. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Kathy.... very glad to read the good update and VERY glad you are going on your trip!!!